Hey, hope this is allowed but I’ve been Googling like mad to find some kind of UK military girlfriend support space or stories of people in Britain going through deployment for the first time. All I seem to find is American resources which have a very star-spangled skew (not dumping on their patriotism). The blogs I’m reading feel more like the US has a 'military lifestyle' culture which doesn't really translate in the UK (happy to be corrected if wrong).
My partner, H, was unexpectedly deployed after deferring studies and this whole army thing is completely new to me as when we met he wasn't full-time. For context, we are unmarried, have no children, and were not living together prior to him leaving.
Inspired by another forces girlfriend's helpful blog post linked in this slice of MN on coping with deployment (hey @Survivingasamilitarygf if you're reading! :) ) I thought I’d throw in my two pennies worth of what to expect as an army girlfriend / partner in the UK going through a first deployment. I can’t be the only one desperately scouring the web for a place to help stumble through this bonkers period of my partner's working life.
I don’t know much but I think if you're married to your service person and, or, have a family you might be able to travel with them depending on the operation / have a bit more structure of comfort from the military if you stay at home. Childfree girlfriend and boyfriend relationships don’t seem to be really recognised (have seen the phrase ‘just a girlfriend’ chucked about on some old milspouse forum threads 
) in the same way, but from what I understand the MOD is slowly crawling into the 21st century with new cohabiting rules for couples in LTR introduced in 2019.
H and I are close to a month into deployment (six weeks apart because of pre-flight COVID quarantine) but this is what I've picked up so far, in no particular order:
Schedules change all.the.time.
Dates, timings, placements - I have had to dig really deep and go with the flow in terms of plans, which pushes against my overly organised personality! It feels like sometimes the left hand does not talk to the right hand in terms of military operational logistics. Our time together pre-deployment was cut short by two weeks as his leaving date suddenly was moved forward. This felt catastrophic to me as it meant he missed my birthday and instead of 14ish days of making the most of being with each other, it was all crammed into any day we could get. However, this is his current chosen job and the nature of it will always come first, just try not to take a change of plans as a personal affront to your specific wants (a small self-pity wallow is allowed 
). For us, the new date happened all so fast which meant I pushed myself not to marinate in my sad disappointment for too long as we felt it was important to focus on creating happy memories before he left. The silver lining from my perspective was the sooner he goes, the sooner he'll come back. Hopefully. Fingers crossed.
The military
I am not from a military family (bar a granddad and a great-granddad serving distant stints in Korea & WW1 that I know of), nor do I live near a military base, have any friends or friends' partners in the forces. My life had been directly untouched by the military until I met my boyfriend. He left the army full-time sevenish months prior to us getting together, but continued as a reservist locally and started a course to help his career beyond the army. I thought "great", in the first flushes of our romance, "I didn't want to date someone who might get posted away from me at the drop of a hat and it's nice he has a hobby.".....Anyway, being with him has really shined a light on my naive ignorance regarding the armed forces. Asking him questions about his job, what he's done, how things works, and what Sandhurst was like has genuinely broadened my limited perspective towards the armed forces. Also, you can look up what deployment operations the MOD is currently running on their publicly available website and learn a little more about it, which I thought was interesting.
You & your own lovely life
I would say this is probably the most vital patch of green grass to water while deployment is going on. I was single for years before H and feel very strongly about curating my own life outside of being in a couple so I find slipping into a 'me' mindset easy, but I know it can be hard for some. Make your life as full and exciting as possible with things to do (lockdown be gone!), setting goals, and looking after you. Brunch with pals? Book it now. Want to get into running? The couch to 5k app is brilliant. That tourist attraction you've always wanted to visit but they didn't? Go see it, moaning partner-free. Feeling brave? I promise you there is nothing that feels more glam and sophisticated than playing the mysterious, but well-dressed, 'table-for-one please' diner eating alone in a busy cool restaurant. Working on you and your life will not only help your separation go by faster as your calendar gets busy, but it gives you stories to talk about with your partner when you catch up, increases confidence in doing stuff alone (very sexy), and you’ll feel happier overall which will make them happier (unless it does the opposite then run. Red flag! Red flag!). With all that being said though, give yourself grace when those feelings of missing them bubble up. Yesterday I did not pine but today has been tough, despite taking my own advice by having a socially distant coffee date with a pal I hadn’t seen since the panny-d started.
