14 month old dd wont eat i need help

[ELLIELULU]

i have two dd, one 13 1/2 and one 14 mths the latter wont eat (she is LI and on special milk - but i need to get her on whole milk fully to be retested mad eh)

i need help she hardly drinks should be having 18oz a day, and drinks less, hardly eats, today for eg 6oz milk on waking , refused breakfast, then at 1/4 round toast (made with whole milk), ate 1/2 waffle for lunch drank 1oz later on had snacks of 5 bluberrys, tried teatime swee pot and c.stew refused (ended in tears her screaming)like this more often than not now. drank 6oz tonite before bed but dad took over as she refused anymore after 3oz.

last weighed 3 wks ago weighing 19 12 at 14 mths, only just outgrown 6-9 mths now in 9-12 mths tends to be 3 mths behind on clothes friends 7 mth old son mistook for her twin today and he weighs more.

doctors said okay last time i took her but she is on the go all time now and if she is not sustaining her fuel intake (food drink) im worried shell end up collasping soon.

tried fingers food not intersted, after cple spoonfuls she refuses and wont eat anyherself, she will feed her self puddings yogs etc, but nothing else.

its making me ill,even though i dont show in front of her but i cant act jolly if i feeling so down inside.

there is nothing hand on heart 24/7 she would eat all day, HV waste of time.

away on hols next week to france dreading it totally, running out of ideas.

please help

What has your HV suggested? It might be beyond her experience though if you haven't found her helpful.

Is there a definite plan to get your DD re-tested or can it wait until a later date?

Is the refusal to eat new or has she always been this way?

Sorry - loads of questions I know.

theclosetpagan

HV waste of time telling me things as if im stupid and havent had the sense to try them first. for the first 6 mths they were telling me she wasnt putting on enought weight constantly. she was born 71b but had bad billirueben to the extent she was in SCBU for 3 days and under light therapy for the other 5 days in hospital got very dehydrated in hosp . fed on a mix of breast/formula to keep her levels up once, at home on breast till 4 1/2 mths too many people interfering. went onto forumla and had really nasty nappies hence put on L.Free milk via doctors and peadiatric doc at hospital. to be told want on full formula by 12 mths, have pot/form and spatula to resend stool sample, and been promised quick turnaround on appts. but lactos isnt justmilk its every dairy product. she ate 1/3 dairylea tribite the other day, not being referred re milk perscription for another 6 mths but they will want to know sooner rather than later.

she has peaks and troughs can eat but even then not much compared to other kiddies same age and older,and then the other extreme nothing at all hardly.

ive always kept a food diary and it amazes me she has the stamina unless she is using up what little fat stores she has.

friends son 3 wks older bit taller but skinnier than her but eats and eats, so he must have a fast metabolism

apart from Doctor and Health V not sure who else to ask and Hubby loathe like me to send her back to hosp for possible unecessary tests.

Just to say PLEASE stop comapring her to otehr children.... SOME children ARE big, some ARE small.... same as adults... we are NOT all the same size

(I look after a 1 and 4 year old normally.... occasionaly i have my old job with my 5 year old and 7 year old... the children use the same car seats... my 5 year old is not yet 15kg and is still in a group 1 seat, and the 4 and 7 year old sit in the same group 2 car seat adjusted the same way)

Remeber that childrne will not starve themsleves to death.... no child never has and they wont

try not to gt stressed.... offer food... give them a chance to eat it.... andif the dont want it dont get stresseed just bin it... with nay luck they may be a bit hungrier next meal and eat more then.

also why does your 14 mont old need 18oz milk?
By a year a pint is more than enough... and this can be included in cheese sauce eg on pasta, yogurt / custard / on cereal etc.

A cup of morning milk and evening milk is more than enough for a 1 year old!

Good luck!

NannyL

you cant help comparing when everyone else is my other dd 13 1/2 ate everthing in site and still does.

