I have just realised that my kids are like feral animals around the kitchen and I have no control over their diet

[Cappuccino]

something needs to be done

they eat snacks

they don't eat their tea

they leave their tea

they scream because they can't have snacks

I told dd2 (3) today that she could have a flapjack when she had finished her bagel

she never even sat down for the bagel she was all over the damn place, then I found her eating a miniature Yorkie that she had found in a box (we never have them, we had them at the weekend for camping and they had been put away)

and her flapjack was in the garden in a flowerbed

when dd1 gets home from school she will get an orange, leave half of it lying around, moan that she is hungry, leave her tea, moan for dessert, moan some more, wander off, and then strop at 6.30 because she is hungry and wants 'supper' (ie biscuits, which we never even have in the damn house)

I can't get them to sit down and eat and I know it is supposed to be a lovely family time but it is like feeding a family of animals they don't stay still and they have their own agenda

and I did everything right we always do family mealtimes we are supposed to be sitting wonderfully around the table talking about our day and being Good Family but they WON'T PLAY NICELY and they are out of control and I do not know what to do

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oh and the 'snacks' - they are like, grapes

they are not like cake or cheese strings

please no-one come on here saying 'don't have junk in the house' there is no junk

there are home made flapjacks and apples

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oh cod feck off

this is some kind of wankery joke right?

dh likes them

we have no wankery

we shop at Asda and Lidl

I must admit, mine are up and down at the table but usually becasue I take the chance to come on here, and they come looking for me.

Decide what it is you expect from your children and tell them this is how it is going to be.

I got fed up with mine wasting food so I insist they eat more of it and they know now if they don't eat all/most of their dinner, they only get 1 pudding.

and I said that as she ran past

screaming 'FLAPJACK' and throwing her bagel around

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one pudding?

people have multiple puddings?

Cappuccino, ds (3.8) and dd (6.5) learned the lesson the hard way... they went to bed hungry once or twice. We still get the occassional 'I want gummi wurms' at breakfast time but that gets countered with 'first breakfast then you can have one or two' and it works... well most of the time ;). Major threat for ds - eat or no milk and for dd - eat or no nintendo ds! I love blackmail

cod it looks so simple written down

but it is just me sitting in the middle of a whirlwind

it is like trying to catch autumn leaves, getting my kids to stay still

and if they are still its because all their energy is going into whining

Yes.

Fruit
Yogurt
Baking

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oh yes, good, I see

in that order?

do you glue their arses to the chair cod?

We are ruthless with ours, they all sit together, no messing around. One meal offered, no substitutes and no bribery.

Eat or be hungry later, your choice. It does work but sticking with it has been hard in the past.

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I just want to shout 'come for tea dds' and it be fine

I want to sit and eat my lunch or my dinner and not have to deal with insanity

I don't want to have to fetch dd2 out of the garden/ her sister's bedroom while my pasta is going cold

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oh cod I wish I was you then

shouting only hurts my throat it has no impact on them

mean cod

dd2 just runs off

she is v fast

dd1 shoves the table away, winding us, and then starts cruising off along the radiator

Stop making the flap-jacks, for starters, as they are obviously not appreciating them.

Give DD1 grapes/apple/whatever, when she first gets home from school ( I assume she is hungry-hungry then?.

Then that's it, 'til tea. No more snacks, just tea. If you don't eat tea, still no snacks.

Yes they will whinge, yes they will prob go to bed hugry a couple of times, but they won't STARVE, and they will probably eat their breakfast properly in the morning.

No idea how to get them to sit down though. Carpet tape?

No need for glue (although tempting sometimes ) just firmly saying it and keep at it.

It is tiring though when the 3 year old jumps up a million times.

dd2 screams

PPIIIIIIINNNNNKKK MIIIIIIIILLLLLLLLKKKKKK

I have given up buyng the pink but still it goes on

DO NOT GIVE IN!!!!!!!

I'm from the eat it or starve school. My kids would live on pasta and pesto every day. I give them what we are having and they sit at the table, they are told if they don't eat it there is nothing else. Puddings?? They get a yoghurt but only if they clear their plate. If after a couple of nights they still haven't finished a meal then I will cook pasta for us all just so I know they are getting something.

When they were weaned onto formula milk I used to give it to them cold - they survived despite the looks I used to get labelling me cruel mother. If out and about I used to feed them food cold. They never refused it then just because it was cold, it made my life easier.