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Original poster

Do you cook separate meals for you/dh and the kids?

134 replies

pinkwhistle · 07/02/2005 04:21

Just wondering how many mumsnetters cook something for their children different to what the "grown ups" are having?

I know it is sometimes necessary to modify meals for very little ones, but ds is a bit fussy and also dd has certain allergies I have to be careful of, so I sometimes make one thing for them and something else for us! Maybe about twice a week...

I have a friend with a 6 yr old dd and 2 teenage ds's, and she regularly cooks 3 different things - one for her, one for dd and one for the boys!

Anyone else?

OP posts:
handlemecarefully · 07/02/2005 15:16

Sometimes. Dh and I like it spicy (our food that is!)and it wouldn't be right to inflict this on a baby and toddler!

Kelly1978 · 07/02/2005 15:20

I agree with moondog. The kids eat what is in front of them or not at all, alternatives are nto an option. I wouldn't put something in front of them that I know they don't like, and so I expect them to eat what they are given. I do think that offering alternatives encourages kids to be fussy.

We don't eat together because dp gets home from work late and the kids have to be in bed by 6 but I still make sure they get a healthy diet, and lots of the time they eat the home cooked food that dp and I ate the previous night. This means I don't have to cook twice.

elliott · 07/02/2005 15:25

often. it is logistically difficult to eat at the same time on workdays, when I have literally about 5 minutes to get something on the table for ds's (I get in about 5.45) so they usually ahve something frozen blasted in the microwave and we cook for us after they are in bed.
We do try increasingly to eat together, in which case of course it is the same thing, but it really is a struggle. Even at the weekends its hard for us to prepare a meal to be ready for 5.30.
When do all you folks who eat together manage to a)cook it and b) eat it??

moondog · 07/02/2005 15:40

It must be a bugger to eat together if you have a long commute.
When I was working in Wales, my office was 1/2 mile away from the house and dh worked from home so it was very easy.
Now we're in Turkey and I'm an sahm so that works too. Still,we do a lot of shopping and cooking here. not a lot else to do, especially in the depths of Winter!

HeyEnidYouveLostWeight · 07/02/2005 15:41

whats wrong with sausages and baked beans - not just kids food down our way

zubb · 07/02/2005 15:41

elliott - dh is in by 5 and I work from home, so we can all eat together at 5.30 / 6 depending on what we cook. Means that I can prepare food earlier in the day as well.

moondog · 07/02/2005 15:43

Sorry enid. The very thought makes me retch.

HeyEnidYouveLostWeight · 07/02/2005 15:43

And I don't agree with eat what you are given whether you like it or not - I still remember being made to eat chicken in white sauce when I was about 10. Grim, grim, grim.

My children are not fussy eaters (most of the time) but they have likes and dislikes like all of us - can't believe families of more than three all have exactly the same tastes

motherinferior · 07/02/2005 15:44

One of the great joys of parenthood is the freedom to eat sausages. And (creep creep) Enid's fantastic chicken nuggets.

HeyEnidYouveLostWeight · 07/02/2005 15:47

My kids like corn on the cob and brussels sprouts but we emphatically do not so it works both ways

moondog · 07/02/2005 15:48

No, eat what you're given is a barbaric concept. Remember many horrible lunchtimes at boarding school alone in the dining room with a plate of mince (d bollocks and ears) and mashed 'potato' after everyone else had gone with some witch of a woman bellowing 'Eat IT...NOW!!!' over my head.

HeyEnidYouveLostWeight · 07/02/2005 15:49

lol bollocks and ears, we say bums and eyelids

moondog · 07/02/2005 15:54

Ears and arseholes generally chez moondog. Fancied a change today.dd

elliott · 07/02/2005 16:00

but I don't have a long commute - neither of us drive to work and we are home within half an hour - and its still pretty impossible. Even on days at home and at the weekends we are often out too late to get it all organised in time.
But otoh sometimes its nice to have separate meals because the range of things we have successfully cooked for all of us is quite small. but to be fair the ds's are only 3 and 1.

Freckle · 07/02/2005 16:01

Um, moondog, I don't think you'll find that I suggested you did force your children to eat anything. I merely said that not all children will eat something they don't like even if they are hungry.

