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Forces sweethearts

If you have a family member in the Royal Navy, RAF or army, find support from other Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

whats the married quarters really like?

208 replies

YouNeverKnowIMightFlounce · 18/11/2008 17:37

dh and i both applying to join army. w e are married with 2 dds

what are schools and houses really like?

thanks!

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Wallaroo · 18/11/2008 18:32

I don't want to put a dampner on your plans but I left the services when DD came along because they could not guarentee we would be posted together nor could they guarentee we would not be detatched at the same time

The quarters are generally ok. Good luck

cali · 18/11/2008 18:34

My only experience of married quarters were The Keep, in Kingston upon Thames.

Loved Kingston, house was a completely different story.

No longer live in married quarters thanks to our experiences.

hf128219 · 18/11/2008 18:35

Army wife here. How old are your children?

I think you need to think very carefully about childcare arrangements - I am not saying it won't work - there are plenty of people in the forces married to each other with children.

You just need to have a very good back up system in place.

There are many people joining the Army these days who are older - I know of one single mum who is going through basic training at the moment.

Why do you want to join?

jcscot · 18/11/2008 18:39

You definitely need to let them know about the bankruptcy issue (whether discharged or not) as it may affect your chances of joing certain capbadges or doing certain jobs.

jcscot · 18/11/2008 18:40

"Loved Kingston, house was a completely different story."

We were offered a house there and took a drive to see it. We took one look, drove away and turned it down and held out for quarter at Mill Hill instead. Lovely area, Kingston but a horrible patch.

Scootergrrrl · 18/11/2008 18:44

I really think you need to think more about it before you both join up. It might be that your husband joins the army and you can work at the dental centre on whatever camp he's at as a civilian then you won't get deployed!

saltire · 18/11/2008 18:45

I hope you don't think we're trting to put you off, just that we want to point things out to you that you may not have thought, or been told about

SmallShips · 18/11/2008 18:55

No idea about MQ as never had one.

If you both join up there is a chance you'll be deployed even as a dental nurse. They do try to keep one of you at home when the other is away, but it is not guarenteed. I was told they would keep me in a shore side billet when DH was away, but i would still do duties (overnight/weekends) so you need to make sure you have childcare. In the end i left, too much pressure. I often think about joining back up and i think i will in 5 years time, but by then DH will be a civvy.

Think carefully and speak to as many people as you can. It can and is done by lots of families.

Original poster
YouNeverKnowIMightFlounce · 18/11/2008 18:56

yes to be honest i really did not think i would be deplyed completely stupid really! bit ignorant.

not sure what cap badge? its all just starting in the application at the moment. but hes aiming for air corps dispatch??

maybe one of us should stay out the army? not got family that i can rely on to have my girls and to be honest i know that army liufe can be bit here there everywhere so would want as much stability for them as i can.

we wanted to join as we can't afford where we are to live andeven smaller hoouse even huge payment. we struggle so much and i so desperately want a good life and to get a career and a life for me and my family to be proud of.

we want and are willing to do everything we can to achieve that.

how do you survive witrh just one wage coming in? sorry!
and are there lots of job oppurtunitys on camps etc?

i find the thought of living abroad exciting.

sorry i have so many questions but want everything right in my head if this is a definate go ahead

OP posts:
Original poster
YouNeverKnowIMightFlounce · 18/11/2008 19:01

and no not at all girls need you all for your honest opinions!!!

maybe case of just me or just dh to work??

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jcscot · 18/11/2008 19:04

No need to apologise! It's a lot to think about, even when it's only one of you considering joining up. Stability - well, it can be a bit hit and miss. Some jobs are more stable than others and some capbadges are busier than others. I don't know much about the Air Corps (have one good friend who's a pilot) so I can't say how busy they are.

You can definitely afford to live on one wage if you're in MQ but you have to bear in mind that you need to save in order to be able to afford a house when you leave the Army. We made the decision two years ago to move out of MQs and settle in my home town, so that my parents would be on hand to help with the children and so that I can help my Mum and Dad (my Dad isn't in the best of health). This has advantages and disadvantages, obviously. I don't see as much of my husband as he or I would like and it will only get worse as he moves down south when he finishes his current posting. We bought our own home and I don't work, so our two wee boys have a measure of stability.

