He's 2 on friday and not eaten properly for a year!

[willdaisymummy]

Hi
I've not posted on here before but am getting really desperate now!
My son has never been a good eater since he spat out his first spoonful of baby rice at 5 months! Recently it has got horrific. He eats potato, bread, grapes, melon, cheese spread, plain white rice and porridge. Sometimes he'll have peas, sausages, fishfingers and chicken dippers and that is it.
He won't even entertain anything different. I'm so worried about him, he's scrawny and always getting colds plus his poo is sooooooo pale (sorry TMI!)
My hubby, parents, in laws HVs etc etc tell me not to worry but I really can't help it, I lost the plot at dinner tonight, I'd put a tiny bit of swede in his mash (which I hoped would go un-noticed) so he shakes his head pushs the plate away and just says no. As he refused his breakfast and had a tiny bit of lunch I made him porridge which he was asking for and he ate about 2 mouthfuls then refused anymore.
I just don't know what to do now, it's not a fad cause he's always been like this but it can not be healthy. Another problem is I let him get away with murder at mealtimes, I can't encourage table manners etc because he'll just refuse to eat so I let him do whatever it takes for him to eat. I'm at the stage now where I dread mealtimes. He's a lovley, kind, bright little chap who is no trouble at any other time of day.
Please can somone help me!!
xx

Hi there mine is very similar. It does sound like he is getting quite a lot of variety if not quantity. One thing that works with mine is using plates with lots of little compartments and putting a small amount of each food in eg 3 chicken nuggets some sweetcorn a few grapes a baby bel cheese some plain pasta or bread and butter etc. he also loves it if you pack him a lunch box and put a toy or some stickers inside.
Distraction?? talking to him/singing songs -we love fun radio which you can get on digital. Have even resorted to reading stories at the table.
Also try and enrich vegetable and calorie content eg give him full fat cream cheese, butter on bread, cream and sugar in porridge maybe vegetable/carrot juice mixed with apple. mine will eat home made chicken nuggets and fishcakes-bit of a faff to do them for just 1 DC but you can freeze them. Ours will eat bolognese and pesto so we 'hide ' lots of vegetables in those.
We also give ours vitamins and omega 3 mixed with his milk. Keep offering him other stuff even if he says no-if it is all in different compartments he can just leave what he doesn't want. Oh and ours always eats better if there are other children around. Anyway sympathy

Hi There
First of all i can't really offer any practical help in as much as I have no magic solution but I can offer a very similar story and sometimes it helps just to know you aren't alone I have a 2.3 month old dd who like your lo is bright, happy, chatty and very lovely...until the f word is mentioned. And by that I mean FOOD! She has been a nightmare feeder from the minute she entered this world. She was never a fan of milk (later discovered she had an intolerance to it) and not a fan of food either. At this stage she will eat chicken, potatoes, avadoes, brocolli, carrots, peas, mince, eggs, pasta, bread and rice crispies. Not a great variety I'm sure you'll agree but even more frustrating for me is the fact that she has NEVER actually shown an interest in food. She has very good vocabulary for her age but never ever asks for food or suggests she is hungry. My husband and I are both healthy eaters but good food is one of our biggest pleasures in life so can't work understand her disinterest! Just like you, my friends, family and HV all tell me not to worry - that she is getting what she needs. I guess she is too, because her development is right on track and she has lots of energy but she is thin (still has lots of room in clothes for 18-24 months) and like your lo often picks up colds. I can honestly say it is the most frustrating aspect to being a parent. As a mum I just want to feel like I am giving my little girl all the nourishment and goodness she needs to be healthy and content - but she has different plans. I can also completely relate to your concern about table manners - my mother is forever rolling her eyes to heaven and saying she can't believe how laid back I am about discipline when it comes to mealtimes. I know she is right too but quite frankly if chasing my daughter around the house gets two spoonfuls of mashed potato into her then so be it!!! Anyway, sorry to have hijaced your post with a rant of my own but as I said at the start I hope it helps to know you are not alone. I guess all we can do is keep doing whatever we have to in the hope that one day our little ones will wake up with a hungry belly and a wonder for food! Until then I'm trying to stay away from the leftovers and keep a sense of humour...
Good luck xx