Keeping the relationship alive
Bit rich coming from me as we’re only just out of the deployment starting gate, who knows what could happen in three months time! The easy answer here is to get creative and make the most of what technology has to offer in terms of exciting your partner (two-way street though, make sure you are getting yours!). However, the hot and heavy stuff is one facet of a relationship, incorporate other fuzzy coupley things like a virtual date night if possible, sending care packages, and maybe going old school with writing letters to each other. I’ve done two of the things mentioned so far and it’s going okay. Might report back with more ideas.
Communication
Goes without saying to stay in touch. H and I have made a pact to get in contact every day, even if it’s just an emoji (ahh, modern love). I’m busy, he’s busy, we’re on different working schedules (although thankfully only one-hour time difference), and his wifi isn’t always great. I don’t expect to be chatting on the phone with him for hours before bed or constantly messaging throughout the day. At the moment, we’ve struck a communication balance we’re both happy with, chatting every other day on the phone and then every other phone call a video chat. But this could all change further down the line so we’re open to keeping our communication frequency as fluid as possible depending on what we’ve each got on our respective plates. One tip I will impart is to make phone calls over messaging your primary form of communication (sorry to Gen-Z readers recoiling in disgust). Tone of meaning gets lost in text, and hearing your partner’s voice, laugh, sighs, word inflexions, even (non-COVID) coughs will bridge the physical gap just a smidge more. A voice note would be a good compromise if the immediacy of phone chats are too cringe.
Post
I had no idea there’s a British Forces post office until a few weeks ago. Did you?! It’s like a whole hidden world (except it’s not actually hidden) I had no idea existed which transports your beautifully written letters and thoughtful care packages to your service partner on deployment sometimes FOR FREE. Subject to whatever operation they’re on and the size/weight of what you’re posting you can send stuff for nothing. This gov website www.gov.uk/bfpo is really helpful (obvi there are restricted items, take a good look at that), so go get that BFPO number from your honey and treat yourself to a pretty personalised letter set.
Trust & honesty
To be transparent, the trust in our relationship could not have been in a worse place the week before H left for pre-deployment quarantine. Crossed boundaries and lies by omission on his side came to a head literally days away from his departure. I flip-flopped on whether or not to end it with the deployment serving as a clean cut, break it off while he was away while maybe being open to us getting in touch when he came home, or stay together taking each day as it comes and slowly build trust back up again. At the moment I don't regret going for option C but it's early days yet and I could be kicking myself come the other side of summer. It's no secret the military has a reputation for being rife with infidelity on both parts of a couple navigating an armed forces job somewhere in the mix, but a shitty person is a shitty person. An occupation does not define someone’s behaviour IMO, their actions and character do. I’ve chosen to be with H so I am choosing to trust him and vice versa. With that trust comes an expectation of total honesty from each of us to the other, e.g. rationally voicing if we are feeling a little neglected or telling them an ex popped over to say hi while you were out with mates etc. Nonetheless, I get there’s a fine line between honestly expressing stuff going through your head which a partner would hear almost day-to-day and not consistently being a mopey gloom and doom voice on the end of the line every phone call. Also going too far in the opposite direction suppressing feelings with an “I’m finnne” sounding like Maria von Trapp riding a sugar high probably not the best either. I’m waffling now, but point is to trust your partner and be honest to reinforce that trust. As simple as it is, you can’t stop someone from hurting you regardless of relationship seriousness and dealbreakers put in place, so no point worrying about hypothetical what-ifs if they haven’t happened.
I'm probably going to keep adding to this thread as new stuff crops up over the next five months and 1 week. Would love to hear anyone else's tips and advice who has been there and got the many deployment T-shirts!