Security issues

[MrsSnaplegs]

I have been thinking about the potential for a more secure way for us to communicate openly without the risk of compromising our own or spouse's security. I would love to be able to talk freely on here but can't. I didn't want to hijack luciemules thread so thought I better start a new one for ideas etc on this.
I think our options are
1 using the message poster tool and pm each other but not sure how that really works
2 set up a secret code but suspect that will not survive long!
3 ask for a locked down area of site but the big question there is how to police access to it - I am sure it wouldn't be hard to fake info for access to it

Does anyone have any ideas?

How many of us regularly use this thread? Am I the only one "in" and not a "wife of" or are there more lurking out there?

Good post!

I'm not sure what the answer is, and will have a think about it. Personal messages would work for specific queries, but it's not exactly a discussion.

There are def other serving people out there OP. I am ex-serving, but Dh is still in.

I don't think MNHQ would want a 'secret' area of the site (even if it is for good reasons) as it kind of goes against the ethos of the site.

Perhaps keeping the discussions relatively unidentifiable (where it is important) and PM each other if we want to discuss particular issues.

Yes I think NY's idea makes sense.
I think I should be more secret in what I say. I would name change and then post but haven't worked out how to do it yet.....after being a MNtter since about 2004!

We could request something that doesn't come up on the search engines like the new area of the site they have put in. It would be nice to be able to communicate a little more openly, the poor ladies on the ante natal group I am on have to listen to me whinge about some of the issues we are currently having - eg housing, with no understanding of why we are having such issues abnd no idea of how to support as I can't publicly slate the company housing association! Agree the private messaging idea is probably simplest for specific queries and still allows some anonymity

what's wrong with the Forces sweethearts thread?
Do you know how to namechange snaplegs? I can't find how to do it???

How do I change my nickname?
Go to your registration page here - log in and then you can change your nickname by typing in a new one where your old one is listed. Don't forget to save the changes. Please note that while we allow nickname changes for anonymity, we don't allow changes for malicious purposes

This is from the FAQ section of useful stuff - I'm still not sure whether this changes your name on your old posts as well or just future ones and I would probably want to be my old name elsewhere on here as I am just really starting to get to know people. the other thing is although you can anme change surely it just links to your old profile?

One option would be to set up a google mail type email address and register a second time under a different name but that is far too complicated for me

Sorry nothing wrong with Forces Sweethearts thread - only thing I have found is it has been quite quiet the times I have been over here before

I'm always checking the 'FS' thread; it's a bit lonely not living on a patch - we're in our own house and DH commutes.

Hmm about the name change thing - too much hassle then really especially if it still links to your profile!

I'm not on any other forces wives websites - mumsnet so easy to use.

I really dont think we need a sep area, or a secret one. We should all have enough sense not to post our addresses is all!

Unless you are using your real name, and post your real address rather than just saying 'Catterick' then I do not see what could be gained from someone logging onto this site.

Although, on the other hand I have seen a couple of postings previously that give the date of a certain function and the place - THAT should be stamped out....

We just all should be a little more cautious with what we post - I'm serving and it comes as a matter of instinct for me - but I understand that it wouldn't for others.

Name changes don't automatically link to your profile.

Multiple names are a PITA - I had one for my ante-natal thread when I was keeping it quiet but I couldn't be bothered with the fiddle of changing between times so I never went on it. I really ought to go back now I don't mind people knowing as I wouldn't have to namechange every time I wanted to post something!

A secret area wouldn't work as it would still be policed by mumsnet so there is still the potential for security breaches.

At the risk of sounding cynical there will always be an issue with security as there is no verification of identity/background for members. I would be very wary of being too open and personal unless you have met face to face and know someone's identity for definite, no matter how long they have been posting and how credible they may seem.

Not sure how to do it but would love to do it! I am really lonely and feel that I am being disloyal to mention to DH. We have had lots of injuries and death - seems a bit shallow to be talking about being ignored at coffee morning :(

married to a good un - post what's happened on another thread or message me if you like. You don't sound very happy at the moment - it definitely sounds like you to chat about it. We'll listen

mn do have sub-areas i think (there was a cawks thread that wanted an area they could identify each other - they went to fb i think, but i'm sure i heard along the way that mn had introduced some secure 'by invitation only' areas...) am i wrong?

i namechange a lot anyway (was madwomanintheattic for ages) since the fb/ twitter buttons were installe.

don't know why i bother - if anyone does know me in rl it would be really really obvious who i was with only about three facts, none of which i shut up about.

and ex-serving.

Nickcoftime - it seems like you and madwoman are two completely different people . name changing completely changes the person you thought you were talking to. Funny hey?

What's that about fb/twitter buttons - why is that less secure?

it's not really - but i spend a fair amount of time on the sn board, and it was just after the dm hoo-ha with the 'on mn this week' thing. lots of us on the sn board with recognisable circs (only gay in the village ) and i don't like the fact that someone could look up everything i've written on here in the last three years or whatever just because they happened to get a link to a thread i was on and recognise some of the circs. (it's the mn equivalent of changing your route to work... makes no difference at all really)

not that i'm particularly obnoxious () or even that interesting...

and like i said, i'm really bad at it. there are threads where i've listed all my usernames and i still get spotted even when i've got a shiny new name and can't ever remember chatting to the person before. i think it's the sn link - it makes you stand out like a sore thumb and there is the feeling that at least one part of your family is always a bit more vulnerable to, well, everything really.

i keep threatening to ask mn towers if i can have madwoman back.

We could ask for a section of the board - but as long as we don't identify our real names/addresses etc, I think this is OK.

I think as long as we're relatively vague about our circumstances, then we should be OK, shouldn't we? Like luciemule, I'm living in our own home while the husband commutes and I miss some of the camaraderie that comes from being on a patch.

This is the only site I really post on - I have no accounts with facebook or twitter etc and we're generally very careful with our info online.

Luciemule - thank you the problem is so much of the stress is welfare which has to stay confidential as it is about other people. We seem to have lots of little empire builders here - all wearing husbands rank or plotting to getting him to next rank. Quite funny when we go to mess as everyone talks to us as a couple but go to a coffee morning - hmm strangely silent. Having said that one of the new wives has started a book club which is very good and have met some nice people there.

Marriedtoagoodun - sorry you are having rough time at the moment, especially if you are finding some people anti social. Feel free to message if you want someone to chat to and luciemule isn't free.

marriedtoagoodun - sorry to hear you're finding it tricky with some of the people where you are. Feel free to message me too if you like. I have never understood why wives do that. Hope you've met some nice people too.

I always (when I'm not in my own house) go out of my way to pop in to a newbie's house with a plant/flowers/chocs etc to say hi, introduce myself and offer any support if they need whilst settling in. It took me a lot of effort to do at first as I'm really quite shy but I know that it's appreciated. How long have you been where you are?

Luciemule and Mrssnaplegs - will message tomorrow as think it will be an 'interesting' day and will need to offload!! Thank you both. We have been here four months - four very long months...

Marriedtoagoodun feel free to message I am around all day as working from home. We'll help where we can

Sometimes the days can drag so if you're not enjoying your posting. Am also around all day to help if need be. I could cheer you up with some of the horror stories from DHs sqd command!!