I don't know what to feed my baby

[Gemedin]

Hi. I have a 10 month old boy and I'm really struggling with what to feed him for lunch/dinner.

Started weaning at 5 months which was fine, he did well with purées and was doing well with thicker/not fully blended meals THEN we hit 7 months and he went on a very stressful hunger strike where he refused everything apart from yogurt. This lasted until 9 months when he suddenly started accepting food again. He also got his top 2 teeth through so don't know if this is was the reason for the food refusal. He has never been great with the bottle so I don't think he's overly fussed about or motivated by food.

Because of the refusal, I feel like we've gone backwards with the weaning and I'm so scared of putting him off food again that I don't know what to offer him! Because of this I have started using baby readymeals/pouches. They are the 10mth+ ones and he does fine with them. I tried him with spaghetti bolognese last week (my dinner from the night before) but he didn't eat much - I feel like it seemed a bit too dry for him. He does well with lumps and bits but seems to prefer wet foods if that makes sense.

I would really like to stop relying on readymade food/pouches for many reasons but I'm scared of him rejecting everything else. I don't know where to start with textures, sauces etc. Does anyone have any ideas that could help me? It probably doesn't help that I am not very good at cooking - happy to learn/try, I just have never really had to cook much before so don't know what to do.

I would really appreciate any ideas/advice/recipes!!

Thank you x

Hi @Jennyz123 thank you so much! That's really reassuring to read. I did wonder if it was his teeth. Hopefully if it happens again I won't be quite as worried!

I was really looking forward to weaning and giving proper food (he's a milk refuser which was so hard) but I've found it very stressful. I'll try to relax and not feel so scared of trying things with him. I just always worry he's going to hate it and then refuse to eat at all.

Thanks so much for the suggestions, they are really useful and I will try them all. Definitely think, like you said, sloppy food is a good starting point. Off now to google how to make lasagne 😂!

Thanks again x

Hi @Jennyz123 thank you so much! That's really reassuring to read. I did wonder if it was his teeth. Hopefully if it happens again I won't be quite as worried!

I was really looking forward to weaning and giving proper food (he's a milk refuser which was so hard) but I've found it very stressful. I'll try to relax and not feel so scared of trying things with him. I just always worry he's going to hate it and then refuse to eat at all.

Thanks so much for the suggestions, they are really useful and I will try them all. Definitely think, like you said, sloppy food is a good starting point. Off now to google how to make lasagne 😂!

Thanks again x

@mynameiscalypso thanks. I'm going to try that with the pasta, seems like a good starting point. Is normal pasta ok or should I be buying baby pasta?
Thanks also for the website, I'll hopefully find a few that I can try. Do you plan meals in advance?

That's a good point about it being over the week and not what he's eaten that day. I think sometimes I forget he is just a wee human! I don't always want 3 big meals so I guess, why would he! Never thought about it like that before.

Thanks again, I appreciate it x

@Gemedin I've never bothered with baby pasta. When DS preferred sloppy food, I used to buy orzo as it was quite small and made like a risotto type texture. Now he prefers finger food, he likes penne or fusilli best - I just buy standard pasta but remember not to salt the water when you cook it.

I'm not much of a meal planner to be honest, mainly because so find it boring for myself. I tend to freeze leftovers so there's generally stuff I can make a meal out of it and then just see what I want to make. I also use DS as a bit of a human dustbin for using up bits in the fridge that are going off...

@mynameiscalypso ah ok thanks! I wasn't really sure if there was anything different about baby pasta other than the size. I won't bother getting that then.
Oh I really hope I can get to that stage of just trying things and feeling confident about making something! x

Ah don't worry my DD hardly ate anything til she was about 1 really. We mostly ate with her and just gave her whatever we were having and she would just mess about with it. I wouldn't put chilli or salt or pepper in my cooking but otherwise I cooked as normal. She's always been quite fussy and this has gotten worse as she's neared 2 but this is common. She very rarely eats dinner anymore the last couple of months and she often eats at odd times. I don't think you can expect babies to necessarily want to eat on the same schedule we do or whatever either. We try to be as relaxed as possible about it all although it can be hard! We read 'My Child Won't Eat' which was really interesting and reassuring, I would recommend it. We also think about the division of responsibilities thing whereby we provide the food and it's up to them to eat it, we can't make them eat.

Unless your child's GP/HV is concerned about their growth or development I would try not to worry about the intake.

