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Original poster

Help me be not irritated by the sort of food my parents always want, plus, what can I give them?

63 replies

FanjoandZooey · 30/07/2006 09:28

I always feel totally annoyed when my parents come to visit because they only like to eat certain kinds of food and I get unreasonably peeved at having to go out and get them. For lunch, every day, they eat cheese, ham, bread, and a pack of that supermarket salad. We don't have meat so I get the cheese etc. If I provide anything else they leave it and just eat the cheese. If I don't buy the cheese and make something else, then next time they bring their own. The only other thing they would consider eating is homemade pizza, or something with pastry, which I don't like, or soup (too hot at the moment).

I am being childish but it really irritates me. When we go to their house eat this sort of food every time as well and that annoys me too. It makes us put on weight and it buggers up our digestion, to be honest. My mother is always on some sort of diet but sits and eats all this ruddy cheese and pastry and just stodge every day and I don't know how they stick it.

What on earth can I give them that we will all like, and how can I stop feeling so narky about it because I know it is ridiculous, really.

Oh and before anyone witty says "get them a takeaway pizza" I am barred, remember

OP posts:
Moomin · 30/07/2006 10:47

oh lordy....... the sandwich/meal crisis....
Mil gets herself into a state trying to explain (often to complete strangers) how and why a sandwich is acceptable in certain circumstances - e.g. ONLY when a three course dinner is lined up at another part of the day, for instance when travelling to another part of the country to visit like-minded friends...

Original poster
FanjoandZooey · 30/07/2006 10:48

LOL glad I am not the only one with easily pushed buttons on this one.

Yes I really do know I am being childish and sad about it. I can't quite believe myself how much it makes me want to scream. If other friends come I am happy to accomodate them and their needs, it is just my parents, which is pathetic. I think it sort of feels like they are (yet again) denying the fact I have a separate lifestyle and my own, different choices. How sad. My whole family is screwed up, we would keep a team of psychotherapists in clover for years.

My parents also have to have a proper cooked meal in the evening, regardless of what they have had for lunch. We can go out for lunch and have a 3 course meal, but my mother will still have to leave at 4 pm so she can "put the lasagne on for dinner".

OP posts:
Moomin · 30/07/2006 10:49

btw, pmsl at testicles imploding.

themoon66 · 30/07/2006 10:52

Fanjo.... your mother eats lasagne?? Mine would never touch the stuff. She refers to it as 'that stuff with the horrible slimey sheets of pasta.'

suzywong · 30/07/2006 10:55

My parents eat off the Anglo menu, mum is good cook but it's the effin song and dance they make about it all.

Moomin, you are so right about the balance of sandwich only if a three course meal is lined up. Oh god this is making me shiver, I'm going to have to plan their days around what meals and what variety those meals will, not might but WILL, be. I think I will introduce a wild card one day a week and just say "we'll grab what we can when we can today" Mwwwwwuahhhhhhhhh

mrsnoah · 30/07/2006 10:56

fanjo, easy for us to give advice when its not our dilemma but maybe you can try to be cool about it, and do things that will make you laugh to yourself or feel smug while appearing to see to their every wish
does that make sense?

Original poster
FanjoandZooey · 30/07/2006 10:56

Ah, my mum's heyday was the 70s. She happily eats pasta, avocados, prawns, ratatouille and even couscous. Vile bloody stuff, couscous.

OP posts:
Moomin · 30/07/2006 10:58

ooo suzy, you dice with death! if my mil knew i was plotting such shennanigans she'd lie awake in a cold sweat for days beforehand. i do like doing stuff like that occasionally though, just to see her little worried face. i'm such a cow

giddy1 · 30/07/2006 11:05

Message deleted

tribpot · 30/07/2006 11:14

Blimey, the extent to which I have to accommodate my parents' eating habits is to remember they are vegetarians! (Fish-eating veggies, so an absolute doddle to provide for).

My step-dad is a war baby, my mum just post-war, neither is obsessed with not missing a meal and neither eats sweet things. Clearly they are wrong in the head

Franny, can you get organic white bread with seeds and stuff in? Or even half-and-half and hide the packet so they don't realise they are getting the devil's wholewheat in their bread.

I spent my entire childhood complaining about having to eat homemade wholewheat bread, and organic veggies fresh from the garden Now if I get my way ds will be exactly the same.