HV and Doctor both said 18oz (600ml) = to a pint, she can only have yogs small amount and other items made with milk as lactose intolerant if she had just milk morning and night that would be all she would have had this past 5 days alone as her food intake doesnt even make up a side plate size after this length of time. cereal she is hit and miss more miss.if she ate one thing 24/7 i would give it her morning, noon and night but there is nothing she wont even eat mashed spud somethign as simple as that.#

i keep thinking if its worth reverting back to pureed stage food and working from there.
but she has always been a faddy eater and
HV for the first 6/7 mths were ready to refer her as she wasnt and still isnt putting it on quick enought for there liking.

is she lighter weight as on LFree milk, and cannot digest sugars in milk, but she still wont eat, she not even into sweets and things like that either.

you may not be able to 'help' comparing but comparing really doesnt help

We really are all different sizes...

My 1 year old charge (who is a bit fussy and sometiems eats hardly anything) wheres 2 - 3 clothes..... My 5 year old charge (who eats everything and has eaten portions as large as mine since being 2 years old) is also in size 2-3 clothes

they are all different and all get there in the end.

So long as she is not loosing weight then dont worry at all... she will get there in the end like they all do... but some of us (like me) even end up being small adults as well!

(Oh yes my old old charge is 10 years old and his feet are already bigger than mine!, and his 7 year old brother is just 2 sizes behind me!, will probaluy be as big as my by his 8th birthday!)

I was LI as a child and you used to be able to get quite a few LI food stuff in France. They do alot of soya products yoghurts and chocolate puddings. My DS although is very fussy will always go for a alpro soya pudding no matter what and they do things like this in france. Bread sticks are great if she will eat these and i know waitrose ones don't have any dairy in.

what about chuncks of baggette - my DS loves bagette and when i go to the supermarket always wants the end to chew on.

Hope this helps

We went on hols to France a couple of times with VERY picky baby/toddler, and both time he practically lived off a vegetable soup product called (I think) Bledisoup. He hates all kinds of vegetables and soup when at home, so it probably has all kinds of bad things / sugar in it - but in the interests of improving your quality of holiday I suggest you get yourself down to a French grocery store and try it out, assuming it doesn't contain dairy.....

Hi EllieLulu, my dd is 15 months and eats very little. She was breastfed to 10 months and went on solids at 6 months. When she started on solids she had a great appetite but as the months have passed she has eaten less and less. She is still drinking formula as she has eczema and I didn't want to risk making it worse. Some days I'd say 5-6 teaspoons of solid food is all that she would eat - thats between 3 meals. She hasn't started loosing weight yet but hasn't gained anything for a few months. She is 22lbs. I told the hv about her eating so little and she said not to worry as the appetite decreses after a year normally and then with teething they might just be not very hungry. I used to worry about it constantly but she has loads of energy and is very happy so I am trying to relax. Some people say if there are one or two things they will eat just give them but with my dd it isn't like she dislikes any particular food she just eats tiny amounts. It makes it harder that she has cousins who have the most amazing appetites and will eat loads of everything.
Today she had:
breakfast - 4teaspoons readybrek with milk
midmorning - 6oz bottle
lunch - offered bread, fruit, yoghurt - ate nothing
afternoon - 6oz bottle - drank 4-5 ozs
dinner - 5 teaspoons cauliflower&brocolli with cheese sauce, half a small yoghurt
bedtime - drank 6oz
I would consider this a good day for her. SHe has just started eating youghurt lately and at least it is a bit creamy.
Not sure if any of this is a help but just to let you know you are not alone.

mumtodd

thanks sound like they could be twins "lol" they pratically the same child. dont know if keeping a food diary is good still but at least its shows me what she is eating or isnt, a friend suggested minadex tonic after HV and Doc told me to give her multi vits with her eating being cr##, its states 10 ml per day but im giving her 5ml for now so not to overload her system. she is like a whirling dervish. fast asleep in buggy as up at 5.15 am drank 6oz at 6 am. im only 38 now but cant below how grey ive gone over this. my contact in france states they do a lot of nestle food over there will need to get phrase book so i know what contains soya etc, (legalalien) i will look out for that soup and try her out there on it, she ate carrot and coriander (homemade)once many moons ago. re water it would have to be bottled and boiled, (barefeete) alpro soya pudding do they do this in variety of flavours as not seen it at all.think the LI comes from me eldest DD cannot stand milk and even though i drink in by the gallon it gives me bad stomach pains. will probably put us all on lacto free milk. Re france if anyone can name a few other things i could by there and try her on, so im not spending hours trying to decipher labels as my french isnt that good. cheers

