The New Festive Christmas PUDDLE,

[ShakySingsMerryXmasEveryone]

Here we are, a lovely shiny, new thread just in time for Xmas.

Oh yeah - I have been suffering with back pain too (hence them querying early labour) and it turns out it is Pelvic Girdle Pain

Just waiting for a referral to physio and about to have an online shop for a support girdle.

On the plus side, Dad has loaned me his Landrover as I cant cope with the pain after 4 bus journeys each day - so whilst everyone else has struggled in the snow, I've been like Lady Muck in the lovely ol' tank

Think he may want it back eventually - will cross that bridge when it comes to it lol!

Oh brian don't blame you for focusing on les mis! Glad the boys all ok, I spent weeks 15 to birth freaking out over movements, remembering that makes me not miss pregnancy at all!

Enjoy the tank our multipla looks like it might cry if we force it out!

My ds was given formular top ups from day 1 in nicu, and I totally agree, I was so bloody useless at organising bottles etc, I used to keep one of the disposable steri bottles in my bag and a carton at all times because I'd never take enough, people think FF is an easy option, they are wrong! It requires more time and a lot of head space which I lack!

We booked our first holiday as a family last week, only a cheapo through the sun, but its on a lovely haven site, I can't wait! The kids are SO excited, we got them a money tin each (those ones you have to use a can opener to get into) to save up, they managed to con £3 each out of grandma 10 minutes of buying them for helping her tidy, her rates are too damn high! Dd found 5p today and asked to do a job so it could go in her tin, I had her put away all her and ds clean underwear and Lilys bits too, I will give her a bit extra on friday for that
Then at my aunts they clocked her change jar, they have no shame my children, its nice to see them so excited and motivated even so.

Sorry to hear you're having a tough time Brian and tell BabyBrian to cut it out! Move you little stinker, stop worrying your mama!!!

We are staying home today. The blizzard has hit Belfast. Never seen the like around here!

School is back open again today, but I've kept Ds1 off anyway. I'm too ill to struggle there through the snow, and I'd have to put baby dreamy in the sling as there's no chance I could manage to push the pram through it. I just don't have the strength.

State, what is your opinion on the Mai Tei? Do you find the close baby carrier better? Why? I chose a peanut shell, which is great, but I keep hearing good things about the Mai Tei.

state loving your children's chutzpah! They will go far

How exciting re your holiday, I did a Haven Sun holiday once when DD was 3, we loved it. Very expensive on site for food/drinks so try and take what you can with you or see what is offsite. Also, shiny/sparkly tat at premium cost - you know the stuff the kids absolutely have to have until they forget about it when you're home and you find it crumpled/broken in the bottom of a box somewhere

Another rubbish day here (although no snow, so not as bad as some). DD playing up, me having enough and reaching the end of my tether.

Just so fed up but I know I will feel better tomorrow or in a few days! Hopefully.

Hope all snow-filled Puddlers are keeping safe/warm.

Best get some work done.....

dreamy I just didn't get on with the mei tei, wasn't confident enough in my knotting skills, and the bit where baby sits seemed to loose for dd, mei tei in strechy fabric I think would be excellent but mines woven, personal preference though as I got it after loads of mums at toddler group when dd1 was small loved there's. The close caboo is just perfect, honestly we've had about 5 different slings/cariers now and nothing compares, its soo comfy as its over both shoulders, one made my back hurt, really quick and easy to put on and off, very secure and snug for dc, I just love it, I've never managed to walk far using one before but took Lily to get ds from school in ours and got back and didn't have any back ache or uncomfortable patches on the straps etc, and lily slept the whole time! Also going from sitting/standing etc doesn't loosen the sling or affect its posistion. Can you tell I love it?
Hope you feel much better soon xx

brian they're cheeky sods! Were off to see my Mum when ds finishes school and dds money tin appeared by the front door, I've hidden it now little madam! Our plan with the tat/merchandise/arcades --typical seaside holiday shite-- was the money in there tins in there's, they want something stupid fine its out of there money. We also have a tin for change as they are both obsessed with the penny pushers.
We've already planned to have two meals a day at the caravan or a picnic, mainly because my dcs turn feral when they eat too much junk and also they eat alot atleast Lilys a cheap date, pram and a boob and she's sorted for the week! We've not been to caister before but have been to plenty of places a few minutes drive away so know a few good cheap places to eat.

