Do you eat the same food at the same time as your children - everyday?

[McDreamyGonagall]

This has got me thinking after reading another thread.

I really want to increase the amount of times we do this. DH prefers to eat later as he has quite a late lunch but I feel we are missing out on enjoying time with the children, teaching them manners etc.

We do eat with them 2 or 3 times a week, just not every night. Also I tend to cook something different on the nights we don't eat with them. What do you do?

Olive oil is NORMAL.

are you swearing and shouting at me?

You'll give me indigestion

I've just had a nice family meal

Am not at all resentful if they dont eat at all! if they dont eat what i provide then there is nothing else until the next meal simple as that. No resent.
Im sure the last time i cooked broccoli in cheese sauce i had to wash the veg, heat up oven, parboil veg, make a cheese sauce and then bake it for around 20minutes. This takes much longer than a quick sarnie. My point was, to make one thing and then have to make another because they dont like it is not acceptable for me. I dont have the time, energy or finance to be able to rustle up 3 or 4 alternatives for each family member every night.

So if you say family meals are awful and that's how you feel about them (as opposed to finding family life in general a bit stressful and kids irritating sometimes) then what kind of messages are you sending your kids about eating and food?

a possibly interesting thought.

My mother was a crap cook, but expended vast amounts of time on it....as mother did in the 1960s. Food was seen as an 'issue' we were guilt tripped into finishing eveything on our plates. All hell broke loose other wose. I now have an arse the size of the Aswan dam.

I'm quite a good cook. I have an eat it or leave it attitude to food (no alternatives provided other than bread and butter and fruit). I spend the time I want and I'm no meal time martyr. My kids are spot on their ideal weights.

Ds was picky, now at 7 he is well within the bounds of 'normal'. He was never ill. Why make an issue, since making as issue didn't help me in the slightest?

Agree Haychee. I think you and I are of the same view. You cook stuff. If the kids don't eat it that's fine (although I can't remember the last time my kids didn't eat most of the food on their plate) but I'm not going to prepare an alternative. Funny how our kids just happen to be good eaters also isn't it? Have a look at some other threads if you want to see parents getting very anxious and involved in psychological punishemnts about food.

Oh God, forcing kids to eat food and saving plates to show daddy when he gets home (I know people who do this) is even worse than pandering to their every whim and encouraging faddiness.

I also agree with haychee

We are not worthy.

But I did the same! And had one that ate, and one that didn't!

Goodness!

I read to both of them. I have a dd who can no longer be tested (because she is off the charts) and a son with leraning difficulties.

Was that down to me? No, it comes of having two different children.

Same as with the food!

We eat as a family almost everyday and have done for over 2 years. I very rarely cook different food for DCs.

DCs are nearly 3, 4 & 5. They still eat with their hands, get their faces covered in sauce, DD1 and DD2 rarely say please and thank you without prompting and DD1 is quite fussy. So it's not having a particular positive effect on their manners and eating habits so far!

On the plus side, we do talk to each other a lot!

You see? Hurricane doesn't listen to a damn thing either. Don't see why I get shouted at for not listening.

Use your lugs

actually i suspect that you are laid back BECAUSE your kids eat, as much as anything

If I am introducing completely new then I tend to have it only as part of the meal, or will have a simple alternative on hand as well - even if just a sandwich, a quick egg or some fruit. DD is actually very good with food and always has been. Nothing to do with me I don't think, just the way she is. Shes loves her food and is willing to try anything, far better than her dad infact! However she does have a few dislikes, most of which I know by now. The odd dislike is very normal. I have yet to meet anyone who likes absolutely everything. Therefore I take a risk when introducing something new, but would never penalise DD if she did not like it - so long as she tries it! I will also persevere and serve it a few more times. If she genuinelky doesn't like it I will know this after serving it up 4 or 5 times over a period of time.

and I was far more laid back with ds than I was with dd who was dangerously close to being a PFB!

God, but I was so smug with dd. I was so utterly convinced that I had made her a good eater, and that if only people with picky children would do as I did, they would have no problems (And lest anyone think I am typing this to have a dig at anyone, I've posted this in the past, several times )

And then I had ds. Oh, how I ate humble pie.

do you have anything constructive to say pointydog or are you just looking for a fight? You seem hellbent on the notion that hurricane is wrong and thats your final decision.

I know of one young child with food issues and a veyr limited diet. His mum has done nothing wrong at all from what I can gather. I know she has followed advice from HV, GP and dietician and still is. This is an ongoing problem. The parents were not at fault here. Some children just have these issues, just as some have issues re behaviour, learning difficulties, etc. It is very important that food does not become the main focus, even when sorting food issues out. Mealtimes should never become a battleground or a stressful event.

what is your miriacle method for the picky eater martianbishop?

I'm actually in a very jovial mood now, haychee, and am certainly not looking for a fight. I had constructive things to say, I said them, I don;t want to repeat myself over and over, I am enjoying posting.

Thank you for asking.

patience and time. Nothing miraculous. I gave him time to grow out of it, and now he mostly has. Nothing much to do with me at all. He has been provided with the chance to try all sorts of things on a regular basis. When he is ready to try something new, he does.

His diet has never been a health issue (I'm a biology teacher so I do undertstand the basics ) so I never let it become a behavioural issue.

But the improvements in his diet were no more due to me than his initial disinclination to try new things.

But Martian there are always going to be exceptions and there are always going to be people who don't like stuff. There's really no argument here. In general kids who are faddy are like that because of their parents attitude to food and the messages they've conveyed but not always. And sometimes it's nothign to do with the taste of the food itself it's about what's going on in a child's head and whether they want some attention etc.

I've also seen children who were supposed to be faddy eaters and whose parents went on and on about how they were really worried the child wasn't eating enough etc sneak food in their gobs when the mother wasn't lookign so they still got loads of attention for being 'special' and still got loads of food (if not at the meal then they raid the cupboards later)

although youve been twisting a few things out of proportion at times i feel.

I would disagree, haychee. But it doesn't really matter, does it.

'in general'

Not sure how helpful it is to generalise when you are posting to individuals.

sometimes parents drive food issues. sometimes they do not.