Hi ellielulu

It must be very worrying and exhausting and I really feel for you.
My DS is 13 months next week and weighs 17lbs 11ozs, we were referred to consultant re his weight when he was 8 months old. Still have check ups but all have agreed my DS is absolutely fine.
I don't have the same worries as you as my LO isn't LI and he does eat little but often throughout the day. He too is always on the go and must have a fast metabolism.

I used to worry myself sick and then realised he wasn't losing weight anymore and he managed to keep going whether he ate or not!
I kept offering and offering, introduced snacks, let him play with spoon and fork, he fed me and his dad and we went out for picnics. We eat with him. I also tried lots of different cereals as you could be sure of lots of milk content- you could try this with soya?
He sometimes has cereal for breakfast and tea.

It's easy for me to say I know but just switch off from it for a while and if she doesn't eat then maybe she will eat next mealtime.
I would just give her a bowl of food and a couple of bits of cutlery, sit next to her and eat yours offering your DD some as you go if she refuses it just continue to chatter on about the price of fish
If you think puree food may do the trick then try it.

Desperately trying to think of more advice but my brain isn't helping at all

Hi ellielulu

Sorry I didn't come back and reply yesterday. My DS (now 4) was a bit like this but had reflux. He went through a real stage of not eating and I found my HV really good. She also gave me a really good leaflet called "Help! My Child Won't Eat" which just basically re-iterated the same advice she had given. I suspect that your HV just went through the basics of managing an eating problem with a toddler.
I think if it's a basic eating problem then HVs can be great in offering support - if it's a more deep rooted problem though then I assume it isn't something they would necessarily be trained to deal with and your little one might be better off seeing a dietican.

I would agree with others that all children are different - am not sure where your DD is on the growth charts but a friend of mine who is a paediatrician has told me that all these charts are likely to change soon as many children are deemed underweight when in fact they are not.

when ive looked at growth charts she is still charted on the bottle fed one from birth even though she was breast fed for 4 1/2 months so even there is a change already as BF babies dont weigh as much, but the HV most with kids were still adament she wasnt putting on enough weight i think that hasnt helped as each visit put the fear of god in me as i dreaded what they would say and was in tears if not during or after the visit to the clinic, i felt like a naughty child not a second time mum and at my health centre they do a good thing to try and belittle your suggestions good or bad. im trying to destress my friend who is having her as my usual CM is on on her jollies said today i wasnt kidding when i told her she was a faddy eater even she is worrying at lack off, but there she is still like a whirling dervish. i think i will start recooking her our stuff, and mash it down to not quite a puree but not quite lumpy either, she's like the "nono" bloke off vicar of dibly she ate some "homemade shepherds pie" my friend made of her fork, which we try her off our plates too, but as soon as she got a baby spoon to give her some of own, she refused. she has eaten a bit better today her milk consumption still cr## but loads of water. gonna keep her on minadex till we come back to see if it helps at all

(trying to put on emoticons but cannot soz)

I have a 14 month old who if I am lucky eats half banana for breakfast, mid morn has 7oz bottle formula (he was reflux baby on Enfamil AR and cows milk still makes him reflux)

Lunch usually dairylea strip cheese (not a ripper) 1/4 sandwhich usually small pot yoghurt

Afternoon milk again 7oz

Tea -favourite is pasta (i hide green beans, thin strips of peppers etc in the tubes)

And he drinks 8oz for bed time. Wakes 2-3am and has another 7oz milk.