Hi,
Thanks for all that, It's nice to know other people are in the same boat-that sounds awful sorry, I don't want to wish it on anyone else. I do pack a little toy in a lunchbox sometimes which he does find funny but he doesn't actually eat the food! I did try to give him a little "buffet" style lunch today but the cous cous, celery and new potatos went on the floor and he ate the sausage roll!!
Having his teds with him and feeding them can help too. I'll try the singing and radio tomorrow, that might just do it, hiding veg just won't do, even blended he can spot it a mile off! We also have a 7 month old daughter who loves her food so far so hopefully the problem isn't genetic!!
What vitamins would you recommend for him??

Plus30
Thanks, it is good to know others are in the same situ...especially the table manners bit, your comment about running around after them to get a spoonful of mash down them really rang true! Tonight I sat him in my baby's highchair with her rattle to play with cos he said he wanted to be in Daisy's chair! It didn't work though! Only annoyed Daisy with her dinner getting disturbed!

Hi wdm we use Abidec with added omega 3 (Boots do it) he either likes the taste or can't detect it mixed with milk or half dilted apple juice.
I think mine would probably chuck cous cous and celery on the floor too! Hey ho-a little at a time -he ate home made meatballs with tomato sauce and plain rice today when he flat out refused to let a morsel of vegetable risotto pass his lips the other day. Picnic with teddy bears sounds like a good tip

my ds isn't a good eater, he's been like this from birth. i tried breast feeding but didn't succeed because he just wasn't interested, tried bottle feeding, but he used to scream and writhe about, he would go days with hardly any milk as a baby. he wasn't weaned until gone 7 months old, as he showed no interest in food until then, wouldn't even open his mouth.

nowadays, he's 2.5yrs, he lives on air, still has a very small appetite, but i've come to accept that is just how he is. other than the eating, he's a sweet, funny, healthy, very happy and popular little boy, albeit small and skinny!

although, at nursery (he goes one day a week), they tell me he eats everything up and has seconds at lunch

he must be hiding it in his socks for the week ahead

My DS is 3.5, he may even have a more limited diet than your LO! Every time he gets ill (and stops eating all together) he knocks another tolerated foodstuff off the list. Until last tonsilitis, after months of trying he started eating pasta worms (spag) and smooth tom sauce with cheese on, not now!

He is under Paeds etc as he does have SN, including Sensory Integration Disorder - not suggesting for a minute that your Lo does - and he has seen a dietician and nutritionist.
I had to keep a food diary for 2 weeks and then they looked at it and said he is getting all the major food groups each day, he'll be alright.

He too has very pale stools. he is 50th+ centile height, below 25th centile weight.

If I try and 'hide' food in something he'll eat he just refuses to eat at all.

I just try to make every mouthful the best it can be...(get ready to suck eggs, I'm sure you've heard it all before)

He'll eat pizza, so I make my own with wholmeal flour I can often 'hide' a tiny veg portion in the sauce if I mouli it to be very smooth.

I make my own organic salmon fish fingers, cut up salmon, roll in egg, roll in crushed cornflakes and fry. You could try the same with chicken dippers.

He loves cooking and helping me and will often try the ingredients - he ate loads of stilton on sunday

We make lots of biscuits/muffins/cakes because then I know it is just pure butter and sugar (plus the other bits).

His main fave is jacket spud, into which I mash lots of butter and cheese - cream if I have it, he'll sometimes eat a huge one.

BUT if you have invested much time and thought into making the something scrummy it hurts all the more when it is rejected.

When I started weaning I bought receipe books and downloaded lots of ideas I spent nights making and freezing meals for him only to get them refused or thrown on the floor. It was ever so disheartening and I must admit I got a bit lazy. Are the salmon fishfingers really as easy as they sound? I'll be at Tescos tomorrow purchasing the ingredients! He does like jacket potatoes but won't eat anything on them (even things he'll eat eg cream cheese!)
What makes it so hard is he won't even taste thing he doesn't like the look of it, he just says no and pushes it away.