I saw on fb you'd had a bit of a morning with dd, my ds does stuff like that, makes out he's helping but he's doing it to be defiant, wonderful aren't they!

I'm sick of the sodding snow now as our roads terrible but we HAD to get out today (see earlier point about greedy kids) as we'd ran out of fruit and salad bits.

Also popped to HV clinic to talk about Lilys screamy hour she has, weighed her and she's gained 1lb5oz in 11 days so is now 10lb5oz

Glad Lily's screaming isn't affecting her eating. Did the HV have any ideas?

Well, it's been snowing off and on here but everyone says the main roads are clear so hopefully that's back to it tomorrow. Weirdly, LT's school was open but the college on the same campus was closed. I'm glad we stayed home, though.

HV has suggested waking her an hour earlier than her screamy time which ill try out, atleast the swaddling etc has reduced to an hour instead of several. She's also going to let me HV know as it was just clinic today so a different one, and she's coming out next week for 6wk check and to talk about it. I'm totally clueless, its just so strange that she's so content all day and then for 1/2hrs at night she is utterly distraught nothing calms her, she won't eat or anything! And its not an in pain cry its her usual one.

Our main roads are all clear, our road is a bit bad but dp braved it before we all went loopy. Dd is back at nursery thank goodness!

Tee - just saw 'outside' of Belfast (random) on the 6 o'clock News - looks pretty hairy, although it did appear to be countryside so if you are more city based hopefully the roads won't be as treacherous.

Our snow has long since gone (well, there are patches of icy-snow everywhere) but it is bitterly cold. We are protected by the Penines here so don't tend to get lots, our recent 3 inches was immense compared to most years

State re Lily's crying - I may be wrong (usually am) but I thought it was the norm for some young babies to have a 'crying time'. I had it with DD, every night from 6pm ish to 7 sometimes 8. Heartbreaking, but nothing wrong with her and eventually she grew out of it (within weeks). I was lucky in that I lived with my parents at the time and they would each take a turn with me to walk up and down, up and down, up and down, trying to soothe her. Mum always said that it was normal and I had been the same...? I just took that as red (never thought to question it...oh lord! What damage have I done?? )

All the memories are coming flooding back to me

Had my Whooping Cough jab today - bloody arm is killing me! Feel a bit better about things at the moment, but only because DD has gone out to her friend's and then came in and said she'd been invited for tea. I let her go with a joyous heart and now feel guilty. Friend's mum had also bought her sweets, I had said earlier 'no sweets' (friend's mum not to know). So I am the Ogre and other mum is Queen of All Things Nice

My mum said to tell DD that unless she bucks her ideas up, I am to take her there every single evening after school and pick her up again just before bed time. I have yet to use this threat, I am biding my time - the opportunity will arise, probably between 7pm and 8pm this evening.

In other news, I am knitting Boy a blanket and for a novice knitter it is coming along quite nicely. It is navy blue and dark teal stripe. I then have my order for another blanket for DD's baby doll

Bye for now! (and thank you for keeping me sane ish )

So, time to come in was 7pm. At 7.45 I got dressed and went to collect her from friend's house (is 6 houses away but on another street). I decided to not be angry, asked her why she hadn't come home.

Am a boring mum. Am not fun. I never want to play with her.

This is true, I do try and I am loving but I am not very good at 'playing' and never have been. I try but half the time she isn't interested anyway. Plus, I am not able to play most things at the moment (snow ball fights/Wii Just Dance).

She wants to live with her nan.

I feel great right now.

Everything I do revolves around her, every failure I make I judge myself on how it will affect her.

I feel like she is punishing me.

Normally I would talk to my mum and cry down the phone at her. I can't do that as mum has spent the day crying behind closed curtains as she is battling her own problems.

Sorry, don't want to bring the tone of the thread down

*was not dressed as had been lying on the sofa with a hot water bottle on my lower back to relieve the back pain that I can't take anything other than paracetamol for.... just wanted to clarify that I was not being a slob

Brian, stop apologizing. You haven't brought anything down. Is she having problems with the boy, even if she's excited? Can you find something quiet you can do together? Read? Puzzles? Colour?

I hate playing as well and can't sit on the floor for long, but LT and I do puzzles together for at least an hour at a time. Or read a book or something where Mummy can sit in a chair!

