What am I doing wrong? Both my dc have wobbly tummies.

[RitaDeleter]

Both are short for their age. They both have small (for lack of a better word) pot bellies. They aren't fat anywhere else although I have noticed a slight trace of double chin on them both too. They are averagely active but not excessively so (eg this morning they went to a children's museum - lots of interactive bits, this afternoon they have been out on their scooters). They are 9yrs and 11yrs.

An average day's food (in term time) would be:

Breakfast: Oat granola or Weetabix with semi skimmed milk, innocent smoothie

Lunch: ham sandwiches on whole meal bread, fruit, water, one homemade cupcake, with jam (no icing)

Dinner: pasta with tomato sauce and veg (sometimes with two sausages cut up - less pasta if there are sausages) or chicken stir fry with noodles, sometimes pizza with veg (half a thin based each) or chilli and rice. Things like that.

On the weekend there might be a piece of cake during the day too OR popcorn if we go to the cinema etc.

I don't think they are eating too much? It must be portion size I am getting wrong or do I need to help them be more active?

I am very overweight (I know exactly why, no delusions) dh is not. I am trying not to foist my own hang ups on them but I am concerned. Any ideas?

[KoalaDownUnder]

Well, it's not an 'alternative' though, it's 'here's something else to eat if you're still hungry', without the cake being offered at all. I'd prefer a cake or biscuit, too, as a child - but I wasn't given the choice!

[EmmanuelWoganberry]

I agree there is no need for a cake in every lunchbox, jam has a lot of sugar too so don’t think by using jam imstead of icing it will be much better sugarwise. It’s fine to give cake now and again.

As a rule whole fruits are better than juice, and I would try and avoid juice for breakfast, starting the day on a sugary hit will make them hungry and prone to snacking in the morning.

Oats are good but granola again is really sugary. What about porridge? Or eggs if you have time, microwave scrambled eggs and toast maybe at the weekends.

[Gerty1002]

I agree with other posters, plus the refined sugar in the cupcake will make their energy spike and then crash in the afternoon, making it harder for them to concentrate at school.

Maybe some rice cakes with philadelphia or cheese and crackers would be better? Or houmous and veg sticks? Do they have any savoury 'treats' they love that you could soften the loss of the cupcake with? Savoury muffins are a favourite of my DS but he's only 11mo so not old enough to realise they are healthier .

[Hazchem]

Rather then fruit juice what about a glass of milk fro breakfast. It's less sugar and more filling. You can even heat it a little to make it warming on a cold day and then top the cereal with fresh fruit like apple or banana.
My son doesn't routinely have a sweet as part of his lunch he does have an apple or some yoghurt some times but not everyday. At home for morning tea he might have fruit apiece of toast with peanut butter or a nut butter. I by a cocoa and nut butter spread with no sugar etc in it and he loves that.
We do baking for a fun activity.
I too am a fat parent and worry about passing my issues onto my children it's a hard freaking hard work.

[RitaDeleter]

Good question! They don't snack when I snack - lots of snacking when they are at school or after they have gone to bed, in fact they don't snack at all during the week but do at weekends, most likely something mid afternoon as we tend to eat later. We do eat together sometimes but mostly I cook for them separately. We do have treats (eg icecream) on a family day out.

[atticusclaw]

Your DCs diet sounds a lot like my DCs eat. I think its fairly normal. Don't worry about the cupcake its completely fine.

My DSs are 7 and 9 and eat masses. DS1 eats more than me. Both are slim and strong.

I don't think its their diet, its their diet combined with their lack of exercise.

By way of example a standard (non school holiday week) here is:

Saturday swimming lesson (about 25 lengths) and then football and trampolining in the garden,
sunday rugby for two hours more general running about in the afternoon, monday sports afternoon at school (whole afternoon),
tuesday PE at school,
Wednesday swimming at school,
thursday football after school,
Friday sports afternoon at school and cricket for two hours in the evening.

When they're at home they are always running about.

I wouldn't consider going to a museum active in any way, its just normal walking around.

[LadyCybilCrawley]

I think you need to research yourself as to how much sugar is in cakes, fruit juice, etc - in itself these things are not "bad" but everyday sets up the wrong expectations and habits - even every other day

Fruits and veg by themselves are delicious but they get a bad wrap compared to sugary treats

Small baby carrots with hummus, almonds, etc are great in lunch boxes and are much better and sets up long term habits which are better in the longer term

I would suggest:

Breakfast - Porridge with milk and banana - no sugar or honey - slice whole meal toast with marmite - glass water

Snack - apple and cheese slices, 12 almonds, water

Lunch - whole meal sandwich with ham lettuce tomato, 6 strawberries, sunflower seeds, water

Snack - baby carrots and hummus

Dinner - steamed broccoli, steamed carrot sticks, two baked baby potato with no added butter (can put on a spoon of natural yogurt if you wish), grilled chicken thigh, followed by natural yoghurt (no sugar or sweeteners) sprinkled with raspberries and raisins, water

[RitaDeleter]

gerty - they are both very bright and excelling at school so I think the sugar spike is probably not detrimental in that respect

[nobutreally]

My DCs are a similar age (8 & 10) & their diet is reasonably similar - except for the daily smoothie & cake. They have enviably flat tummies - unlike me...!
I would look at working towards portion size & increasing activity levels, as others have said. My two will eat what they are given and rarely ask for more - so if you give just a little less, that would be an easy shift.
Do they do any/many sports? Ds isn't a classically sporty boy - never got into football, rugby or cricket - but we've managed to find sports he does enjoy. Dh is into things like surfing, skateboarding and solo activity, and ds is the same. He does karate, fencing and gym.
Just increasing walking can help too - so making sure that you don't drive unless you have to.
One other thing - you don't mention snacks much. My two eat between meals a lot ... And i know that would be where any excess calories came from. But I limit that to fruit as much as possible. Are your two snacking much?