WDM, the fish fingers are so simple, I even let him help!

I get 2 plastic (in case he decides to throw them!) bowls matching in shape and put cornflakes in one, stick the other on top and press down. I find this helps keep the mess down! I have just crushed them in my hands, with end of rolling pin etc.

Whisk up 1 egg in the other bowl once crushing cornflakes over.

Cut salmon fillet into whatever size you want, not too chunky/thick as needs to cook through before outside burns.

stick salmon in hot oil in pan (a small splash in bottom) turning onto each side once corn flakes slightly brown, takes a few mins - if you are unsure take one out and cut it in half to check, can go back in if not quite done.

I make homemade chips to go with this for DD or us, but he won't eat them so have to put a few oven chips in as well

good luck!

DS is also very suspicious of new foods, it is a pita isn't it?

My ds has never really 'done' food. He sometimes looks at it as if I am making him eat worms. He is now nearly 7. When he was a baby we had to hold his nose to get him to open his mouth, so we could shove a spoonful of baby food into it.

Our breakthrough came when we moved house. He was 3.5 and we moved to a place where we could all sit round the kitchen table and have meals together. It also helped that his sister liked her grub and ate without protest. We gradually just put food on his plate without fuss (that took a while - months) then he would pick it up, then taste it. We are talking over a year or two.

However a friend came to dinner the other day and said "you are so lucky your children eat veg and proper food". It has taken bllody years, and he has never said he's hungry, but i feel it has paid off.

I suppose I am saying that there is light at the end of the tunnel, just don't give up. Good luck.

Oh, and by the way at 2 years he ate almost nothing except Thomas the Tank engine pasta shapes.

Sorry, I haven't read all the posts in here but sometimes break through comes when children visit other kids eating well. It puts them in the mood. Cooking with your child can help a lot. I also often used the trick of putting what i wanted my DS to eat on my plate. He fancied my food more. Good luck!

i know you've probably tried everything but this is my approach for 4yr old ds...

1. keep everything separate on the plate

1. serve very small portions - 1 fish finger, 4 chips, desert spoon of peas. You can always offer more.

1. If he says he doesn't like it I respond with a simple 'okay' or 'eat what you like and leave the rest'.

1. Everyone has the same on the plate but can leave the bits they don't like (see 1)

1. Only snacks are fruit - you could have an approved snack box with nutritious items in so you know everything is adding value to his diet.

1. Big up the table manners. I find this easiest by picking something he is doing already; sitting, using spoon etc and make a big deal about his good manners. You can then add to this gradually.

hth

i know many people will critisize me for that but on some occasions I put my DS's plate in a living room when he was watching TV, he ate a lot without knowing. The other, may be more zcceptable idea is to take his plate in a bathroom and offer him as a snack, i also had some picknicks on the carpet when he ate with pleasure.

I sympathise - my eldest eats everything you give him, but ds2 has been much harder.

Music really helps and he needs to be distracted. I have also accepted that he is a grazer and likes to pick at things in small quantities. We have a no snacks for 2 hours before a meal rule, but apart from that he's allowed to graze on crackers, rasins, fruit (Athough he only really likes banana and apples), breadsticks and so on.

It is now getting better and he actually picked the peas out of his stiry fry the other day ...and not to chuck them on the floor as previously, but to eat them. I almost fell off my chair in shock.

he loves helping to make milkshakes and i let him put the bananas and so on into the blender and he will then drink a tiny tiny bit,,,,,rest goes to big bro.

It will get better, but you have to persevere. i must admit when i read some of the things your ds eats, I was quite jealous...wich i could get mine to eat melon and grapes.

have you also tried having dinner all together...ours is desperate to pick off our plates when we do this and then seems prepared to eat things he would normally turn his nose up at...

As I am writing this my 10 year is sat behind me eating his second helping of casserole and mash (with stealth parsnips ). When he was 2 he was a complete nightmare with food. No meat at all and chopping and changing his mind from week to week with what he would eat. Every meal seemed a battleground but in the end I resigned myself to the fact that no child will starve themselves to death. Once I accepted this things calmed down over time and now he eats pretty much everything.
Be patient - keep offering different things and don't make a fuss when things are refused. In a few years time there will be no filling him believe me.