And I don't think it follows that fussy eaters have children who are fussy eaters. I am a well known dustbin when it comes to food - will accept virtually everything and anything in varying quantities - but my children are very picky. It's a control thing. I don't believe they genuinely don't like a lot of things I put in front of them - as they often reject it without trying. However, in order to retain the control, they will refuse what they are offered knowing that they won't get given anything else. If they try something and then reject it because they don't like the taste, I may offer something else. However, I do believe that they sometimes condition themselves not to like something as a point of principle.

iota · 07/02/2005 16:25

once again Freckle I find myself in agrement with you - you could be me except I have one fussy eater and one who will try anything.

Last week for example - we had roast cod loin covered in sundried tomatoes and basil, wrapped in parma ham

ds2 couldn't get enough of it - ds1 -"poo what's that horrible smell - that stuff stinks"

Freckle · 07/02/2005 16:43

I have to say that DS1 is a lot better these days, which is due in part to school lunches. DS2 is still very fussy and DS3 just copies DS2 a lot of the time. They were all 3 breastfed until at least 1 year, and I had a very varied diet myself during that time. They were all introduced to different tastes and textures during their first year or so of weaning. So who knows what triggers this tendency?

Hulababy · 07/02/2005 16:47

enid - we have children's food sometimes too. DH is partial to sausage and means, and I have to say I still love fishfinger butties

I feel pretty lucky anyway. DD loves her food and always has done. Tonight she is having salmon and rice, tomorrow is pasta with prawns, and a cottage pie. Yet Thursday night when we have a more rushed night will be fishfingers, chips (waffles for DD) and mushy peas with bread and butty (or maybe egg and chips). Weekends are generally eating out - so she cooses whatever from the menu. Only food she really doesn't like is chips.

I don't really do the eat what you're given. Asd I am the one eating different I don't see how it would be very fair. DD enjoys shopping and cooking with me, she has choices at most stages about what we will eat, as do I and DH. We don't have restrictions of foods, and certainly nothing is banned. Liitle bit of anything in moderation here. Works for us

As I said, I am lucky DD isn't fussy at all.

moondog · 07/02/2005 18:30

Freckle, I know you didn't. I merely wanted to emphasise a point.

morningpaper · 07/02/2005 18:37

Lol Moondog, think yourself lucky not to have had a fussy eater!

I tried the 'eat it or starve' approach to my dd - she didn't eat for two days and had CONSTANT tantrums. Should I have left it longer?

If I don't give her SOME food that she will eat then she is INCREDIBLY tantrummy and I've got no desire to drag a screaming 2 year-old around with me just to teach her a lesson.

On Fridays she is at nursery from 8am - 5pm and quite often won't eat a single thing while she is there.

Her basic diet is bread and butter, bread and butter, bread and butter....

iota · 07/02/2005 18:41

ds1 lived for a week on bread roll, plain yoghurt and fresh pear - we were on holiday and he wouldn't eat anything else from the very extensive hotel buffet.

moondog · 07/02/2005 18:41

I'm obviously a really mean ole bitch mp!

morningpaper · 07/02/2005 18:47

Seriously, moondog, would you just keep refusing them food they would eat?

moondog · 07/02/2005 18:52

Er, yes I would.
Or rather, the way we eat in our house is to put the food on the table so everyone can help themselves.I never dish straight out onto plates.
Therefore there will always be vegetables,rice,pasta or potatoes and some sort of protein and then a free choice from a fruit bowl.
That strikes me as reasonable. My dd will occasionally refuse all of that, to which the rsponse is 'Well that's what's on offer.'

morningpaper · 07/02/2005 18:57

The problem I have with that would be illutrated by this evening's meal, which was a chicken-pie and rice. (Disclaimer: the chicken pie is not my usual fare but I've got morning sickness and I couldn't face cooking...!)

DD would eat the pastry from the chicken pie and refuse anything else.

Basically she zones in on the part of the meal with no nutrients in. We used to have bread at the table but she just ate the bread and didn't eat anything else.

So tonight she ate the pastry and I gave her a bowl of baked beans too because I knew she would eat that...

But if I don't make her SOMETHING that she'll eat then she's up all night because she's hungry and that's even WORSE (just had a week of that on 'holiday').

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