As for job opportunities on camp - it varies, depending on what you want to do and what your qualifications are but you can usually pick up work wherever you are posted.

Living abroad isn't as exciting as it used to be as a lot of the overseas postings have gone but there are still opportunities for travel and Germany/Cyprus can be a lot of fun.

SmallShips · 18/11/2008 19:10

Even if you do your training at different times it will be impossible if you dont have someone to watch the DC for 8weeks? (how long is Army basic?), he or you will go from phase 1 training straight into phase 2.

Original poster
YouNeverKnowIMightFlounce · 18/11/2008 19:22

sorry my laptop is soooooo slow!
i believe that when we looked at both we would have some kind of leave or break? and then phase two.

my husband is able to take on redundancy as option had this not be a option tbh i wouldnt think we could afford to do it ie with the training etc.

im thinking more and more that maybe i take it up should i still want to when my dh is settled? i dont know now!

erm i have 2 dd's 3 and 1 and my mum and mil still both work full time. my mum would be a no as her job just doesnt allow it. but my mil may be a option as she works for a school and has a 6 week period but how liukely it is to fall convientely alongside training i dont know!

i can pick up most things job wise!

saving is something we would eventually like to do but for the past 2 yrs we have rented and with our bankruptcy history owning is a long way off at the moment.

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weepootle · 18/11/2008 19:34

I would definitely advise against both of you joining I'm afraid. Dh and I are both serving but I'll be leaving after my maternity leave.

We've been very lucky as we're in the same corps and haven't had too much seperation. I've heard that Medical/Dental corps are especially bad when it comes to compassionate postings. The chances of you both being together are slim- some camps only have 1 military dental nurse, some have all civilian.

You asked about childcare, there isn't childcare supplied- you just go and sort out your own in the same way civilians do.

Married quarter charges vary quite considerably, my last quarter was Grade 1 and I think cost around £250 per month. My current quarter is Grade 4 and only costs £60.

There's really no need for you to join- let your husband join and if you need more income then just get a job wherever he's posted.

Original poster
YouNeverKnowIMightFlounce · 18/11/2008 19:39

shameless bump!

whats the average outgoings you should expect for family of 4?

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SmallShips · 18/11/2008 19:41

I would say in all honesty that it would be best for just one of you to go in. The transition from civvy life to military can be hard and the stress will be worse if you both go through it at the same time.

There is ALOT to think about, but keep asking questions on here, we can help with advice etc.

cali · 18/11/2008 19:42

Depends on the grade of MQ you are staying in and the type of MQ you are entitled to.

If you have 2 children, I think it will be a 3 bedroomed property and these from what I can remember were anywhere from £155 per month (that's what we paid in The Keep) to £450 per month.
You then will have CILOCT deducted from your wage and all the usual bills and insurance on top of that.

cali · 18/11/2008 19:44

sorry CILOCT is cash in lieu of council tax, which is roughly the going rate for whatever area you are living in .

Original poster
YouNeverKnowIMightFlounce · 18/11/2008 19:45

sorry weepootle cross post!
sorry whats CILOCT?

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Original poster
YouNeverKnowIMightFlounce · 18/11/2008 19:47

Lol
thanks!

ok so does that mean you get help towards it?

have to say im thinking just one of us. i will show this thread to dh save me explaining all again lol

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cali · 18/11/2008 19:50

No you don't, dh had the same amount deducted from his wages as CILOCT as friends of mine who weren't in the forces but who lived in Kingston in a 3 bedroomed house.

I can't remember how much it was exactly but I think it was about £160 per month but as I said earlier, it depends on where you live.

trockodile · 18/11/2008 19:53

afaik CTIL is the same where ever you are posted, as an average of the country as a whole. The idea is that you are not disadvantaged because the army send you to live somewhere expensive.

weepootle · 18/11/2008 19:53

I think the CILOCT is a subsidised rate- we've never paid anywhere near the going rate for our quarters.

trockodile · 18/11/2008 19:54

CILOCT

Original poster
YouNeverKnowIMightFlounce · 18/11/2008 19:54

looks like i would need to work still and childcare is so expensive especially on such low starting wage
ahhhhh my heads a mess with sums!

thing is i so want a career myself too grrrr

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