[Billynomates71]

Diet sounds fine, but more exercise would be good - family bike rides, hiking, swimming, trampolining. Do they go to any sporty clubs - dancing/football/swimming?

[nobutreally]

Sorry - x post with your comment on snacks.

[doziedoozie]

I don't think a small cake gives a sugar spike if it is at the end of a meal. DCs need something for energy.

They have slight bellies, just reduce carbs (slightly smaller helpings) and watch sugary drinks. Maybe park further from shops/school or whatever so you all walk a bit more.

Some of these posts seem a bit ott.

[RitaDeleter]

Atticus - Oh I agree, museum not active, just giving an example day. In term time DS is pretty active (cricket/hockey, judo, football during a week) but dd is not. She hates sport, she's very small and slow and is (in her words) rubbish at it. She loves dancing but has just finished dance club as she is changing school. I don't know what will be on offer there yet. We are definitely going to do more family activities at the weekend as dh and I want to increase our activity levels too. We are aiming to go for a walk and/or take them swimming each weekend.

Lady Cybil - that meal planner sounds incredibly dull like a diet to me. Is that really what average children are eating?!

[Mumto3dc]

I reckon has to be portion sizes and prob too much carb vs veg.

I have been shocked when other dc come round as to the volume of food they eat at a meal, double or more what my dc eat.

Use small plates, for all of you, not just dc.

If dc hungry after tea then offer rice cakes!!

[FreeButtonBee]

What is their BMI according to the nhs children's charts? Surely that is a better indicator than a slight belly (which is pretty subjective)

[TheWordFactory]

A good rule of thumb for anyone overweight is too many carbs, not enough exercise.

Where this balance lies for each of us is individual.

Many DC (including mine) would consider one cup cake a day, deprivation...yet they are thin, thin, thin.

OP, first, are you sure your DC are overweight? Not just awaiting a growth spurt. Though this has never happened to my two, I recall seeing DC at gymnastics suddenly getting a belly and bum (you could really tell in leotards etc) then boom...grew three inches .

If it's not that, then I would really advise not getting het up about every item of food. MN can be absurd in this regard. Some parents are feeding their DC a diet that would make your average adult run into the desert screaming for mercy!!!!

Just stick to the rule of them; less carbs, more exercise. Personally I would up the protein as a. it fills you up and b. it takes almost no thinking about...

[nilbyname]

My kids ate yesterday-

Crumpets with almond butter, a cutted up pear and a baby cino

Salmon in a wholemeal wrap, cucumber, carrots, olives, a glass of water

Rice with grilled lemon zest chicken, broccoli, peppers.

Small bowl

[KoalaDownUnder]

Maybe some of our suggestions do seem a bit OTT, but then again...I think people's ideas of what children's portion sizes should be, or how many treats they should expect, are also OTT these days.

If I had opened up my school lunch box and found a cupcake, it would have been a lovely surprise - usually left over from a birthday party. It should be an occasional thing. As an adult, I certainly don't finish off every lunch break with something sweet, so why would a child need to?

[LadyCybilCrawley]

That's what my 8 year old ate today - she does 14 hours of gymnastics a week and four hours of dance - the head coach provides us with suggested menu to ensure enough nutrients - she of course also has the odd biscuit and cupcake and icecream but probably once or twice a week

I think every family is different and there is no right or wrong - just what is right for your family

The op asked for suggestions - my posts are just that - I don't think any posts on this thread are ott - just different perspectives on the same issue - the op can take or ignore what feels right for her

[LadyIsabellaWrotham]

I wouldn't focus on the treats so much as the lack of veg. If you make sure they get a minimum of 4 palm size portions of veg each day (plus some whole fruit rather than juice or smoothies).

This is very much a "do as I say not as I do" post though

[ilovepowerhoop]

are your children actually overweight though - have you put their height/weight into the nhs bmi calculator to see what it says?

www.nhs.uk/Tools/Pages/Healthyweightcalculator.aspx

[MarshaBrady]

Ditching stuff like smoothies and juice is so easy, but then we do have the odd treat.

[nilbyname]

Of lemon sorbet.

They had water through the day, grannie have them a chocolate biscuit, and I gave them a tictac!

We went to the park twice for a run around and poor them we had to do a shop so walked a fair amount.

I'd say that was a pretty normal day for us.

We have home made mini pizzas, noodles, pasta, homemade gnocchi, rice. Loads of veg, think 5 veg then plus 2 fruit a day. Kids love fish, so we are lucky we eat loads of chicken, salmon, tuna and have been using quorn mince instead of beef/pork for a while now.

[PrimalLass]

That's a lot of wheat in one day.

[Fairywhitebear]

Pretty sure I ate substantially more than that as a child, and I was skinny, as was every other child in the class (70's kid here!)

I think the key is portion control (kids should noticeably have a much smaller plate of food than an adult) and also exercise!

I was constantly moving. Bike, running, gymnastics, tennis etc etc. It's likely your DC's just don't do enough exercise. Walk after dinner all of you, every night? Or before.