I want the funniest answers you can think of

[vintageteacups]

Okay - so let's imagine that we're posted to the same place as one of the 'royal' officers (ifkwim)

Give me your ideas for funny one-liners on meeting them on camp .

For example, DS would probably say:
"would you like to come to our house for tea - mummy will make toad in the hole and we've got a cushion with a crown on it for you to sit on"

whereas I might say (whilst running my hands through my hair and trying to look my best)

"OMG I'm can't believe it's really you" or some other embarrassing thing like that.

I know someone that told a Royal Officer off for not saluting them in Afghan he said he wouldn't have done anything if it had been anyone else but just couldn't resit it.

Personally I would probably say something like "wow I met you great gran once, don't remember it though I was only 2 days old"

My DD would probably say "don't think you can get away with anything around here just because of who your gran is" she is very into earning respect not just being given it right now.

My DSs would say "want a game of rugby" as that is what they say to all men

I'd probably start babbling about Thrift shop opening times and how to get a car pass with minimal faff..babble, babble . in reality DH would be trying to keep me and my republican mouth away from them!

Think my Dh would try and keep me away too - I get quite starstruck!
We live near one of the Eastenders cast and I regularly see him in town - I always say to myself I'll strike up a conversation but I never do - I always walk straight past and hope he doesn't notice me staring at him.

I've got one! In convo to wife perhaps you could mention that the station barber is really very good and perhaps her DH should try him. Gosh that was rude wasn't it! Just the kind of thing I'd say. I think a tour with the Royals would have to be an alcohol free one for me. I have form.

Hmm - me too. So do you reckon a 'come for tea at our house' invite would be accepted then?

Well it would have to be supper, you would need to clear all the kiddie crap off the dinning table and get the best dinner service out from wherever the removal men thought to put it (probably in the airing cupboard or outside shed). But if your DH had influence on his career then why not . Wonder what the station commander is thinking, bricking themselves given that granny does employ them both and he has to be nice, yet still wonder if a Royal officer ever gets a shit mid year or ojar

"oh fuck, please tell me you don't remember when we met before"

what did you say snap?

or can't you say ?

I told one of them that the other was the most boring person I'd have had the misfortune of talking to all day and that he was much more interesting and (in my drunken eyes) quite sexy. Brother #1 was standing within earshot and I was talking quite loud.

I once said "Hi, I'm LtEve, nice to see you again. You know, your dad is now my official claim to fame - it's his fault I'm pregnant"

(V long story short - Met 'dad' at official event. During smalltalk he asked if DH & I had any children. I said 'Gawd no, we're off to Iraq in a month, can't even contemplate anything like that'......Found out later that evening I was pregnant (had no idea).

LtEve that's even better/worse than mine. I wonder if they had a panicked moment thinking there was a little half-Royal running around!

Snap, His shock was superb to see, but we both quickly dissolved into very giggles and when I explained he was crying with laughter (to the consternation of the boss, who came rushing over to see what the hell I was doing).

Same him later on the same evening in the pub and chatted for about an hour (whilst DH was chatting to his BGs) and he said he'd phoned his dad and told him!

Classic LtEveDallas but snap beats it for me! So which was the most boring (I assume you're talking about the younger brothers, not C, E and A?

When I met the younger one in the corridor of power I had 2 mugs of coffee in each hand, he asked which one was his, I answered him with bring the biscuits and I'll make you a brew!

A really nice chap he came back with ginger biscuits and even walked my dog around the car-park!

must.not.read.this.thread

DP moving in with one of them in May

cue gigantic faux pas from me set up by you all

now seriously, dont encourage me (giggles)

Yy the younger ones! Would not be describing C, A or E as 'quite sexy'. Ick.

Not telling which was which as that would expose my drunken taste in men and open me up to endless ridicule

Ooh - lktoday - wonder if I know you?
The younger one LK will be living right near us too - wonder if I know you?

LK - so do you think he'll be living in the mess or in a quarter on camp? DH reckons they might give him a 3 bed house, like the padre would have.

I then might have to pop round for a cup of sugar

vintage you wont know me but may know DP, we'll be moving into MQ's near you in Jan - DP been there since Sept in the mess in the week, but we have a flat where i live full time currently. Having said that, im currently 8 +3 with first child and if the ante natal care gets any worse here we could be going for a quick marriage and a move to your part of the world .....am quite pleased you've fessed up actually, i am TERRIFIED about it all, MQ's, 'army wife' etc etc - any pointers?!

Oooooh - I'm so excited now..

Okay - might PM you.

Lktoday5 ooh def move near vintage if you are expecting she was very supportive during my pregnancy even "remotely" over internet !

Ah - thanks mrssnaplegs. I think she move there too - nicer thena 4.5 hr commute! My dh is currently doing the 1hr 3/4 commute and that's a nightmare so I cannot imagine 4.5 hrs!