I have a joke. It's not really related but this thread made me think of it.
A bloke from Yorkshire goes to the jewellers:
He says, "Can tha mek a gold statue o' mi dog?"
"Aye, reckon ah can," says the jeweller.
"Dost tha want it eighteen carat?".
"Neigh," says the bloke, "I want it chewin' a bone."