Blaardy lunchbox police at ds's school. Tomorrow I may lamp them.

[DrNortherner]

Every day ds get his packed lunch inspected by an 8 year old year 3 pupil who makes a list of how many healthy items are in his lunch, she inspects the whole class and makes a list for the teacher. God knows what the teacher does with this info, I need to find out.....

Today this was his lunch
REAL chicken breast sandwhich on a white roll
ASDA cheese dipper
Yoghurt
1 x Plum
Slice of swiss roll
Bottle of water.

It was deemed his plum and yoghurt were the only healthy items in his lunch.

FWIW his outdoor games teacher is about a size 24 and shouts orders whilst sitting on a bench. Is anyone inspectin her lunch?

Grrrrr.

dear god tell me this is a wind up?

yeah but even cornflakes have more salt than a handful of olives....

Hilarious thread -- roffle @ MadamDeathstare's DD.

Wonder if the lunchbox cops will still be operational when DCs reach school age. The very thought of jumping through hoops to escape their censure exhausts me.

Wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong! Give 'em your worst NL

or even DN

Yes, she just writes a list og how mnay healthy items per lunchbox, so ds scored 2 today.

Of course I will very politley ask the teacher to elaborate on what ds has told me before I go any further. My ds is 8 also and is unlikely to be confused about this.

He said Rebecca counts how many healthy items is people lunches and gives the list to Mrs Jones. He has no idea what Mrs Jones does with the list. When I asked REbecca who (just in case the school had appointed a dietician/nutritionist) he said "Rebecca xxxxx from our class, you know the one who talks funny and has an older brother who is in the same cricket club as me"

complain loudly and tell them to stop immediately

a child checking another child in their class

disgusting on many fronts

After working all the easter holidays and not having had time to get shopping in over the weekend I found myself on the monday morning thinking I would treat my ds with a packet of crisps and a couple of chocolate biscuits in his lunch box as I had no bread and had given him cream crakers instead of sandwiches (along with fresh fruit, raisins and yoghurt I might add). He had swimming that day and I was worried he wouldn't have enough energy and I didn't have enough time to cook some pasta salad and let it cool, (which is what he usually gets when I have no defrosted bread).

I was shocked when he came home saying he'd eaten everything but the 'junk'. That's not a word he's ever heard at home. He regularly moans at me because I rarely let him have-- send him in with crisps, even before we had a leaflet saying children should not have more than 3 packets a week. He told me the dinner lady had called it junk and made him feel guilty about eating it!

I told him exactly what to tell the dinner lady next time. Not that there will be a next time, because like I said he rarely ever gets crisps anyhow!

is the idea that every dc in the class gets a turn at being lunchbox inspector so that they get some practice defining what is and what is not healthy, so they think more about what food they eat generally?

not that I approve

start putting joke items in. in little tupperwares, neatly labelled for the inspector's benefit: cold snail porridge, carrot toffee bombs, frog-meat sandwich, oxtail tart, mackerel flavoured angel delight.

rofl hatwoman

that could be a LOT of fun

swordfish and physalis kebabs with buttered whelk tapenade

The tupperware jokes is a brilliant idea. Make sure DS is in the know.

Cheeky fuckers
I am in near permanent simmering rage (see threads passim0 at wanton waste of public money on expensively produced leaflets stating the bleeding obvious which people either know or don't know but certainly are not the kind of people who would read about it. (IYSWIM)

Today it was some priggish leaflet about 'healthy lunchboxes' which, according to my children are given to kids who pass muster. They both got one so i presume I was one of god's chosen 9in which case, why send me an effing leaflet to tell me what I know)

My kids seem to think it is some sort of award/certificate.

I love the staff at my kids' school and don't blame them but sinister nationwide 'initiatives'. I do enjoy poncing it up a bit (knowing they consider me rather odd) and am going to crank it up from level of smoked salmon sandwiches and the cassoulet of last week.

So this week... barbecues ribs with star anise and soy and a few squares of v posh chocolate. Perhaps a salade nicoise in near future?

this with a note that says please put all the food in my tummy

dh suggests taking it a bit further:
half a pound of lard
20 lambert and butler

I sent a dingle individually wrapped square of good chocolate in with ds2 on his birthday, in his lunch

the plebby little cuntbubble of a dinner lady took it off him and told him to tell Mummy that if he wanted chocolate in his lunchbox, Oreo cookies would be OK

But that's nothing on the time I sent in an orange for his fruit snack (I was out of all other fruit and we were late)

he came out at hometime bearing a huge scowl and the orange with a fucking post-it attached saying "could Shortsleeve please have his oranges cut up in future"

Oh God, this sort of thing makes me want to gouge my eyes out.

My DS gave me a lecture the other day about the evils of sugar and how it makes people fat. Apparently this came from one of the teachers at preschool.

So far, we have avoided the word "fat" in our household (no mean feat, I can assure you) and I have taken the "everything in moderation" approach to food. In particular, I haven't labelled things as good or bad foods. This has resulted in a child who merrily eats his greens and fruit because noone has ever mentioned that this is something "good" for him or that she "should" eat.

Give him a year in reception class and I imagine the joyless sods will have put paid to that.

So many things are so depressing here but at the moment I think I am most depressed by the fact that so many people in positions of authority seem not to understand basic principles of nutrition. Especially as they apply to children.

Low fat does not equal healthy. In children it equals unhealthy. And actually for adults processed low fat food is crap as well.

As a teacher, and a size 24, I am quite upset by some comments on here that I am not a good role model for children.

Can only thin people be good teachers?

Should you be measured at interview stage, or your first day?

What would you suggest?

OIh FGS Mermaid, it's not about you personally.
The point is,in a country where a great many people are overweight, what moral authority does a lardy teacher have to preach to me or my kids on health and weight and fitness?

Bog off, the lot of ye.

None of my business what size the teachers are. And no-one should be making it the school's business to pass judgments on packed lunches.