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Original poster

Help me be not irritated by the sort of food my parents always want, plus, what can I give them?

63 replies

FanjoandZooey · 30/07/2006 09:28

I always feel totally annoyed when my parents come to visit because they only like to eat certain kinds of food and I get unreasonably peeved at having to go out and get them. For lunch, every day, they eat cheese, ham, bread, and a pack of that supermarket salad. We don't have meat so I get the cheese etc. If I provide anything else they leave it and just eat the cheese. If I don't buy the cheese and make something else, then next time they bring their own. The only other thing they would consider eating is homemade pizza, or something with pastry, which I don't like, or soup (too hot at the moment).

I am being childish but it really irritates me. When we go to their house eat this sort of food every time as well and that annoys me too. It makes us put on weight and it buggers up our digestion, to be honest. My mother is always on some sort of diet but sits and eats all this ruddy cheese and pastry and just stodge every day and I don't know how they stick it.

What on earth can I give them that we will all like, and how can I stop feeling so narky about it because I know it is ridiculous, really.

Oh and before anyone witty says "get them a takeaway pizza" I am barred, remember

OP posts:

vitomum · 30/07/2006 09:41

They're just stuck in their ways aren't they. In terms of them coming to yours that sounds nice and easy just bunging out some cheese and salad - i would still make what i wanted to eat for myself though and let them try a bit to see if they like it for next time (as per with my toddler!). Bit more tricky when you got to theirs - you could always try you mum's tactic of bringing your own food! In respect of feeling narky about i personally enjoy a good nark - just let go of the guilt attached to it, parents are there to irritate us. You can still be a nice person whilst despising your mother's pastry and cheese eating habits

WideWebWitch · 30/07/2006 09:43

ha ha. Oh Franny, just give them what they want, there's no point in doing otherwise. My ILS like similar stuff, without the salad, and I've decided there's NO point in trying to change them. I even do soggy veg for them and al dente for us when I do a roast if they're here. They do eat couscous when I provide it, to be fair, but then whip out cream cakes (which are fine but I wouldn't buy them) and really nasty stuff like tinned fruit salad, do you know the ones I mean?

You'll feel happier if you just accept it I reckon. Could you take your own stuff when you go to visit?

suzywong · 30/07/2006 09:47

Hmmmmm....Franjo.
Sounds to me like you should lie down on the couch and we'll start the clock ticking for 50 minutes. Want to open up a bit more about the Mother/Pastry/Ham trinity and why it generates so much ire?

My mother gives me the heebie geebies with her food, same kind of pastry dependency.

Original poster

FanjoandZooey · 30/07/2006 09:54

"You can still be a nice person whilst despising your mother's pastry and cheese eating habits"

Oh thank god for that, can I really? I feel cleansed. How much do I owe you?

Suzy, it would take a lot, lot longer than 50 mins. Call me when you have the odd decade free, would you?

OP posts:

mrsnoah · 30/07/2006 09:55

Fanjoandzooey, if you can bear it I would give them their cheese ham and bread and provide the rest of the family with a really nice meal that you would normally make for them.
Perhaps this is why you eat so healthily yourself ?

some parents are just odd!
My Mother is on a diet of Haribo!!!

mrsnoah · 30/07/2006 09:59

cheese omelette with salad
cheese quiche with salad
cheese souffle with salad
cheese pie with salad
ceese frittata with salad

... you need notanotter.. she knows a lot of things to do with cheese !

Original poster

FanjoandZooey · 30/07/2006 09:59

LOL @ "diet of Haribo"

Yes I do know it could be a lot worse. You are all very kind but I know it is in fact me being an arse. Food is one of my Ishoos (you may in fact have noticed this ) and I am a bit of a control freak so it presses all my buttons.

I think I just resent the fact I get all this ruddy cheese every time they come but when we go to theirs, we have to eat cheese and white flour combos for 3 days, and then I have to put up with dp being frankly ill for 2 days after, because he has welded his system together with pastry

OP posts:

hunkermunker · 30/07/2006 10:01

get them a takeaway pizza...your mum can call - she's not barred

Original poster

FanjoandZooey · 30/07/2006 10:01

Aargh Mrs Noah that reads like my mother's menu plan for 3 days of us staying with them

OP posts:

Original poster

FanjoandZooey · 30/07/2006 10:01

Piss off cheekymunker

OP posts:

hunkermunker · 30/07/2006 10:01

When you go to see them, take some stealth quinoa.