And the whole rest of NI is outside Belfast. Where we are is fine. LT is back to school tomorrow!

I need to think of something I can do that is low impact/energy. Thing is I suggest stuff and she instantly comes up with an alternative that ultimately means I have to clean/tidy the mess (Moon Sand, Painting, Baking). I will do that, but during the week I am exhausted and just recently I am in pain so yes I am crap right now - I've a low opinion of myself right now.

She ended up speaking to my mum (who phoned at the wrong moment!) and all I got after their 5 min conversation was a begrudged "sorry") I tried to rise above it, got her to bed on time (after the debacle of yesterday's late night) and I read her a chapter of her book. Still got attitude when I told her to stop singing and go to sleep. It is now 9.15 and she is currently drawing in bed - I have told her since 8.30 it is sleep time. It is like having a toddler again. If I push it, she comes back with attitude, I rise to the bait and a shouty row ensues.

I am just so fed up with it all.

I have a to-do list to give to her for the morning (simple one, listing what she has to do before TV - eat breakfast, clear dishes, get dressed, brush teeth) and I am about to do a meal plan for the next week, I have been lax with meals (quick n easy, nutrition almost zero) and this has to be a contributory factor.

Of course, Friend's Mum took them to MacDonald's this evening for tea. So sweets, MacD's and then comes home and I'm crap. She has had a treat even though she has been a swine.

Oh well, wish me luck - tomorrow is another day eh?

Thank you for reading/letting me de-steam

Have you seen this..

NHS meal planner

My boss told me about it (she uses it). You chose your meals each day from a selection, then some healthy snacks, then it creates a shopping list (joy) and a meal planner for the week.

Amazing.

I have done meal planning before but this is good because it tells you quantities of each thing on your shopping list so you don't over/under buy.

Thought I'd share and I promise to not post again this eve or you will have to rename it "Brian's Puddle of Woe n Stuff"

I'm sorry you're having a tough time Brian. I have no advice as I have all this yet to come. I wonder if her friends mum plays with her Dd though? I bet she doesn't really, your Dd sounds like she's angry and upset about something (your Boy?) and is just lashing out in any way she can. I made pancakes today, have some to cheer you up. Would you like lemon and sugar, Golden Syrup, or Nutella?

Hope the HV's advice works for you tonight State. I think Brian is right though, some babies just have an hour or 2 where they cry, and there's really not much you can do, apart from tell yourself that it does't last forever! Pancakes for you too!

Pancakes for all!

mmm can I have Golden Syrup and then one with Nutella please?

Just speaking to mum and I did say I feel like she is punishing me for being pregnant. We came to the conclusion that I just have to get on with things and repeat the mantra "do not rise to the bait".

Also decided that punishments will be short and sweet (although mum wasn't too keen on me locking DD in the shed overnight - spoilsport!) So, grounding is a last resort and done on a day-by-day basis (opposed to YOU ARE GROUNDED FOR A WEEK, then giving in after 2 days and letting her out) so if she behaves I will let her out the next day, but if she continues to be naughty she remains grounded IYSWIM.

I have to let certain things lie and not get wound up about stupid stuff - ie the state of her bedroom (this is hard, I hate that it gets so disgusting!)

I will read to her each night (always did but haven't done this much this past year - no idea why)

Chose an hour each afternoon/eve to play a game/do drawing or craft.

I also have to stop being a grumpy and pathetic arse and get on with it

So, meal planner done and above points to work towards.

Meh. I need wine.

Dreamy - DD's friend is one of 7! (age range 19 to 2) I doubt their mum has time to breathe let alone play

for Brian. Sounds like a plan.

Just realised I've never used the wine emote before!

Blimey! No I'd imagine not!

Well, the eldest is 19 and then there's a 12 yr old, 10, 7, 5, 3, and finally the 2 year old. Plus DD today - who will have been delightful I am sure (as they are prone to be when they are away from home!)

I do have her DD virtually living here though (is probably quieter here lol!) and feed her at least once a week.

Me and the other mum have never even said hello to each other - bizarre! I try and catch her eye at school but she either avoids or is shy. Not that I want to be her bessie or anything, but as we regularly exchange daughters you'd think the odd 'Hi' wouldn't go amiss

Don't you find that weird? Ds1 is only 3.8, so I go with him to friend's houses/parties still, but the thought of him going to someone's house who's mum has never even spoken to me terrifies me! I want to vet them!

