I don't mind if anyone does not reply, I'm releasing my tension about the usual topic of baby not eating anything!!

[fimbles]

Please forgive me mumsnet readers for what I am about to type. Just wanted to get it out of my system about my dd of 20 months rejecting EVERYTHING I offer her to eat. This CANNOT be a phase, CANNOT be teething permanently. Where have I gone wrong? She is SO fussy, I feel like screaming at her. I've stopped cooking now for her, it all goes in the bin! She will only eat the following:

Pureed flippin' baby fruit

smooth soups (God forbid any bits in it)

That's it.

Last month she ate califlour cheese and loved it so much, now she will wretch if I put it in her mouth. Porridge is out, pasta, even crisps, biscuits, bread with honey, waffles, pancakes, pikelets, potato cakes - ALL OUT.

I'm not worried about her weight, she is very stocky, but she is a hungry baby and is disappointed at the food I offer her. Today I offered her pasta in a beefy sauce as she used to like this, Small shepherds pie from Tesco - NO, Even cake - NO!!!!!, Everything NO.

She is becoming gradually worse and I've read all yr comments re quick and easy meals, I know I will be wasting my valuable time if I attempt to cook these receipes. I feel like I must be the only Mum who HATES feeding her baby. There I've said it! _ I'll stop boring you all now as I know loads of Mum's go though this on a daily basis, but sometimes I feel I will go mad with the rejection.Thanks for reading.

fimbles i would justsay it a stage though(!)

my dd was increasingly difficult with her food but ds quite difficult aswell at this age.

do you let her feed herself?

No, you're not the only mum who hates feeding her baby (or in my case, 3yo) It is, quite frankly, a thankless task. DS2 will eat only cr*p. He can be tricked into eating most vegetables if you tell him it's broccoli but it's a tedious task and I can't be bothered most of the time.

No suggestions I'm afraid though.

Jst a little bit of support!
dd used to be great and now eats sod all! She too is perfectly fine,(ot underweight) but i have started giving her a vitamin suplement as i think she must need something!!!!
I made her simple pasta shapes with a hidden carrot today and she refused it after one mouthful!!! She's nearly 3 and i feel like you about the cooking. I love cooking though so i just try to enjoy it despite all the rejections from dd!
Hope you feel better soon!!!+++

Dear Fimbles,

This is not a phase, it's just part of motherhood. I remember DD1 eating (almost) everything from the Annabell Karmel book (even omlette, which I don't think was in there). Now she's 5, and we're down to streaky bacon for supper every night, and it HAS to be from M&S.

As long as you can forget about eating cr*p for a while, just make sure she eats a bit of carbo/fruit protein. I manage to do this with DD1, even thought some of it's a bit suspect in food value terms, IYKNOW

fimbles, of course there should be NO BITS IN IT, this would my 3y old ds say, who otherwise would be happy eating plain toast, chocolate and chips every day
(suppose 20 mo is to young to blackmail dd; "no vegetables no toast"... sometimes works, sometimes doesn/'t...)

Fimbles, you have my every sympathy. Ds1 would only eat breakfast cereal (but only at breakfast time), veg stew or pureed pear for months and months. Nearly every meal went in the bin and to this day I have no idea where he got nutrients from. I cajoled, begged, bribed and cried but nothing worked.
The best bit of advice I was given was from my (utterly brilliant) health visitor, who said to change his mealtimes to every 2-3 hours rather than the traditional times of lunch and dinner, and to just keep serving him up small (5 spoonfuls of so) portions at each mealtime. If he was hungry he'd eat it, and if not, well at least it wasn't a huge meal gone in the bin. She reminded me that babies will not starve themselves to death, and that when he was hungry he'd eat. Also to make sure that he had a drink 10 mins or so before each meal, and didn't get given biscuits or snacks between times.
He's now 3 and has improved, but is still pretty awkward. However, by feeding him little bits and often I found he was more receptive to new tastes, and once his "repertoire" was widened things got easier.
Hope this helps, and believe me, I know exactly where you're coming from.

Oh, and the HV mentioned that he might be picking up my anxieties about him not eating and using food as an emotional lever - something that would guarantee a reaction.
These babies, they might be little and cute but they can be manipulative little blighters!

yes, fio2, dd will only feed herself the pureed fruit because i taught her to feed herself on that first. She likes to feed herself but will not feed herself on the soup or any other savoury foods because I feel she thinks that is my job. I always encourage her to feed herself other foods but she is not intereted. she used to like finger foods but not anymore.

Thanks everyone for your words, This sure is the joys of motherhood!

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I do love this, like everyone else did the whole Anabel K thing, and crowed that my ds ate everything... curry, chicken sate, stew, etc etc. he then turned 18 mths and ate nothing but crap for probably the next 18 mths.

I have to say that now he is coming up on 4 and although nothing like he was is slowly (touching wood) getting better. It has not put me off doing the same with ds2 (now 10mths). I think its like the whold bfing thing (not wanting to get into this debate though) You do the best for your child for as long as poss, until you can't or they dictate differently. With bf that may be 1 day, 1 week, 1 month or 1 year. The same with food at least you know you tried.

All I can say going through this a second time if ds2 refuses food, I just leave it and try something else at the next meal time. Last time I think I cried every meal time for about 6 months

I know I know I know. It's a nightmare.