He is between 50-75th centile so by no means a small boy but doesn't eat loads. I used to cry because he wouldn't drink more than 2-3ozs milk when he should have been on 6ozs.

My friends boy eats loads but is on 9th centile, and my other friends little girl was on 2nd. Not every adult is a size 12 or eats the same amount.

It is very hard but just try to act like the lack of eating doesn't bother you. I used to worry when DS1 wouldn't eat his tea that he would go hungry but they don't. We as adults are just used to eating at a set time and the same amount.

If it's a comfort, ds weighs 21 lb at 2yo and is the healthiest little thing. (He does eat, though, and IMO fairly well, ao I'm afraid I don't have any good tips - it did take him some time to get eating 'properly' though).

Hi ellielulu, just something I forgot to mention. At mealtimes we give dd a spoon and a fork of her own and she tries to feed herself and while she is doing that I give her some spoons of food. I notice she eats more this way as she likes t feel in control. Also I noticed that lately the two best meals she ate were at her grandmothers house and the only difference I could think of was that there was gravy on the potatoes and veg. I usually do a healthy sauce or mash with butter and milk but today I did gravy and she ate loads. I don't think gravy is the healthiest thing but if it helps her eat a bit more I am going to try it again.
Hope you are feeling better about things. I love to cook and feed people and it really makes me sad that I dd doesn't enjoy her food.

Hi Ellilulu. Would def. say try not to stress as babies are incredibly good at picking this up. I know it is hard though.

I also have a 'difficult eater' ds who is now 20 months. Somedays he eats hardly anything, and some days he eats quite well, can't predict it at all. He only drinks 4oz of milk a day, but has yogs and cereal. I haven't had him weighed for ages as I just don't wanna know what he weighs (he still wears 9-12mths trousers as anything 1yr+ falls down)! He is not too skinny and he is very happy, so I think he is fine, and I can do without being made to feel inadequate.

Try and relax on holiday and just keep giving her 'tastes' of what you eat. I find my ds prefers to eat what I am eating, especially off my plate.

Have a good holiday!

the closetpagan
got the leaflet will read it thoroughly my friend has given me her HV phone no based at diff docs will try them instead if needed

shes ate a bit better last 2 days but anso knacked as friends little lad running her ragged think at teatime today a bit too tired to eat but trying not too stress about it

If she likes using her own cutlery what about having two forks and you can sneakily stick the food on one while she messing with the other - she might eventually get some in her mouth!
We also used to try putting food on DD's pushchair tray (she was a little bugger for not eating!) and taking her for a walk while she ate it. It was always less stressful somehow.
But please don't beat yourself up about this - you say she's always on the go and she simply wouldn't have the energy to do this if she wasn't getting enough food.
I've just checked back to DS's last weigh-in (he'd just gone 14 months) and he was 9.5kg which I don't think is much more than yours.
Keep smiling

Weve done the old cutlery trick for months if she occupied with hers it usually works with us to feed spoonfuls in between her playing last month she started having a go at eating on her own and for every one of her taste's we managed two but she will only eat her pudding if its in a deep enought bowl, just depends what moods she is in. been out shopping really late tonight she ate about 8 of her spoons of lentil bake (jar heinz) she tends to eat veggy stuff better than meat when she eats maybe we have a mini veggie in our household eh.

DS's fav is frozen peas... still frozen!

i give my dd(14mo) what we are eating, i sit her in the highchair and i eat my dinner she wil pick up bits of her dinner and when im finished i feed her!
i try not to give her snacks if she not eaten i just make the next meal earlier/later depending on what/how much she has eaten if i give her yog, snacks she has them after her meal
perservere when she realises she has to eat what youve given her or nothing!
if your not stubborn enough (me and dd are)then give her stuf she will eat or mix with other stuff ie my dd will have dollop of choc spread in her ready break etc
my dd only has 1pnt milk a day and she doesnt have it throughout the day just one bottle first thing one to go bed and a drop milk in her breakfast etc
good luck keep trying

