What can I put in school sandwiches that won't kill the children?

[morningpaper]

Ham = bowel cancer
Tuna = mercury poisoning also fish isshoos
Cheese = Too much dairy, breast cancer
Jam = banned

I'm running out of ideas

rat poison?

I got it.
Gravy
Custard
Apple
Banana.

Or all four. Sorted.

you mean you don't make your own lentil and beetroot hummous?

slattern.

hummus.

it won't kill them, but they'll have no friends for farting like trumpets the rest of the afternoon.

lettuce or a carrot

oh btw, I got conned by ds2 into doing sausages (err, yes, hot ones, grilled that morning and stored in flask ) last winter.
He desperately wants hot food but has to have packed lunches because of his food intolerances.
I, on the other hand, amd developing a child intolerance

hmmm warm hummous isn't exactly a proper sandwich is it?

giiglewitch we've been told that hot food in flasks isn't allowed (health and safety)

ffs

You'd better get the school to write a list of what they can have then. Btw, I wouldn't actually recommend that anyone sends sausages in flask a la ds2. Your house stinks of - well - sausage. All day. Bleurgh.

Grass.

sushi from ethically source fish.

i mean how hard it is to pull together some darling little seaweed and fish swiss rolls in a cath kidston lunch box. you have to think outside the lunch box [tinkly laugh]

Home grown organic tomatoes?

Mars bars?

I know!! We've spent ages getting ds1 to eat ham sandwiches to go in his lunches for school - now what?!

Crisps.

Golden Wonder, cheese and onion crisps. Can't beat it.

don't forget you need to stock up on fruit shoots

Fresh air! (so long as you live 100km from nearest B road and not on a flight path)

Peanut butter

I resorted to digging sticky Vegemite out of a jar that's been in the fridge for aeons for their sandwiches tonight. Do the same for yours - they'll love you for it!

Greggs sausage roll inbetween 2 slices of wholemeal bread.

Peanut butter's banned in case someone has an allergy (fair enough), crisps too unhealthy, ditto chocolate biscuits...
beansprouts, anyone?

You mean you're not roasting a joint of beef for their sarnies?

Why is jam banned, btw? Too colourful?

Beef = too much saturated fat.

How about an organic lettuce sandwich? Don't all children love that kind of food?

But what if the organic lettuce had an organic little slug in it? Are children allowed to eat slugs? Surely the slime content is too high?

By a lettuce sandwich, I do hope you are suggesting using lettuce leaves instead of bread! It is bad for you, you know.