Carers for 0-5s with own young children please help

[angel31dust]

Hi I am hoping for some words of wisdom, advise on personal experiences regarding the impact fostering 0-5 year olds has on your own young children. I ask because my ex husband won't give consent for his daughter to be in a house with foster children until he has more information. I am nearing the end of my assessment and can't go further without his approval. He is worried our 6 year old will be at risk. I have decided Not to foster sexual abuse case children as there is a risk element and to only have the under 5s again minimising any risk on her. I really hope someone reading this can help as it's so important to me to become a foster carer but I can't do it without your help.
So to recap my assessment is for 0-5s only with no sexual abuse cases and I have a 6 year old daughter living with me. We are going through our local authority.
Please help. Thankyou x

[angel31dust]

Awww thankyou. X

[shaz298]

That's fantastic news. Congratulations x

[angel31dust]

Just to update you all. He finally agreed to consent our application to foster. Yay so happy. Thanks all for your Postings they really helped x x

[maypole1]

hi i foster 0-6 and have a 10 year old bio child

he loves being a big brother to the children i do agree going younger than your own child is always best hwo about just doing babies for now 0-2 you can always change the age group at a later date.

one way we have made our lo safe is by talking to him about good touch bad touch and making sure were open so he can come to us with any issue

he loves being part of a foster family and it has made him a better person as it has us you do get to find out about the children before taking them on and can refuse to take on a child just because they ring you the answer doesn't have to be yes, we already have a child in placement so have turned down sevrel children

any if at any time i thought my child was in danger i would act, also the sw don't want the placement to breakdown so are quite good at matching children to foster families


i think you ex needs may be get on here and have a chat with some carers ask any questions he has

[angel31dust]

Hi thanks so much for posting your experience. I think he is just concerned and i guess that lots of people have this misconstrued notion that foster children are a risk no matter what their background. When in actual fact it couldnt be further from the truth. I hope that what you have written will go some way to reassuring him about his daughters welfare. And help him realise what an amazing experience it will be for her. She really wants siblings but I can't have anymore so fostering was the logical alternative. She is really looking forward to having little ones to help look after.
I must just add I think you are amazing to have brought up 3 of your own and foster. You have a truely wonderful soul.

[sumum]

Hi angel,
I started my fostering career when my dds were 3and a half and 18months. we had various age children but the ones that did work best were the babies who were younger than them.

When they were 12 and 14 I had another child a ds who is now 7, we have always fostered for every minute since his birth.

we carefully match placements to ensure we meet everybodies needs, sometimes placemants have been older, sometimes younger.

I agree if you are starting out then younger is the way to go, prefrably a tiny baby to get your dd used to sharing.

My grown up girls both say how much fostering has enriched their lives.

Yes they have had to share, but that in it's self is not a bad thing, it's one of the reasons lots of couples go on to have a second child.
it makes them more generous and giving as adults.

Birth children can undoubtedly be damaged by fostering, if they get attached to a child who moves on it can hurt, so good preparatory work with them and time out just for them helps.

No one with children would foster if they thought it would damage thier own kids.

Do you work? some people are of the opinion that working mums harm their children, so at the end of the day your xh just has an opinion.

kids in the care system are just kids at the end of the day, not monsters who are out to damage your child.

I think your xh is very VERY misinformed.