She ate Sat:- some Banana Porridge (not much) HippOrganice, 1 Smiley Face, 1 Petit Filous, 6 Mini Cheddars (yup i know salt content)1 1/2 chicksticks (Salt Again) bits suga snap peas and a spoon of icecream + usual milk and water.
Sunday:- Creamy Porride Hipp (not much) again Dinner tried some B.Beans and 1/2 crumpet with melted cheese (not a chance) took away from her but then gave her a PF Yog this time (should i give her pudding even if yog if not eaten. , couple small segments clemetine, ate 1/3 med jar chicken chasseur (Jar again) running round at B-I-L BBQ and bit of dry finger roll, milk and water as per usual.
Today:- Creamy Porride (not much) 1/2 piece toast at friends, ate 4 spns veggie casserole, 1/2 small box raisins, 1/2 sml w.meal pitt, friend tried turkey casserole at 4 spns then ate 1/4 waffle and 1/4 simply cod off her sons dinner + usual milk and water. this is a good cple days

Hi my C is 16months and I'm having probs with meals. C only has 4 top teeth so food should be on is being refused regularly! Any advice as to how i can get C to eat with out having to still process it to a pulp! C has milky bottle still when awakens and for bedtime and plenty of water through out day. But is living on weetabix soaked in warm milk, toast for lunch ( I know C can manage that but not bread potatoes veg etc )rice pudding banana and fromage frais.Its the same practically each day i try C first with what we're having but you'd think I was poisoning C with the reaction each time!!!
Is this something I should be concerned about or will it pass?

Hi, my dd is 14 months and a difficult eater too. She currently weighs just under 20lbs and was 5lbs 4oz at birth. She is small too, hovering on 9th centile (unadjusted for the fact she was almost a month early).

We really struggle with food. I took her to see a paediatrician last week, and the consensus is that because she is healthy, well, active and happy, there is nothing wrong with her and she is just a small child in the same way that some children will be big. This doesn't necessarily mean that she will be a small adult.

The problem is just getting enough into her. Some days she'll eat well, others next to nothing, but that is just toddlers. Around now, the back teeth come through too, and I wouldn't want to eat if every time I went to chew something it was painful.

They can pick up so easily on your stress. This is how we get around it:

• give her a spoon and let her play in her food. While she is doing this she'll open her mouth and we can shovel food in.

• give her some foods which contain sugar....I know it's bad, but many people who have babies who eat well just don't understand - they have the luxury of being able to prioritise dental hygiene over weight gain. Sugar has lots of calories. If we have a day when she hasn't eaten, for tea I will give her a whole pot of Ambrosia custard with a pot of Organix fruit mixed in (would your dd be able to eat that with the LI?). She will invariably eat the lot, which is pushing 200 calories. I balance this out with as much savoury food as possible and always clean teeth afterwards.

• give her finger food, and step away from the high chair. She eats so much better when she's allowed to 'get on with it'. I clean up in the kitchen, do whatever, but don't interfere.

• don't get stressed when she's had enough. Nothing is guaranteed to stop them wanting to eat more than being pushed to. I just say have you finished, she nods, and I take the food away without a fuss.

• we do small snacks between meals - she is still having milk mid morning and afternoon - It's a quick and easy way of getting calories in. If you go much over a pint though it can dent their appetite.

You just have to let them get on with it, and accept they're going to do what they want to do, all you can do is go along for the ride and do your best to offer food as and when. My dd also has a cousin of a similar age who is a bruiser and will eat an entire child's meal at one sitting. They really are all different.

I feel so much better in myself for having accepted this - I used to beat myself up over it, wonder what I was doing wrong, and lose sleep but I don't worry any more! Good luck x

@ TMD - I think it's a stage. Again, if C is waiting for some teeth to come through, food that needs chewing probably hurts. Whenever something like that happens, I think 'she won't be doing it when she's 18'!! and that usually gets me through it! Sounds like you have a baby that just likes milky things, nothing wrong with that, as long as you keep offering other foods too - they can take up to 50 times before they accept foods sometimes! (We are on attempt 32 today with fish fingers...)