For simple meals I agree with PP that BBC Good Food is really useful. We are vegetarian and the Quorn website has lots of easy recipes for using Quorn products too. Honestly often if you Google things like 'easy recipes' you will find all sorts.

I actually do think you should probably focus on your own eating first though. Especially as your child gets older, what you model is going to be more important than anything else. Your child needs to see you enjoying healthy meals.

@MeadowHay hello, thanks for replying. It is hard but I will try not to worry so much.

I totally agree! I hadn't really thought about it much until I kept hearing to give him what I was having and then I realised I don't really have proper meals! I'll take your suggestion and google easy recipes and hopefully find some I can manage and that he can have too.

Thanks

@Gemedin
I second what pp said, my boy loves macaroni and cheese (boiled super soft). What he doesnt pick up himself, you can feed him.
I make shepards pie, add milk, purée. Chicken Alfredo, add milk, purée. Fish and potato, purée.. spag Bol with lots of veggies, purée. Veggie soup with potatoes, peas, carrots and chicken. I always boil some additional veggies to always have to add to the food.
Dont fret if he doesn't eat everything you put in front of him and you don't have to have a new food every day of the week, but it's good to give him a small bit of variety until you see what he likes.

@Userzzz thanks for the meal ideas! So you blend them all completely or leave bits in them? X

@Gemedin Depending on what the meal is I puree to a more chunky blend or sometimes a fine blend but as long as the food is soft it should be ok.

If your boy is teething cold raw carrot in a really chunky stick is great for them to chew on and if they do manage to get a bit off, it certainly won't hurt them!

@YorkshireParentalPerson Sticks of raw carrot are a choking risk and shouldn't be given to babies.

Yes - let him play and explore with his food. Eating is a sensory experience for babies. Serve meals at four hour intervals and he should be hungry. (8, noon, 4, light snack at bedtime).

He might enjoy dipping bread sticks into hummus. You can try various flavours - roasted pepper, olives, etc.

Don't give him raw carrots to gnaw on. They are a choking hazard

In the same vein, if you offer grapes, cup them up into very small pieces.

Move him towards eating a little portion of your own meals as much as possible in the next six months. It will be very messy!

Get a sippy cup with a spout and leave it where he can easily reach it, with fresh water in it. Don't offer any fruit juices or fruity flavoured beverages (no squash, no apple juice, etc) - they are too filling and bad habit forming.

@Gemedin yes, the yogurt just sticks everything together a bit which I found made it easier for DD to eat. You can also add something like a little bit of mild curry powder or dried herbs for a different taste - DD loves strong flavours like that

I never followed the guide, but the AK weaning recipe book for brilliant. It has at least 30 different recipes for every age range

Thanks @mathanxiety I really appreciate all the advice. I will keep going with the finger foods and letting him play with it.

Thanks @ThePurpleMoose that's a good idea, I'll definitely try that!!

Try and look at it from a different perspective OP - food at this age is about him learning to eat and exploring different tastes and textures. It's not where he's getting most of his nutrition from so if he doesn't eat anything then no worries. And if he does pick some food up, put it in his mouth even, then he's explored the food and it's been a successful meal time. I know you say he doesn't drink much milk, but unless there are medical concerns about his weight there's no reason to assume he isn't having as much as he needs, and of course he has his vitamins too.

This is a good opportunity to broaden your own eating as well - maybe ease yourself in my choosing 2/3 recipes a week to try? You'll soon learn that cooking from scratch isn't difficult.

So just give him some of what you're having (if you need to keep giving pouches a few times a week while you work up to cooking every day then that's fine) and offer finger foods alongside. I've never done purées so I don't know at what stage they should be on what consistency, but id assume you should be looking to move towards real food now?

Mostly just try to relax :) you haven't done anything wrong, you just want to ensure your baby is getting everything he needs. But taking the stress and anxiety out of meal times will make them far more enjoyable for both of you (especially in the future when you've got a toddler who insists everything is too yucky 🙄).

Hi @Spam88 thank you so much for taking the time to reply with all of that.
I do think I need to stop worrying so much about it. I think because he was so hard to feed with the bottle I couldn't wait to get onto solids and was hoping I would find it a bit easier but so far it hasn't been that way. I'll try to relax and assume he is fine with what he is taking. He's growing and has energy so definitely not malnourished.

I agree about sorting my own eating habits. I never really thought about them (I eat easy things like toasties, pasta, salmon and rice) until now when I kept hearing to feed DS the same as me and realised I don't really make proper meals, nothing that he can have. Can you recommend any starting points for me? I mean like what kind of meals to start with?