Original poster

FanjoandZooey · 30/07/2006 10:03

I did! When we stay I always say "oh we'll cook tonight and give you a break". Last time we made quinoa and my dad (who my mum always blames for not being able to have anything other than cheesy wheat - "ooh your father wouldn't eat that") said it was nice and he would like to have it again but my mother said he would have to cook it himself then (my dad does not know how to turn on the oven, I don't think).

OP posts:

mrsnoah · 30/07/2006 10:03

ok maybe you have to go back to basics....
starve 'em until they eat your healthy option!!!
Get your kids to make them a star chart!! {grin]

mrsnoah · 30/07/2006 10:04

Original poster

FanjoandZooey · 30/07/2006 10:05

ROFL MrsNoah

Do you know, it might just work

OP posts:

mrsnoah · 30/07/2006 10:10

ha ha have been there myself and ne poor ole dad likes my cooking but mother refuses to acknowledge that he does!!!
When we go there its meat with meat and not a vegetable in sight... feel bunged up beyond belief afterwards!!

Chandra · 30/07/2006 10:10

TBH, when I opened this thread I was expecting a full diet of haribos, crisps, lots of bacon and cheese and no vegetables let alone salad, so.... I think you have to relax, get them their cheese and let them be. You hate to eat their food when you visit them, so let them bring their cheese if they want and take your food when you visit too

SherlockLGJ · 30/07/2006 10:19

F&Z

Parents push our buttons.

We push our parents buttons.

But the thing I keep in front of me at all times these days is the fact that they will die and I will miss them dreadfully.

I have an excellent relationship with my parents and ignore things that they do.

My DM was a war baby and so loves sweet things, I personally would eat a tub of olives before I would eat a cream cake. However she loves her bits of sugar, DH and I both go out of our way to accomodate her sugar habit.

The last time they came, I bought flans and cream cakes and God knows what for them, DH went to Sainsburys to get petrol and duplicated some of the sweet stuff.

I thanked him afterwards and his reply was they add more to our lives than they take away.

suzywong · 30/07/2006 10:23

Blimey Sherlock, that is a commendable attitude, I salute you.

My parents are coming out here for a month and will be staying ina self contained apartment round the corner. I am already fretting over what to stock their cupboards with before they come. Jam, sugar, cakes, etc. I think about it in the middle of the night, fgs.

Just as an aside, does anyone else's war baby parent have an underlying terror of missing a meal? The anxiety that they will be denied a meal through lack of planning or foresight is utterly overwhelming for my parents. I blame rationing. And Hitler.

Moomin · 30/07/2006 10:29

F&Z i know just what you mean. dh's dad is just like this with his food. He's not as linited with his food as your parents but he won't even consider anything spicy, pasta or rice, anything with a sauce, anything garlicky, anything basically that's not meat and two veg, as long as the veg are cabbage, carrots, peas or potatoes. In other words, all the food we love in our house. My dad will eat anything that's put in front of him and he's 80 and has had an ulcer! so it gets on my wick how stuck in his ways pil is.

BUT... there really is NO point whatsoever getting into a stress because pil's not going to change, so it's only me that it bothers if i let myself get wound up by it. one time i made a vegetable stew for us all and had to make him a separate one without garlic or parsnips. when everyone had seconds i was a bit tipsy and forgot to use the 'special' one for him, gave him the main one and he actually spat it out (whilst crying 'that's disgusting'!)

I know wot you mean about it being an ishoo and it getting on your tits but you're also right in that it's only you that ends up suffering. i'm afraid we just have to accept that things won't change

giddy1 · 30/07/2006 10:32

Message deleted

Moomin · 30/07/2006 10:33

and yes, suzy, know exactly wot you mean about missing meals. Mil would walk barefoot in a blizzard to get back to the house if it meant she could get pil's meal on the table on time. we have to organise trips out with her days in advance so that she can plan how she will provide a meal that pil can heat up in her absence (er, beans on toast anyone? she'd be if i suggested it)

Carmenere · 30/07/2006 10:34

My mil will not eat anything that is not English. We rarely eat anything that could be classed as English. When she stayed with us recently she was almost proud at how inflexible she was being[exasperated emoticon].
I shall try Sherlocks serene attitude and I shall keep in mind that when she dies dp will miss her dreadfully and that we will inherit her money

mrsnoah · 30/07/2006 10:37

stinking Bishop Omelette ha ha ha

suzywong · 30/07/2006 10:37

YES moomin YES!!!!!

" Oh but what about your father's MEAL? When will he eat his main meal, will it be a high tea or just a sandwich? Will his testicles implode if he were to go into the kitchen and fend for himself? What about the MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLL?"

I never use that word myself, never. Too many associations. Shudder.

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