Well, I've been very proactive. I've spoken to the pharmacist when I was buying the vitamins and she did say as he eats fruit and carbs and drinks a lot of milk then the only thing he'll be missing out on is iron, but I do get him fortified breakfast cereal, which he does occasionally eat.
I've had the letter through about his 2 year check so I'm going to speak to the HV again and get him weighed, to see if he's put on or lost an ounce! I think I'm the only mum who cries at weighing clinic!!
I do only give him healthy snacks at home but I struggle at mums and tots groups, we go to 3 groups a week and at each one they give out snacks of biscuits and crisps. I take my own grapes to give to the ladies, who give them to Will and he does eat them, but he wants biscuits too. Don't even get me started on grandparents, I'm forever telling them not to give him crap but I know they do when my back is turned.
I have relaxed a bit after reading all the posts, I realise I'm not the only one now (all his little friends eat things like pilchards for breakfast for gods sake) and I guess he won't starve himself to death.
I'll carry on throwing food in the bin for as long as it takes!

to be honest sounds like he has a reasonable diet. Toddlers are fussy. Just keep offering him food. My older 3 were like this and I remember crying and getting in a right old state. They are now healthy strapping teenagers.
My youngest is the same and is 20 pounds at 4 but I figure enough goes into her tummy that she doesn't need surgery to have a G-tube fitted.
If a child really isn't eating enough they'd be off the bottom of the weight chart like dd is and have doctors threatening a G-tube.

It does sound quite resonable when I write it down but when he's eaten nothing but 2 potato waffles and 10 grapes in 2 days I struggle to stay calm. I'm sure I'll look back and laugh but when he's running around naked he just looks so bony and fragile it breaks my heart.

it is hard but if you show you're stressed about it or turn into a shrieking harridan like I did they turn it into a power struggle.
Will he help make food with you? Like butter sandwhiches and choose a filling? Let him make it for you both at lucntime and sit with him and have lunch. Might work and make him feel special. Does he eat dinner with you (and you dp if you haveone) or does he eat alone? DD hates eating alone which is a right pain as she eats 6 times a day and has to be fed on someone's lap as she can't feed herself. Means poor DH eats his dinner when its cold but at least dd gets to watch me eat, and her brothers and feel all joining-in.

I eat breakfast with him, but lunch and dinner are tricky. DH doesn't get in from work til bath time so I tend to eat with him later on. We also have a 7 month old daughter so at lunch I tend to be spooning food into her mouth in the playroom whilst Will's eating at the kitchen table cos I can't fit the highchair around the table. I think if I get her a booster seat and forget the highchair then sit her next to him it might help, she loves her food so that might encourage him. I'm going to try eating dinner with him too, DH can eat alone later.
I've tried to involve him in the preperation of food and he gets excited and helps, but still doesn't eat it! I bought him lots of Thomas shapes and bigged up lunch all morning telling him he was having Thomas, he gets them out of the cupboard all happy and eager, I heat them up, put them on a plate then he pushes them away. So every day now he asks for Thomas but still doesn't eat them!

what are Thomas shapes? Mind is boggling right now? Maybe he doesn't like them?

it does take a long time with some of them. My DS1 is 6 and has never said he's hungry. I have tried every trick in the book with him but I think he just doesn't like food. He shows no interest in it at all or at sitting at the table.

It's very frustrating and makes me really at times but I just have to try and keep plugging away quietly rather than getting stressed about it.

Easier said than done

he must be eating something Tommy or he wouldn't have made it to 6.
mean thought here.....take them round to a friend with a SN child and show them the G-tube and scar and say 'this could happen to you....'

oh yes - he does eat - but just a very limited selection of food. It's all mostly healthy to be fair to him - if someone gave him a packet of sweets for example, he would eat about 2 and leave the rest for later (which means never). Only likes plain biscuits and cakes, did try some plain crisps the other day at a party and said he liked them although he'd only have one the next time. Mostly he just likes veggies sausages, potato, raw carrots, cucumber and apple.

makes it difficult to go out for dinner