STUPIDO recipes in kids cookery books

[FolornHope]

to celebrate becoming a " free reader" ds brought home a book. it is the most stupid cookery book in the world.
GUESS the kids recipes cliches therein pliz

Re the daddycool thread... Why were all the posts by cod withdrawn? Was it ak in disguise?

Oh god stupidly bought ds1 one of those cheapo inthe garden centre kids' recipe books and he bloody loves it. Stupid biscuits in shapes of dog faces and jelly with liquorice bootlace hair. We've made a couple of things and it was all so sweet that even DS1 couldn't eat it. Was like cartoon when they smile and all teeth shatter. Sandwiches cut in shape of animals etc. FUCK OFF.

Not as bad as the Miriam Stoppard book I had when ds1 was little ( note ds1 = PFB) I was supposed to make an omelette by first boiling and cubing a potato, individually julienning various different coloured veg and cooking separately, making omelette into stupid cats face, halving a pear, turning it into a mouse to sit beside the cat and after all that, the little fecker still said:
"I doh likit"

omfg chipmonkey

you had pfb BAD

I did!
I also drove into Dublin city centre shortly before Christmas in MAD traffic to visit a speciality Italian shop to buy

oh you poor poor thing

I know. But I am cured now. I had 3 more children.

lol at baby pasta

i love this thread

it reminds me that being entirely slack and just chucking some of our meal onto our daughter's plate doesn't always make me a bad person.

mushrooms with egg bits as spots

hahahahaha

I am so relieved to find out people don't actually do all these fiddly, wanky children's cookbook recipes.

you can rely on me uqd

Although the Poppy and Sam cookbook is good. It has stuff they can actually do themselves. I can't remember the proper name of it - you know, the one with those two children out of the Usborne Farm tales.

oh yes with the single mother.
well i hope she is feeding em turkey twizzlers.

Nigella wins I think for children's food of insanity.

Slime soup (made of peas, and with mozzarella to make it stringy). To be served in pumpkin natch.

Blood clots and pus. Rasberry jelly (blood clots) jelly made with milk pus. Scrudged up with fingers and mixed in bowl.

Witches hair - linguine with squid ink. Who other than Eaton Square residents are going to give SQUID INK to KIDS. Or linguine for that matter. Give 'em spaghetti out of a tin

Plus a recipe for blended marmite sandwiches.

Now I love Nige but she is mad.

There is a Mr Poppy-and-Sam but he is a farmer so is always out on is tractor while the mother does the homely stuff like baking.

Now I DESPERATELY want one of Nige's kids t do an expose interview a la Nancy Reagan's daughter saying 'mum never cooked for us, she always had luxury foods for herself but we ate battered sausagses from the chippie or frozen admirals pie for tea'

no there isnt
there is some old farm hand
not a dad

Nigella has already screwed her kids up good and proper by forcing them to eat blueberry pancakes as part of a staged sleepover, so that the closeness of the mother/teenage child relationship is demonstrated in a really true-to-life sort of way.

DS3 has the Usbourne Book of Making Sweet Shite. They all look like sweets from a fairytale house and about once a month he pleads with me to invest in a ton of sugar, and then they taste disgusting and we bin them. What's the point of a Peppermint Cream, anyway?

UQD, I can't be having with separate meals for children at all, frankly. I'm not going to the effort of cooking an extra meal for one short person who, yesterday, rejected ham and cheese pizza on a whim.

She waits till I've cooked for the family, she eats with us, if she doesn't eat I don't really mind because I'm necking the wine since I'm too busy enjoying a family meal.

goid i feed mine seperately. dont want to be confined to their varying fussinesses

I have never cared about cooking different things for different people tbh.

If DP and DD want something different from me, they can have it, i am in the kitchen cooking anyway. Life's too short to care. Plus Dstepson is a vegan, so have to cook him something completely different anyway.

There is a farm hand called Ted but there is also a Mr Boot. He just doesn't feature as much. I really like those books for "This is Mrs Boot, the farmer.." not the farmer's wife, thank you very much!

Oh yes, I was meaning cooking children's recipes as a special "fun" holiday activity, not routinely as part of the week! They'll have what they're give and like it on a school night!