How do they survive???

Dd, 16 months, eats so frighteningly little and is so reluctant to try anything.

Like everyone else, I did everything by the book to begin with and it all went like a dream til hey presto she stopped!!

All i can say is, that she really won't starve herself. I worried about all of my kids eating at some point (still do). Now i offer them something, if they refuse it i leave it for a few minutes and then try again, if they refuse again then i remove it from the table. I hate doing it especially if i've spent ages cooking something, but you can't force them so ....

Sorry, i've just re-read that and it wasn't very helpful was it. Sorry

Sorry, i've just re-read that and it wasn't very helpful was it. Sorry

yes u r right, nutcracker. I have abou 5 reserve dishes available at tea time because i know when she refuses the first, i move swiftly onto the second and so forth. Waste of food but as long as dd eats SOMETHING, I don't care. I just feel bad because dd looks SO dissappointed at the food, I have offered her, ITS BORING!. I usually say to dd at mealtimes "it's your fault if you are eating the same meal again, I can offer u anything, blah, blah, blah. Of course she does'nt know what I'm saying but I feel that it justifies my boring menu anyway. THIS IS MOTHERHOOD - Yipeee!, Might aswell get used to it. Thanks everyone for the comments.

My eldest dd stopped eating anything green between the ages of 18 months & 4 years. Couldn't even puree it & mix it with gravy etc, she wouldn't eat it. She's now a healthy 8 year old who will eat anythng except peas (which she never ate as a baby either. Youngest dd, however, has always been horrendously fussy. I found the best way to feed her was to put things out separately on plates & let her help herself. So if we had pasta, she got a little (v little) bit in a bowl, with a few bits of cheese, ham broccoli etc to sprinkle on. She didn't eat much but did eat a greater variety this way. Also, I remember watching a program where a doctor said the average toddler eats 2 tablespoons of food A DAY, plus one good meal every 3 days, which is exactly what dd2 was doing. As long as your dd is healthy and has plenty of energy I wouldn't bother too much (easy to say now mine are 8 & 6), and if she refuses to eat just leave her until the next meal time, she may not be hungry.
Oh, I always had plenty of brown bread and butter, or fruit, so if dd2 wanted to 'graze' this was what she was offered, no cakes etc unless it was at meal time. Nothing else to say really, except it does get better, and in 4 years time you may even have forgotten all about it, 'til you see a post like this on MN & remember what a little pest she was

berries - 2 tablespoons a day? I thought you or someone else posted this somewhere else as being 7 tablespoons a day?

Glad to hear it's not just my ds. Oddly enough he eats very little at home and rejects almost everything other tham ham and bread, but when at nursery (he goes 3 days a week) they tell me he eats everything they put in front of him from chicken curry to cheese scones.

People tell you not to worry, but you do. I would love to see him tuck into a healthy meal at home but it aint happenning.

My 2 year old ate 1 cube of cheese sandwich for tea last night. Literally a mouthful and no more. She demanded fromage frais (which she does not get unless she eats what I consider to be "enough" and refused banana and raisins, which she is usually pretty keen on. Sigh......

I've given up crying about it ( and I did spend a lot of time crying!) but I understand how exasperating it is.

don't know how that winkie got there!

dd's tea tonight: about 6 flakes of grated cheese (yes, she eats them flake by flake ... sigh ...), 4oz milk, 5 teaspoons of plum and banana dessert and a 1cm cube of boiled potato.

5 whole teaspoons, evita, get off this thread!!

Tissy & Evita, you have both made me laugh, it sounds so funny when you talk about it but at the time i am so furious with dd. It's funny how we measure the quantity of their food "flakes, 1 cm cube, 1 tsp etc. etc) God, when u read back what they eat, makes u wonder why they r not starving!!

DD's tea, 6 quavers, 2 small pieces of cheese, 7 tsp prune porridge (yuk!) well she likes it, 8 tsp of veg SMOOTH soup. It's not much though as dd is a big baby.

Having read your comments I can only wait for the day she will hopefully grow out of it and I long for the day I can try and reason with her(bribe is more accurate). Thanks so much for your input. Glad I'm not alone

Evita, think it was someone else who said 7 tbls, as I am sure he said 2. However it was a long time ago, so I may have remembered it incorrectly. It struck home because he said if your toddler had a biscuit it could well provide a large portion of their daily requirements of food. Actually, dd2 (6) still doesn't eat much (probably not much more than the 7 tbls of food now), but she will have a 'hungry' day every 3 -4 days when she will eat loads. I just have to make sure I've got the shopping in for then
Oh, I also did the AK thing for both my kids. DD1 liked it, dd2 used to spit anything homemade back at me. I gave up & fed jars, much easier (although she would only eat cow & gate or organix - fussy B**r). I find when they get older, the fusspots just turn attention to something else (hair, clothes etc). Heaven help us when she gets to 13!

berries, 2 tblspns makes me feel much happier than 7!! I think we may hit that target most days. But I wonder how much milk they expect them to be having at the same time. Dd probably has around 12oz.

Yes it is truly amazing that they aren't utterly skinny and lifeless!

tissy - what yours ate would be a total mad slap up meal for dd.