Yes, definitely would like to be moving to real food for him rather than pureeing everything.

Thanks again. What you said is very useful. I need to stop being so scared of mealtimes!

Certainly nothing wrong with pasta - we eat plenty of that in this house! Do you make your own sauces? If not that's an easy place to start. Happy to suggest some easy ones if you want.

Other than that maybe just go for a few basics - chilli, fajitas, cottage pie - depends what sort of food you like of course.

Tray bakes are really easy as well, we normally do diced chicken with some veg (we like onions, mushrooms and peppers), glug of oil and whatever herbs/spices you like (mixed herbs is always a safe bet, or we like paprika). You can add potatoes and then it's a full meal, or serve with some bread or couscous.

Oh ok great, I love pasta! I just wasn't sure how to serve it to him... no it's usually just shop bought sauces. I would love any you can suggest please.

They all sound good, I will have a look for recipes. So do you think those meals are ok to serve to a 10 month old? Do I just mash them up??

Tray bake - literally chicken, veg and pour the oil/herbs and then put into the oven?

Sorry these questions probably sound stupid to someone who knows what they're doing but my cooking knowledge is clearly very limited (non existent) x

@Spam88 forgot to tag you in the above reply ^^

It wasn’t until I weaned my first son that I really learnt how to cook!
I started by making pasta sauces just with tinned tomatoes, butter and herbs. I would then season ours at the table. You can also add a bit of stock but you have to watch the salt content. You can then also make spaghetti bolognese from scratch, in a similar way, with a little beef stock. Cheesy pasta or cauliflower cheese is also easy and it’s always gone down well with mine. I got my recipe from the Annabelle Karmel weaning book.
I also did a month or so using ‘hello fresh’ where they send you all of the ingredients along with recipe cards to follow. These taught me how to cook some lovely healthy dishes, many which have become staple meals in our house.
The Jamie Oliver easy pizza recipe also makes great homemade pizza which can be quite healthy unless you pile on the cheese!
If you cook proper meals for yourself, it’s much easier to just give some of what you’re having to them and of course as they get bigger they will need proper balanced meals.
As others have said, the atmosphere can make a difference too. I was always a fussy eater as a child and I still remember feeling so tense as my mum would get stressed over whether I was eating. I definitely played up to this when I was older too!!

Traybake - yep, give it a mix around to coat everything in the oil and then 30 minutes in the oven at 200c (or 180 fan). In fact that's probably more than enough but I'm a bit paranoid about chicken 😂 if you're using potatoes they'll need a bit longer, so stick them in for 10 minutes on their own (with oil) then add everything else and put back in for 30 minutes.

Tomato sauces are really easy. The simplest would be a tin of chopped tomatoes with some herbs (basil is good with tomato) added, just leave that to simmer while you're cooking your pasta. You can use passata instead of tinned tomatoes if you prefer it without lumps. If you want to build upon that then you can fry an onion in the pan before adding the tomatoes and herbs. Or if you like spicy then add paprika/chilli powder to your onions and cook for 30 seconds before adding your tomatoes. Lots of different things you can do, you just need the confidence to try.

A basic white sauce is a good one to learn (google for a recipe, they're my nemesis so I won't try to advise you 😂). Add some cheese and you've got yourself a cheese sauce.

Traybake - yep, give it a mix around to coat everything in the oil and then 30 minutes in the oven at 200c (or 180 fan). In fact that's probably more than enough but I'm a bit paranoid about chicken 😂 if you're using potatoes they'll need a bit longer, so stick them in for 10 minutes on their own (with oil) then add everything else and put back in for 30 minutes.

Tomato sauces are really easy. The simplest would be a tin of chopped tomatoes with some herbs (basil is good with tomato) added, just leave that to simmer while you're cooking your pasta. You can use passata instead of tinned tomatoes if you prefer it without lumps. If you want to build upon that then you can fry an onion in the pan before adding the tomatoes and herbs. Or if you like spicy then add paprika/chilli powder to your onions and cook for 30 seconds before adding your tomatoes. Lots of different things you can do, you just need the confidence to try.

A basic white sauce is a good one to learn (google for a recipe, they're my nemesis so I won't try to advise you 😂). Add some cheese and you've got yourself a cheese sauce.

Have a look at Jamie's 7 veg sauce as well - doesn't require any more skill than roughly chopping some stuff, but can be used as a tomato sauce for pasta, in place of chopped tomatoes in a chilli or curry, as a pizza sauce, soup etc etc.