What am I doing wrong? Both my dc have wobbly tummies.

[RitaDeleter]

Both are short for their age. They both have small (for lack of a better word) pot bellies. They aren't fat anywhere else although I have noticed a slight trace of double chin on them both too. They are averagely active but not excessively so (eg this morning they went to a children's museum - lots of interactive bits, this afternoon they have been out on their scooters). They are 9yrs and 11yrs.

An average day's food (in term time) would be:

Breakfast: Oat granola or Weetabix with semi skimmed milk, innocent smoothie

Lunch: ham sandwiches on whole meal bread, fruit, water, one homemade cupcake, with jam (no icing)

Dinner: pasta with tomato sauce and veg (sometimes with two sausages cut up - less pasta if there are sausages) or chicken stir fry with noodles, sometimes pizza with veg (half a thin based each) or chilli and rice. Things like that.

On the weekend there might be a piece of cake during the day too OR popcorn if we go to the cinema etc.

I don't think they are eating too much? It must be portion size I am getting wrong or do I need to help them be more active?

I am very overweight (I know exactly why, no delusions) dh is not. I am trying not to foist my own hang ups on them but I am concerned. Any ideas?

"I agree with other posters, plus the refined sugar in the cupcake will make their energy spike and then crash in the afternoon, making it harder for them to concentrate at school. "
at this.

OP - I reckon it's more exercise they need rather than less food. get an dog?

What is their BMI according to the nhs children's charts? Surely that is a better indicator than a slight belly (which is pretty subjective)

Personally, I disagree with this! If you can see a pot belly, they're overweight. Their BMI could be high if they have a high muscle weight (eg a gymnast) BMI is notoriously a bad way of determining whether kids are overweight or not.

Pretty sure at primary age, you should be able to see ribs!

Really sorry, nilbyname - but I think Mumsnet should adopt this as its motto- "I gave them a tictac!"

Reminds me of something I overheard once "oh, Toby we need something for the treat jar- shall we buy some rice cakes?"

I know Hak ...

I must admit that when I used to open my lunch box at school it used to always cntain a chocolate bisuit - a Taxi, a Penguin, a Wagon Wheel, and on very very good days a Trio (do they still have them?).

It used to be that when miners came off the night shift, they were given (oh the largesse of the bosses) a cup of tea and a biscui. My Dad and his mates could never stomach the bisuit (no doubt prefering three Embassy Regal) so my Dad used to pocket the lot...all for me!!!

Unless you're feeding them cereal in very large bowls, it doesn't, on the surface, sound like they're eating any more than my 8 and 10 yo and my 10yo is a huge carb addict and as skinny as a rake.

It would probably be helpful to weight their carbs for a few days to see what they're actually getting. You might find that that bowl of granola is 70 or 80g of the stuff, so not as healthy a breakfast as it might seem.

surely if they were fat they would need bigger sizes in their clothes. OP says they wear the correct sizes/smaller sizes.

Yeah I know, a tic tac, for the love of Pete won't somebody think of the children!

I don't need to do a packed lunch but they do get pudding every day.

Fairly even diet here. Enough carbs but not ott.

I remember watching a tv doco not long ago about childhood obesity and portion control (yes, I know OP's children are not obese). Basically, parents had no idea of what a normal portion should look like.

The 'calories per serving' listed on foods is usually based on a much smaller serving than what is dished up to kids these days.

I know you said about people focusing on the small cake, but maybe it is that sort of stuff, and how you view it that tips the balance with diet, because my kids wouldn't get a cake everyday with their lunch. I don't see cake as bad and we certainly have plenty of it, but not every day. I

So it might be lots of little things like that that seem ok, but daily they add up.

My kids are younger but they get fruit/yoghurt/veg sticks and maybe a couple of times a week have cake etc if I've baked or we've bought something out. I've never had problems with my weight and the dc are lean but well covered and have good appetites, but we are active and walk a lot. Drinks are milk, water and one fruit juice or hot chocolate per day. I'd do adapt what they're eating depending on what activity is planned.

Yesterday for 3.5 ds was:

Porridge and blueberries with milk as a drink

Slice of whole meal toast and banana snack

Homemade soup and toast and 2 plums

Slice of flapjack, apple and rice cakes (after 2 mile bike ride)

Sausage casserole with lots of veg, mash, small slice bake well tart (bought as special occasion)

Today lunch will be sandwich yoghurt apple, snacks just rice cakes and plums, fruit for pudding but we are just walking round town.

I think it's too much wheat . Weetabix breakfast, bread at lunch, pasta at dinner. I would try and give max 1 meal with wheat a day. So if you want to give toast and egg for breakfast, then give say baked potato for lunch and rice at dinner as the carb elements.

I also think that's very little excercise. Do they walk everywhere possible or cycle? Play outside more often. Even if one doesn't like sport so much walking, climb trees, cycling places daily will improve fitness.

As an idea my 3 and 4 year old yesterday spent 3 hrs in morning in woods/ running/ climbing trees Etc, in afternoon walked mile each way to friends house. 6-7pm daily we swim as family at pool on corner of the road.

I think recommended excercise for 3-5 year olds is 3hrs daily. I'm not sure what it is for 9-11year olds.

I find it hard to get hung up on the cake TBH. DS has a treat for lunch most days and is slim. And on MN carbs are the work of the devil and you'll always be told to cut them.

I think if you are overweight yourself then it's likely that your idea of a reasonable portion size is skewed. I don't mean that harshly, but as someone who has lost weight and had to look at my own portion sizes, what I used to consider normal is much more than I would have now. I'd suggest doing a bit of research on portion sizes and adjusting accordingly.