Blackduck · 30/07/2006 11:18

My in-laws are the other way - you could put poison in front of my mother-in-law and she'd say it was lovely!! SHerlock - lovely post and so true....

thewomanwhothoughtshewasahat · 30/07/2006 11:29

no advice - but I find it annoying when my fil goes out to buy things to eat when he stays here - It's a rejection of hospitality. However if your parents do this when they stay with you - why don;t you do it when you stay with them? Difficult for dinner (if that is a proper meal, as opposed to what me and dh call grazing, which is what we do at lunch) but, assuming parents are going to get cheese and ham out of the fridge you could say "if you don't mind I'll just pop to the shops and get ....) or I'll put a few new potatoes on/ put some jacket pots / roast veg in the oven 2 ie something that's an addition to the cheese and ham grazing thing. tbh dh and I very rarely do anything other than eat bread and salad, ham and cheese at lunch, but I guess we vary it - buy different kinds of ham, have smoked fish quite a lot, things like felafel - maybe you just need to thing of some variants on the theme of salady type lunch.

FanjoFanjoWhosGotTheFanjo · 30/07/2006 12:11

You have my sympathy, F&Z, DH's parents are a bit like this, well, they only eat English things, and aren't really comfortable with wholegrain anything (ok, bread, but that's it).

I served brown rice, last time they ate here, and made the mistake of saying it was brown, and they wouldn't eat it.

I waver between being accommodating, or trying to, and thinking, sod it, I'll serve quinoa and a spicy tofu stirfry.

(Accommodating is tricky, because a) they always expect meat and b) it must be cooked until it is a shadow of its former self.)

WideWebWitch · 30/07/2006 12:34

pmsl at suzywong. Sherlock, your attitude is commendable, I applaud you.

fisil · 30/07/2006 12:44

I had MIL fussing about what FIL would and wouldn't eat the last (and only) time they stayed here. Actually, it was also about when he would eat. WHEN? ffs - in a house with a two year old and six week old baby? He'll eat when I tell him! MIL just said he wouldn't. FIL said "I'll just pop it in the microwave later". I said "you are staying in my house, and in my house everyone eats together and the evening meal will be at 8p.m. tonight."

He was there. MIL couldn't believe it. And he put away a whole plate of bean stew, which she said he wouldn't touch.

One night we decided to (escape) go out to dinner, so I left MIL with some new pots, frozen veg and two plain pieces of frozen chicken (cos we do occassionally eat meat). I think they were very happy bunnies!

fisil · 30/07/2006 12:45

And another thing, they drank tea constantly from the moment they got up in the morning to when they went to bed at night. I kept having nightmares about the colour their wee must be!

themoon66 · 30/07/2006 12:55

Oh please don't slag off us tea drinkers. I drink more cups than I can count in a day and my wee is quite a normal colour thank you very much!

suzywong · 30/07/2006 12:56

good for your father for eating the bean stew

Ah the Tea ritual/ceremony/guilt-inducer/controlling thing

My parents are physically incapable of existing for more than 90 minutes without a cup of tea. But not just one, there must be a second. Any responsibility or task or thing can be put off until "I just need to have my second cup of tea first". And if the second cup of tea (it is always from a pot) is not proffered by whoever has the onus to take the turn to make it, than a pouting and tutting flurry will ensue.

I have only just started to drink tea myself, now that I am 12000 miles away.

themoon66 · 30/07/2006 12:57

Blimey - am i your mother Suzy??

suzywong · 30/07/2006 13:01

June?

ocd · 30/07/2006 13:02

er theri luinch sounds totally noraml
fgs
what on eath do you eat?
mung beans

NotQuiteCockney · 30/07/2006 13:03

Oh god, my ILs Must Have Tea. And I personally don't drink the stuff (no, not coffee really either. Or herbal tea. I drink water.), so they've given up and now prepare their own, even in our house.

They're only coming for dinner on Tuesday, I just have to decide which impulse will win, the "serve overcooked icky meat" one, or the "spicy tofu stir-fry with quinoa" one ...

ocd · 30/07/2006 13:04

whats wrong wiht bread anc heese for luinch?

ocd · 30/07/2006 13:04

god i dont get it

themoon66 · 30/07/2006 13:05

I must be getting old. I make tea in a pot and me and DH must have our second cups before we can do anthying else.

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