Hm. This is an interesting one. I was an army wife for a decade. My honest advice, which may be controversial, is that forces life is a great choice for low income families who want a better life, but not a good choice for couples with more money/options. The balance of pros and cons is different for those with more money.
How to explain. I’ve seen so many young couples who had zero cash and not great exam results who wanted a big family young, and the man joined up and they had four kids, got given a large house and a great social life on tap (the social life is fab!!!) and the man was trained up to achieve impressive things. He gets status, interesting satisfying job, gets to go to the gym for hours during the working day, ok money, she gets good social life and good house for the kids.
But, if you could have afforded a decent home anyway, and are already happy with your social life, and if you want a career, then the forces life is a much worse choice...
In the military they’re very clear on rank. Your husband is the important one and you the wife are the accessory/support. You are kind of treated with respect, but always less respect than him. If you just want to booze and party and look after kids then fine, but if you’re an intelligent ambitious woman, it can become hell. Finding a job is hard, employers don’t like forces wives as they know you’ll quit in 2-3 years (some forces wives even lie to employers to get jobs, pretending not to have a miltary spouse).
For children, I’m afraid it is a crap life. A confident outgoing boy who’s good at football may be ok being moved from school to school, but a shy boy, or a girl (for whom ‘best friend’ is usually more important, and who also has to deal with the ‘mean girls’ who appear in most schools) will struggle. I know many adults who moved around with the forces, and all of them wished they’d had a home in one place.
A lot of army wives are miserable. The happy ones tend to drink heavily.
In your situation, with young twins and supportive family nearby, I think you’d be giving up a lot and he’d be gaining a lot.
Also - and this isn’t mentioned enough - it is bloody stressful for you when husband is away in Afghanistan or wherever and getting bombs lobbed at his base every night for 6 months. Coming home with a healthy body is a lottery. My husband loved being on tour, but I had a lot of nightmares while he was away, and it would have been even harder if we’d had children crying because they miss daddy / getting triggered by news reports, etc.
There’s a reason DH left 🤷♀️
Whatever you decide, I wish you the best. If you’re 20 and love to party, want to be a sahm and can’t afford a house, then the forces life may be a fantastic choice for your family. If not… Be very careful what you agree to give up.
The military may be his dream, but there are other good choices he can make - and you get to have dreams too.