Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Food/recipes

For related content, visit our food content hub.

Original poster

"I don't like this" ... rant to follow ....

86 replies

Millie1 · 02/08/2005 14:01

I am so so sick of hearing those words from DS1 aged 3 and 3/4. Every blooming night, it seems like no matter what I put on the table, I hear those 4 words before he even tastes it. Then there's a full-blown row because he won't eat it. If it's a stage it's just getting worse by the day.

Meals refused/picked at in the last week inc ... where do I start? I'll work backwards from last night - sweet 'n sour chicken and rice (new recipe from Jeanette Orrey's bk); lamb shanks & potato and parsnip mash (another new recipe for us); sausage casserole and mash; pasta with jar of tomato & basil sauce (lazy night!); pasta bake; chicken wrapped in bacon with mash and veg ... I could go on but you get the picture.

He's getting plenty of variety but refuses just about anything. Yes he's probably getting enough through breakfast and lunch but he's a lean little chap anyway and I'd rather fatten him up than have his ribs stick out any further.

Any words of wisdom or ideas? I've tried the naughty step, taking his dinner away, telling him to leave the table and come back when he's hungry, withholding pudding (no more excting than a yogurt), not giving snacks between meals .... now I'm just pulling my hair out. Worse still, his brother is a great eater but is getting to the age where he's following his big brother's example.

Thanks!

OP posts:
topaz76 · 03/08/2005 15:20

thanks for your advice - i'll try not feeding her. It usually results in pushing the bowl away as hard as she can and then standing in a bit of a strop. I'm upset she doesn't try anything at nursery either. The nursery are no better - they ask her 'you wouldn't like your lunch would you'
it suits them for her not to eat and i'm paying for this privledge.
I may try less porridge so she's a bit more hungry at 12pm and i'll give her breakfast earlier.

mummylonglegs · 03/08/2005 15:54

Message deleted

Original poster
Millie1 · 03/08/2005 21:06

What a lot of posts today! Thanks everyone for all your advice and comments. I'm trying not to make a 'meal' of it but really when it's the third night on the trot that he's refusing dinner, well who wouldn't get p'd off? We have had a few new dishes this week but only because, with the exception of sausages, he won't eat what I would call fail-safes. Anyway, he did eat most of his dinner tonight, with no prompting (infact, I was so busy with his brother that I just ignored him) and told me it was lovely . It's reassuring to know that there are a heck of a lot of other children out there causing their parents similar grief.

I can't remember who said it but I agree entirely re Annabel Karmel! DS1 got AK recipes all the time and is a crap eater, DS2 gets what we eat and leftovers and is much better - touch wood!

OP posts:
Bozza · 03/08/2005 22:05

Both DS and DD have been given what we eat. Even though that meant sometimes we ate/eat AK.

bundle · 04/08/2005 09:45

in this month's Eve magazine, Dr Tanya Byron reckons that a small child needs to be given a new food 15-20 times before they'll acclimatise to it and eat it (I suppose she has done the counting!)

Lizita · 04/08/2005 10:13

AK makes me feel like I should be making more effort with food, every time I hunt for a recipe I start feeling tired and stressed.

mummylonglegs · 04/08/2005 14:31

Message deleted

hunkermunker · 04/08/2005 14:35

Can you try putting the food in serving dishes and all helping yourselves? That way he's not presented with a big pile of food that looks v daunting - he gets to choose how much he has and what he eats. It might mean more washing up for a bit, but you might get a better idea of what he actually really likes and how much he's willing to eat?

polly2 · 04/08/2005 20:12

i got the same for months. until she just grew out of it. i give smaller portions and make food fun. also eating in unusual places, such as on a blanket indoors (english weather!!) and she wolf the stuff down. i also don't use teaspoons. table spoons are preferred, since she likes a big mouthful, and it seems less times to say 'come on, have this'. also, i find i went back to basics, ie. just a tomato, and a few carrot sticks, and cucumber and plain bread. got loads of tips for what she likes - and easy to eat. try cous cous (don't follow the packet instructions, just cover the stuff up with lots of boiling water and some cloths on the bowl, wait 2mins) with casserole/bolognaise. good luck.

pabla · 04/08/2005 21:07

Haven't read all the comments but I was a "picky" eater as a child. However, a lot of this was genuine dislikes for certain foods which I still have to this day. In my childhood dinners were of the plain meat, potatoes and two veg type of thing, veggies boiled to death, meat chewy, etc. I don't think my mum was the best of cooks in those days and my grandparents lived with us so she had to cater for their tastes. I can still remember the feeling of facing a plate of food which I disliked and almost wanting to get sick. I still don't like that sort of dinner and prefer my vegetables raw or stir-fried. I used to eat plenty of salads, fruit, raw carrots,etc as a child so I think it was a genuine dislike, rather than being awkward for the sake of it. Also, my appetite only really improved when I left home and started to cook for myself/experience other people's cooking and different types of food.

Because of all this, I probably err on the lenient side with my kids. Dd is a good eater and will eat most things (I put this down to the fact she went to day nursery as a baby/toddler and learnt good habits there!) Ds1 is the fussiest and ds2 is variable. Ds1 is just 4 now and he will try more things now so I think with some kids it is a developmental thing and you have to keep offering new things but not make a big deal about it. I agree with the others who suggested keeping it simple (plain pasta with grated cheese and cucumber/carrot/broccoli or grilled chicken with plain noodles go down well with all of mine) and putting things in serving dishes and encouraging them to help themselves. Also, try to remember they may not share your tastes (like I didn't with my parents). Dd and DS1 don't like peas so i hadn't ever given them to ds2 - I was around my mums a while back and we had peas at dinner and he loved them! Another thing to try is peer pressure - if you know someone whose child is a good eater - invite them around for a meal.

AtHomeMum · 05/08/2005 10:33

what a good thread..

i read somewhere that children have more tastebuds than adults so that spicy/strong food tastes more so to them and bland food is not as bland - so that they do prefer, at first, very simple food.

I think portion size is important and they give up hope of finishing if they get a huge plateful.

After trying lots of strategies I now try & let them eat what they want, but do say they should eat their veggies if they want pudding. I now think that them seeing us eat and enjoy a variety of food is important, rather than worrying about them trying new things too soon. On hols dds (8 & 6) were eating garlic prawns & trading them with dh for mussels - which i never hought they would like!! but they did! dd (4) did not want either.

So I would suggest that with little ones, give them good plainish food, introduce new things gradually with no fuss - ours are asked to always try new things - and let them see you enjoying interesting food. In time I think they then want to try new things.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page