DS2 is 9, and an very fussy eater, the kind who will have a tantrum if the chicken is touching the potatoes, or the toast is too brown, so fairly hardcore fussy.
Until recently is was living on a diet of (lightly) toasted bagels, pasta, chorizo (!) and apple juice.
I'm pretty well informed about nutrition, the rest of the family eats very well, very little processed food, meals cooked from scratch, etc.
I have read all the books and tried all the tricks. Nothing worked and it was making life a misery - he wasn't eating enough, it was affecting his behaviour and impacting on his brother and sister.
So I took him to a psychologist, she gave me a strategy, and it has worked. He is trying new foods, and eating better than he has for years, his behaviour has improved imesurably, and our lives have been changed for the better.
I know we are not the only one's experiencing this so I'm going to post it here in the hope this might help someone else
Firstly you, the parent needs to be in the right frame of mind, as the first few days might be tough (although it was MUCH easier than I anticipated) so don't try this the week before your period
Choose a time when the child is hungriest, probably before dinner.
Choose the food you want the child to try, say, carrot.
Before dinner put a bowl of carrots on the table.
Everyone (we choose to do it as a family, for democratic purposes and not to single out the fussy eater) has to have ONE BITE.
That's all just one bite, of course if they like a bit of encouragement might lead them to try more, but go easy, no pushing.
After the bite, you have dinner, but if you don't take the bite, then no dinner.
The parent must stay CALM, if the child doesn't want to try the carrot "ok, if you don't want to try it, that's your choice, but you can't have dinner if you don't take one bite of carrott"
You must be resolute - no carrot, no dinner. BUT it has only come to this once with us. We had a bit of a stand off over banana, but it was pasta for dinner so he gave in eventually (3 hours later)!
So no taste of carrot, no dinner AND no other food until you have had the bite of carrot, so no supper, no bedtime snack, NOTHING until you have had the bite of carrot. YOU MUST NOT GIVE IN. This is hard but IT WORKS!
Say you are trying carrot for Sunday lunch and he won't eat the carrot, so no lunch, well bring the carrot with you if you're going out later, and no ice cream or treats unless he has ONE BITE of carrot.
The psychologist recommended using one food only for a 10 day period, based on the idea that children may need to try a new food 10 times before they accept it. We found that if he liked something, we would then include it as part of his normal diet, and then moved on to try something else.
3 weeks on he is now eating lots of veggies, a little fruit, dishes like risotto and casserole which he would never have tried before.
Because he is 9, I felt it was better to sit down and explain what we were going to do and why, and perhaps that is why it has worked so well.
I know this is long, but I hope it helps someone