I find it a little odd that you've melded the myriad of competing issues and causes into ... one "sinister cabal of vegetable growers poisoning the hotdogs of research subjects", as Anyone puts it so eloquently.
I wonder why conspiracy theorists don't grasp that mashing arbitrary factlets together into a 'they're all in it together' plot twist does not make a rational, logical story.
I do believe that there's lots people don't know, and yes, forces at work that tend to favor a few individuals profit versus the 'greater good'. But I don't believe there's one nearly sewn up conspiracy that manages to remain united, secret and all powerful somehow uniting the disparate sources, media and events in the greatest puppet show on earth. It's just not credible. People are just not that skilled or aligned to pull this off. Motive I can believe, but ability, nah.
And now it's clear my child is poorly and am up late with too much time on my hands, but really, why the linguistics tells?
The language used instantly marks out conspiracy theorists with these types of agendas in a way that signals 'you can disengage now, I'm one of them', when actually if they tried to communicate smaller yet evidence based arguments, using normal vocabulary and phrasing, drawn from any of the huge variety of cimmunication styles available (eg business, academia, journalists, documentary & factual TV production, blogger opinion pieces etc etc etc) people might listen more and be persuaded.
Instead it's a well worn path of dark mutterings and tantalizing hints of a secret only clever / thinking people know. And then the liberal smattering of half-facts & confusion, plus references to global coordinated cover ups, throw in derogatory language depicting people as mindless cattle. Probably adding some gentle sneering at the ignorance of the unenlightened when they fail to follow the fuzzy logic to the same conclusion. Sprinkle on misattribution of cause and effect, over reaching what can be proved or indicated by statistics, and a general fervant belief that if you shout long enough and hard enough it will transmogrify from hypotheses to fact. Then come the massive leaps of faith that tie all these snippets of facts, supposition and opinion into a massive web of staggering proportion, and voila a conspiracy theory is born.
Occasionally entertaining. But puzzling it all tends to follow the same guidelines.