And the suggestion up thread about a family walk or bike ride every day after dinner is a good one, with more activity at the weekend.

I'd say the problem is sugar. They have more sugar than I would be able to cope with as an adult, it will not be doing nice things to their digestion at their age.

You need to stop the cake and the juice and so on. If you don't combine fat and sugar in the same meal then you shouldn't have to worry about portion sizes - the fat/sugar combo is what switches off our "I'm full" trigger.

Also, sugar should not be a "treat". If you don't want them to be fat don't teach them that it is.

I would say it is more portion size and not enough activity. Though it sounds that in the term time your ds does quite a bit of sport.

Re tummies is it wobbly fat tummy or more pot belly due to poor posture, lack of core strength? You know like toddlers have a bit of a pot belly but it's not fat as such and as they get older ie4-5 it disappears (did with my five) it's more to do with muscles development etc. You know how little kids can't stand up from flat on their back, sit up without using their hands. They tend to roll over, get on all fours and then get up. Once older you can just sit up from flat on your back and then stand.

Prob not explaining that very well..

Anyway I am very pleased wordfactory and others came along! It was getting a bit extreme!

With mine they do have 'treats' and are skinny minnies, very active though. Buy at about 10-11 ds1 started looking a little overweight, had a bit of a tummy, just like dp with regards to shape and where the weight goes on. Ds1 is not active like the younger four and hates sport. Anyway we watched (still watch) portion sizes and made sure to be active as a family at weekend's. And he shot up in height as well, almost 15 now and very slim. But he was slimming down before he shot up, I do think some of it was because he was going to have a growth spurt but it was also partly portion size ans lack of exercise.

Well mine have something sweet every single day and are slim strong and healthy.

Yesterday they were at football camp all day. In total yesterday they had:

porridge with a little honey
smoothie

cheese and ham roll, banana, chocolate biscuit, orange juice and loads and loads of water throughout the day.

roast pork, vegetables and jacket potato
Eton mess
glass of milk

On a school day they would have a cooked meal at school so no sandwich meal since we also have a cooked meal every night at home.

The only meal I'd sort out in your list is the breakfast. Ditch the cereal and go with porridge or protein e.g. eggs, beans on toast etc.

If you did that and made sure they get much more exercise then that would do the trick.

You say they need a drink in the morning but smoothies aren't a drink. They are liquid food, mostly sugar. Then when water is suggested, your response is one of disbelief and disgust.

My children drink water ever morning.

Most children drink water every morning.

If your children won't accept a none sugary drink, your going to have problems maintaining a healthy weight for them. Water is not yuk, it's water.

Blimey trollsworth! If you read the rest of my posts you'll see that apart from one cup of squash (per day) all my children drink is water! I/they/dh don't like water with breakfast is what I said and for the record I know only know one person (out of all the friends/dc's friends/family I have ever breakfasted with) who has water at breakfast. I've already said we're ditching smoothies as I hadn't realised how sugary they are. An unnecessarily aggressive post.

Atticus - they don't like porridge. If you do eggs, do you do toast with them? Is that not adding back the carbohydrates or is it the sugar aspect it improves? Thanks for your posts btw helpful but not judgey!

My children gave a small cup of fruit juice with a splash of water at breakfast. I don't know anyone who just has water (I have a cup of tea)

I'm not a food expert but our general rule is everything in moderation therefore I don't have a massive problem with carbs. Children need carbs, they just need lots of exercise too. Porridge is also carbs its just slow release so better than boxed cereal which is quick hit and then leaves them feeling empty.

If we do eggs (which we do quite frequently since we have chickens) then unless we're having omelette, we do have toast with them and DS1 will have grilled tomatoes with them too. We also might have sausages and beans, cheese and beans on toast, pancakes (only on a sunday since they're a faff) and bacon sandwiches on a saturday. We've made an effort over the past few months to improve their breakfasts and add more protein since previously it was a bowl of cornflakes and a slice of toast.

I'm sticking with the smoothies though. Yes they're full of sugar but thats because they're just fruit and all fruit is full of sugar. My glass of smoothie this morning contained 4 blackcurrants, a raspberry, a strawberry, half an apple and half a banana. If I'd eaten that fruit throughout the day nobody would bat an eyelid. Its a good way to get vitamins into them.

At a risk of causing Mumsnet to implode with outrage, could they have tea for breakfast? Or juice and water? I don't think I would be physically able to give a child squash for breakfast, but I certainly wouldn't want to drink water myself. I agree that the Innocent smoothies are a lot of sugar, although I still maintain that if ther is a problem it's not enough exercise rather than too much food.

My dc wouldn't have water with breakfast either! At breakfast they drink orange or pineapple juice.

OP you'll find an awful lot of 'perfect parents' on this post . There is nothing wrong with your dcs diet, what you are giving them is perfectly fine. The only suggestion I would make is to not give the cupcake every day. Not that there is anything wrong with having a treat, however it would be maybe better to vary the treat, say maybe a cupcake one day, packet of crisps the next, Rice Krispie square the next etc...

Our motto is everything in moderation.

"The only suggestion I would make is to not give the cupcake every day. Not that there is anything wrong with having a treat, however it would be maybe better to vary the treat, say maybe a cupcake one day, packet of crisps the next, Rice Krispie square the next etc... "

Why? Surely a home made cake is better than any of those?

Water for breakfast!?!

Blimey...

We all have juice and tea (or hot chocolate). We're absolutely not overweight!

That's because you only ever have one tictac, word!