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Original poster

I know this is bad but HOW bad is it?

68 replies

funlovingcriminal · 09/03/2008 14:44

DS(9months) is very distracted at meal times and closes his mouth and turns the other way etc..

The easiest, quickest way to feed him is to put him infront of babyTV and he robotically opens his mouth and we get all the food in quickly and hassle free.

My question is, is this TERRIBLE. Am I a bad Mum? I'm thinking i'll only do this for a while until he's self feeding completely (which he semi does now)

The way I console myself is by thinking 15 mins of TV every day just to get your belly full of nutrients can't be THAT bad?

Ok, I know it's not great but how bad is it?

OP posts:

Aitch · 09/03/2008 14:46

it's exactly as bad as you think it is. you're the mum, it's up to you. what's he like with finger food? do you eat your meals together otherwise?

BreeVanDerCampLGJ · 09/03/2008 14:47

Not a problem, he has got to be your first or you wouldn't even be asking.

mamalovesmojitos · 09/03/2008 14:48

oh goodness flc it's not very bad! at least imo. you do the best that you can do in every situation with a baby. as he gets older i'm sure it'll be easier to keep his attention. dont worry!

aDad · 09/03/2008 14:49

straight to hell I'm afraid

Aitch · 09/03/2008 14:52

ah, okay, seeing as everyone's being super-relaxed about it... i do think it's a bit shit actually. i suppose if you think as food as nutrition alone it's okay but it's not ideal imo. but like i say, you're the mum, you do what you want.

Original poster

funlovingcriminal · 09/03/2008 14:54

Great!(phew) Thanks. Yes he's my first!!!

Aitch-He's very good with toast, raisens and rice cakes which are the things he most likes. If I put a some veg or fruit or pasta on his tray he'll just push it around. So, I stick with the puree..want to make sure he's getting the nutrients.

am feeling better already. What will I be like with 3??? TV all day mixed with playstation!!

OP posts:

Aitch · 09/03/2008 14:55

do you all eat together? is he on formula or bm?

Original poster

funlovingcriminal · 09/03/2008 14:55

OK...was expecting something more like that Aitch!

do you think i should be more pateient??

OP posts:

abigaillockhart · 09/03/2008 14:56

We went through a phase with DS when he wanted the telly on (we used to have one in the kitchen). After a while I would feed him half his meal then do the 'oh no, it's broken' then feed him the rest. Eventually we told him it was permantly broken and removed the TV from the kitchen (I never watched it anyway.)

You already know it's not ideal so just have in your mind ways that you will break the habit but he's very little so don't give yourself a hard time.

Original poster

funlovingcriminal · 09/03/2008 14:58

Formula from 7 months

Very tough to eat together. Problem is DP and I are taking sole care of him. In the week DP comes home and I go to work as soon as he walks in door in the afternoon/evening so we all eat at different times.

OP posts:

PuppyMonkey · 09/03/2008 14:59

Do whatever the heck you like. I know some folk think TV is poison. But 15 mins while he has sommat to eat. Yeah, that's really going to destroy his mind and stunt his growth and make him a serial killer!!

And how can any baby live without In the Night Garden??? Be reasonable!!

Aitch · 09/03/2008 14:59

i don't know, as i say i can understand that it's an expedient way to get nutrients into him but it's so... depressing. like a person in an old folks home being fed in front of the telly.

the nutrients thing wasn't such a motivating factor for me as dd was on formula by 6 months so i knew she was getting her iron etc. apart from that, she had bits of carrot to start off with and then stews, pasta, risottos, general family meals from about 7 months. sometimes she ate loads, sometimes bugger all, but she enjoyed it. for me, that was a big part of my enjoyment, iykwim? but it's horses for courses, this parenting business.

Original poster

funlovingcriminal · 09/03/2008 15:01

yes his mealtimes are seperate. if we ate together we wouldn't have TV on.

