what is the worst meal you have ever been served in a home

[FolornHope]

i mean not a restaurant
and of course you ate it politely and never once said you your h " shit remember the mouldy trifle sponge with evaporatedcream on it" as you are NicE people.

but if you ever had a dark thought ( altho i know its NOT popular on mumsnet atm) let rip here

my ex-flatmate's bbq's.

5 mins after BBQ is lit, still reeking of lighter fluid, and chucked on the almost frozen sausages and burgers ~shudder~

5 people with very violent D&V as a result.

Moron.

Next day he buggered off on holiday leaving bits of cooked me on the dead BBQ - cats were helping themselves. Fcuking gross.

I had two farily odd salads today that are contenders.

1. cooked broccoli cut into tiny pieces, left to go cold and then mixed with chopped red onion and mayonnaise.

1. salad leaves, lots of coriander, chopped wlanuts in a dish, completely covereed with thin strips of pear and then grated red cheddar cheese on top. No dressing.

Isn't that odd?

I could not have even begun to make that up.

Distant relatives who made:

Turkey and served the giblets in a bag that was still frozen , roast potatoes in lard, cabbage with cold bacon fat and coffee with carnation milk...

Oh, and chicken wings that had been served for the past 3 meals running

It was sooooo bad.

Oh and the dinner party at a friend's house when she served french onion soup, but had added a pint of milk and some balsamic vinegar because she was worried there wasn't going to be enough

There was a fly in my bowl too.

My soon to be ex SIL is a truly hideous cook. When I was fairly newly with DH we went to a dinner party at theirs where she served up a lasanga made with jar sauces and not cooked enough so the lasanga was crunchy, and a tiny amount of mince. Undercooked jacket potatos with no butter accompanied it.

Last christmas we were invited to theirs for drinks and food. I can't eat gluten now, so while everyone else tucked into Icelands finest party snacks, I was given a packet of Morrisons value peanuts.

We cooked some vile things as students, but I plead poverty and youth for that. DH's sardine in tomato sauce toasties smelt vile though

ONly student era horrors really. A mate in those days was quite likely to serve up 'chili-con-carne' which features baked beans and tinned sweetcorn along with the mince. (Though even now I occasionally add frozen corn to 'spag bol' myself).

And my own gastronomic low on a day with no money at all and ravenous - stale digestives made into 'porridge' with Coffee Mate and boiling water. It might have been OK had the digestives not been living next to an air freshener for a week. SO it was 'perfumed' porridge.
I didn't die though.

MILs fish pie- jar of dolmio white white lasagne sauce mixed with bag of frozen prawns and tin of salmon. topped with Smash. and crisps.

none of my mates can cook, but know this and always get scrummy take aways and patisserie. no problem there.

DH is mates with a few couples who can't cook, but really think they can.

a particularly memorable experience was one of those pork joints this. served 4 - between 6 of us.
roast potatoes that were raw in the middle, mushy carrots, peas (birds eye! normal! hurrah!) and no gravy.

pudding was a frozen apple strudel serving 4, between 6.

DH had a kebab and chips on the way home. I delia'd them into oblivion for the return fixture.

What is it with horrible jars of lasagna sauce? It just encourages people to think they're cooking, when they're really not. A ready-made lasagna of a decent quality would be much better than a jar of red sauce, cheap mince, cheap pasta and a jar of 'white sauce', topped with plastic cheddar.

Pasta and Broccoli - just that - but so over boiled it literally fell through my fork - really, i couldn't catch it.

And she was French and said she loved fine wines then served a really dodgy German sewwt wine with it.

Having said that she is lovely and i sucked it all down....

oh gosh i nearly forgot the pasta dish i had in france on french exchange.

plain boiled pasta twists
with

salt.

Worst dinner party food experience was a friend who gave us mince, on its own, as her dh doesn't like onion, tomato, herbs or most vegetables, served with "potato dauphinoise" aka raw potato slices sloshing around in lukewarm single cream and tinned veg.

Yes i went on a French Exchange too (as a teenager) - nothing to do with the food but there were napkins brought out each meal - thing is they were never washed so i didn't know if the mark were from my mouth, my penfriend's mouth or her mum or Dad or Grandad's......
B
O
A
k

P.S. this is nothing against the French here - my fave meal of all time was in France when i sat on a street corner eating Mussels, Chunky Chips and Many, many, Beers .

Findus crispy pancakes, which left me violently sick.

my father's sister used to produce biled beef that was grey and could sole shoes
that was pleasant the smash she served alongside was positively lapped up

A speciality 'paella' in my bedsit so just a microwave consisted of fish in sauce boiled in bag. Add to savoury rice from packet and chuck in some frozen peas. Voilà a sizzling treat.

Just now actually. In my own home and I COOKED IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

To be fair, we had no gas pressure so the joint (which we always have on Boxing Day instead of Xmas day as we've been caught out by lack of gas on the day itself before!) had been in for 3 hours without getting warm and the spuds were still white after an hour. So, I made use of my mum's old electric oven which dh brought into the kitchen and plugged in.

I transferred the joint into the electric and listened with glee as it sizzled nicely and then I turned the temp down, and waited for the spuds.

20 minutes later we discovered the gas pressure had miraculously leapt to, possibly, the highest it's ever been in the entire history of the universe, and the spuds were black. Not only that, but the joint is cooked right through - which would be great except we treated ourselves to beef this year and only dh likes it grey. The rest of us like it very very very very pink.

1000 year eggs. They aren't really 1000 years old, more like 100 days, but they are green. Eggs are not supposed to be green (unless you are Dr Seuss). I don't even like the white-and-yellow jobs.

badietbuddy did you have Christmas dinner at my MIL's?

Every time we go to MIL's for Sunday dinner. Has to be the worst thing. Chicken (serves 2/3 but for feeding 6/7) cooked the Saturday morning so drier than a cracker, carrots, broccoli and cauliflower boiled from 9 until 1, two quarters of potato on everyones plates, except the men who get masses of them , gravy that is basically brown water and yorkshire puddings that wouldn't look out of place at an ice hockey game. And for pudding we have one of those awful £1 frozen cheesecakes from Asda (MIL not poor either). ANd EVERYTHING is always cold when she serves it, despite being cooking for hours.

First time my dad cooked me a meal in his new flat when he split with my mam, it was a Fray Bentos mince pie, smash and frozen green beans. It was disgusting, but ate every last morsel to keep him happy.

MIL's signature dish - beetroot and blackcurrant jelly. I'll share the recipie with you

sliced pickled beetroot, spread over a flan dish, covered with one (made up) packet of blackcurrant jelly, leave to set then slice like a cake.

she often adapts this recipie using the same method but with grated carrot and orange jelly. seriously.

cheese fondue.....blergh....

Christ on abike!

Cheese and Cauliflower soup.
I was at the point where it was almost making me gag, then by some pure luck the phone rang and my host went into another room to take the call.
I tipped it down the sink and quickly grabbed the handfuls of big lumpy bits, shoved them in some kitchen roll and stuffed the stinky package in my handbag ready to dispose of when I got home

Worst thing I have ever eaten in my life

A really underdone fried egg served on its own whilst on a French exchange.

And plain boiled mince served with boiled potatoes and tinned peas only at a friend's as a child. The mother had asked in advance if I liked mince, so was quite put out that I couldn't eat it. I was looking forward to bolognese or chilli..

After a full five minutes' consideration, I am still unsure which was worse.