Pancakes sound amazing!

Can't see how the HVs advice will work when she's cluster fed on and off since 5.30ish and got distraught twice. Maybe its our bleary eyed uslessness making the night shouting meaning we aren't as good at settling her. Holding her sitting in The ikea poang chair is working tonight.

I think its glaringly obvious its been too long since I had a child who couldn't say why they are crying!

Brian huge hugs xxx your pregnant your allowed to feel a bit overwhelmed.
Fwiw (and I know your dd is much older) my dds been giving me A LOT of stick since dd2 arrived, I am mean and horrible and I never spend any time with her (NOT true) and ill just add my name to the 'no good at playing club' Dd1 spent the whole drive to my Mums acting out, hanging out of her seat, licking the car window, putting her feet on dps headrest, I gave her warning after warning and finally said No way was she having something from Grandmas tin (seen the mr kipling advert?) Anyway I turn my back and dd proudly thrusts a bloody lolly in my face, cheers for the support Mum. Oh and she randomly screamed on the way home saying she wanted to wake Lily, sometimes you just have to cry, take a deep breath and hope tomorrows better.
Anyway wasn't one of the puddles rules that were nice to pregnant people, and since me and dreamy graduated you get the niceness x 3!

Will check that food planner out next time I'm on the laptop, were stuck in a rut again but I've managed to add to the freezer of lazy meals, got a bigger chicken for sunday lunch and stripped the left overs for a curry, made a cottage pie today, well the meat bit to freeze, will do mash tomorrow to freeze seperately, already got bolognese in there, its mainly for the dcs as the time between school and bed with Lily added is tight so I don't want to waste it in the kitchen! Sounds sad but I like having a stockpile ready,

Sounds a good plan brian

I left ds at a friends for the first time recently, luckily we've spoken to her parents since first day of reception, and been round for a cuppa etc chat quite a lot but its really usefull we get on as we help one another out with school runs, like last week the day we registered Lily school opened an hour late so ds went round before school, today we collected there dd2 who's in nursery with dd1 as there other 2 dds are ill, were kinda in the same boat none of us want to live here all just waiting to escape and were new here at the same time and regarded with disgust by the clique.

I was the Queen of PFB with DD

I do find it weird, which is why I want to say hi, but she has been to other friend's houses (class mates) and I may know their mum to say 'hello' to but no more.

I think there is an age when it becomes weird for the mums to go along (plus the children don't want you there either).

I've had lots of children round who's parents I don't know (other than by sight in the playground).

I do remember saying I would never let DD out of the front garden on her own. I think she was 6 when she actually did venture out (stayed in our street) with her friends. There was a group of about 8/9 of the neighbour's children so I was happy with that. Venturing out of the street -that has been happening more since last summer (so 8.5). I was very, very, very, reluctant and very PFB about it, but at some point you have to let the apron strings slacken I suppose! It wasn't easy.

Problem is, when their friends come and knock for her I can't turn them away so I either let her have contact with her friends or lock her away in her room.

It's much easier in winter as I can keep her in, with 1 friend (the limit!) the PFB strikes again as I will put up with another child in the house if it means I know exactly where DD is. Although, she is only allowed to 2 friend's houses and even then she isn't allowed to play 'out' once it is dark. She also has strict limits on how far she can go from the street (basically the 2nd friend's house which is across a quiet road).

I do worry when she is out, constantly. I just look back to my childhood and I think my mum only saw me when I was hungry, cold or tired (or all 3). Other than that there was a tribe of children that would play the days away, come rain/hail or shine!

Anyway wasn't one of the puddles rules that were nice to pregnant people, and since me and dreamy graduated you get the niceness x 3! I like this rule!!

I suppose, in the absence of a live-in partner to send to the Twat Bench, I can contribute my rants about DD Although give it time, I am sure exP will annoy me in some way and I will rant (can't imagine how as he is being delightful, calm and kind). I swear the only reason we get on so well is because we are not a couple

The one thing that brings me comfort, is other mums to 9 yo DD's say they are the same with defiance and attitude. Obviously I have the added bonus of a new addition to add to the pot.

Apparently children are delightful - once they reach 18

Good luck with Lily this evening, I hope she gives you some respite from the sobs!