OP posts:

Shitemum · 09/03/2008 15:02

We used to play back videos on our digital camera to keep DD1 distracted long enough to shovel it in.
I know the idea should be that if they are hungry they'll eat ut it doesnt always work that way does it?
So long as your DS is eating by himself some of the time I dont see the problem. Beware tho that you may find you are still having to use distraction techniques when he's 5 or 6 yo.
Also I don't agree with TV at mealtimes in general {hypocrite}

Aitch · 09/03/2008 15:03

if one of you is able to eat with him, that should help him to get the picture about what to do with that pasta.
lookinig back, it took us til about 10 months to get up to three meals a day, we took it very slowly (at least in part because we are v disorganised) so i never felt under any pressure to get things moving with her.
not to say that dd doesn't eat her dinner in front of the telly sometimes, of course she does. but every day, i dunno, i wouldn't be that thrilled about that.

Original poster

funlovingcriminal · 09/03/2008 15:04

hey, very true about the formula..I'd never thought about it.

I suppose I think the amount of solids he eats is relative to the amount of sleep he'll have at night which is probably utter bllcks!

OP posts:

Aitch · 09/03/2008 15:07

it's total and utter bollocks. what are you feeding him? carrot and yoghurt and fruit, eh? so, er, what we are told to eat if we're on a diet? and how does your tummy rumble?

filling up on lovely calorific milk is going to aid sleep more than rabbit food...

WiiMii · 09/03/2008 15:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Blu · 09/03/2008 15:10

What you do now does not, ime, prescribe everything that will happen thereafter.

There were times in DS's growing up that he was fed 'like an old person in a home' etc - he also had his nappy changed like an old person would have incontinence pads changed...now (6) he goes independently to the toilet and eats a wide range of food with interest and discernment.

Children chage a lot, especially through toddlerhood, and again after pre-school stage.

ShinyHappyPeopleHoldingHands · 09/03/2008 15:13

My DD used to "need" a dreadful cd of children's songs played to her before she'd eat when she was about 10-14 months. I was pregnant at the time and automatically feel sick when I hear any rendition of "How much is the doggy in the window.." to this day It just brings it all back to me.. trying to get slop down my reluctant child.. .Bleeuurrgh!

Original poster

funlovingcriminal · 09/03/2008 15:24

I tend to agree with you Blu.

I'm a big believer in long lunches chatting (preferably with wine!) and I don't think that a bit of TV now will mean that's the only way he'll eat in the future.I think he's too young at the momnet. Better stop soon though!

OP posts:

Aitch · 09/03/2008 15:32

it's not a question of whether or not it's set in stone, though, it's just a grim way to eat your dinner imo, with no particular interaction other than watching the telly. (it may not be like that, i'm just going on your OP).
no reason why you shouldn't do it every so often when expediency is the priority, but it's a pretty depressing 3x daily norm imo. but clearly i am in the minority...

Kbear · 09/03/2008 15:34

My son was a PITA foodwise and I also fed him any way I could and if that meant the tubbies on the telly so be it. For the evening meal he was up at the table in the highchair with us and no nonsense but I still helped feed him.

Now he is a great big 6 year old that eats mostly everything, his table manners are fine, he eats at the table without complaint, he tucks into brocolli and corn like it's going out of fashion and all is well.

I think don't stress about it is the answer, go with the flow and trust your instincts.

Original poster

funlovingcriminal · 09/03/2008 15:36

it's normally just at lunch time with his big meal. The other meals he has at the moment are smaller and he manages to eat them with less necessity for distraction. I mean silly faces/songs seem to work. I suppose it's just a phase too..like I say until he's completely self feeding and there'll be no telly!

OP posts:

Habbibu · 09/03/2008 15:38

It's not the end of the world, but it's not ideal, and I suspect you're not terribly happy with it, or you wouldn't have posted. I'm with Aitch, tbh - if you can eat together for one or two meals, he'll get the idea quicker, and it'll be fun for both of you, especially if you leave your own plate close enough for a sneaky little paw to grab some! Or share off the same plate. Nothing wrong with you both having a plate of pasta for lunch, say. He will get the hang of it, and then some days he'll eat loads, and some days not a jot.

Have to say, DD slept 10-7 until she was weaned. And she ate for Scotland....

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