What's The Most Disgusting Thing Your Child Has Eaten (Not Food)?

[fimbles]

As I was sitting enjoying my melted chocolate swiss roll and dollop of clotted double cream cornish ice cream, guess what dd was eating to my absolute horror??

Her Poo!!!!! Oh my God, It just ruined my yummy desert completely. This is the first time it happened and hopefully last.

I was so worried, I rang NHS direct as I thought she might get food poisoning or something, they said she should be ok.

Aren't Kids just absolutely unknowingly disgusting?

Can anyone beat this?, Hope I can still enjoy my cream egg tonight.

I still think it's a lie ... I have to ... I've felt dire since I read it ...

Sorry, sorry, sorry, everyone, been out today! Yes, the child lives on a farm and found the semen in a bottle, which was intended for inseminating pigs. My friend didn't really feel like hugging or kissing her nephew for quite a while after that.

Yes, but WHAT HAPPENED TO HIM? Did he go pink, start snorting?

Well, I don't think he needed any tea that night but he was otherwise totally unaffected!

so he didn't give birth to piglets?

Absolutely INCREDIBLE!!! Again, my learning here is unsurpassed....

So, can anyone beat pig semen??? Lol

No, no piglets, but it happened when his parents were preoccupied helping a cow with a difficult delivery so I suppose you could say an 'ickle calf was the end result.

Message withdrawn

Getting back to the pig semen. How do they 'harvest' the stuff then? or is that abit too obvious? Maybe thats a job for the farmhand!

For horses they use a "teaser". (And a farmhand).

I think the poor pig lucks out with an electric tickle stick applied to his prostate (via the usual route to a prostate gland...)
I can remember my mother having hysterics during a screening of The Tales of Beatrix Potter after my baby sis got onto the cinema floor and ate a cigarette end. Now I've since heard that this could have poisoned a toddler quite badly but she was unaffected, luckily.

Bloss I love the handrail thing...

What the heck is a 'teaser'???

I swear, I'll never get over the thought of this piggy business ...

Maybe I shouldn't know what a 'teaser' is ...