Anyone ever persevered with the 'eat it or starve' method of feeding kids?

[Pagan]

I'm tired of cooking pesto pasta for my 2 year old who seems to like nothing else unless it comes out of a tin and is bright orange in colour. She used to have a great appetite and would eat anything. She seems to get by on virtually nothing some days then on other days eats well but tonight I had made a really nice cheesy pasta with chicken and she refused to touch it so I said she wasn't getting anything else if she couldn't eat it. That's her off to bed now with virtually no food other than some dates and raisins since lunchtime.

blueshoes - snap!

"if you don't want it just leave it on the side of your plate darling."

I have tried shepherd's pie, fish pie, lasagne, the usual suspects. But the strange thing is while dd will have seconds of these things at nursery, if she eats even one spoonful at home, I count myself lucky. Maybe I'm just a bad cook! Yes, there are days when dd might not be able to get enough of a particular dish. But the next day, she won't even let one spoonful near her. It is just too difficult to predict what she will or will not have in her. She also will rarely sit at the table for longer than 3 minutes at home - nor play by herself when we are having dinner. So dh and I have dinner after she goes to bed.

I know one school of thought would be utterly shocked at her lack of eating graces. But as I said before, dd toes the strict mealtime/snacktime/table line at nursery and is better at others' homes. But for some reason, she is a busy grazer at home. Should I starve her and force her to sit at the table? I believe that it will come in time - as with entertaining herself more and just becoming a normal human being. But in the meantime, food has never been an issue in my house.

fisil, yup, she can leave her food if she doesn't want it. But that is likely to mean she doesn't eat any and wants to get down the next second. And then dragging us off the dinner table to play with her. But she might manage a few spoonfuls later when she is hungry later. Hence harpsi's "running buffet"!

ds eats so much better if somebody eats with him. So I have my dinner with him and then if he finishes quickly (which lets face toddlers dont want to sit up at a table when they could be playing) he has to sit and wait for me to finish first.
I have found that this encourages him to eat.
If eating at the same time is tricky (for instance you have to wait and eat later with partner) then have a snack - and eat slowly! lol

I usually insist that my ds1 and 2 at least try what I've cooked. Usually they will eat it if they try it. I agree with the no snacks rule but will give my kids carrot sticks or similar for snacks if they whine for food half an hr before it is ready (common). Find this more difficult on days that I work though as all of these things seem insurmountable if you are tired.

Food shouldn't be an issue but on the other hand I don't think we mums should be cooking several alternatives every night or just feeding kids the same thing every day for fear of kids not eating anything else.

Havn't read the whole thread, and my kids will fortunately eat anything at the mo, but our 'policy' as such is
they can choose to eat or not eat whatever is served,
if they eat a bit of it they can have the usual portion of whatever is served for pudding (if not, they can't)
plus they can ask for bread/cheese/fruit any time
but I would refuse to serve the same dinner over and over personally

I am desperate!My son is 6and a half and his eating is really bad.I expect its my fault somewhere along the line..but he is so stubborn and i have reached my wits end and wonder if i should take him to the doctor or will that make things worse?
He has no problems eating crappy stuff so its not like he is afraid to eat.I feel really worried about it.Any ideas?

Glad I found this thread- posted similar message today re: ds going through a phase of refusing homecooked meals. I try to do the 'oh well, that's it and nothing till your next meal, down from the table' but its so hard. I revert to guilt trips on him 'mummy has spent a long time..(i know ) and 'just three more mouthfuls and..'
We've tried to be quite relaxed with ds1 about food as he had (has) allergies we didn't want to give him even more hangups about food, but I really feel the pressure when I'm at my parents or sisters house. My sis is of the 'you're not moving till you've eaten ..' school and was actually gloating that she'd kept her ds at the table for 45 mins until she ate some more tea...fgs what is the point of that? SO they eat a mouthful more - what have you proven, apart from that you like to exert control over them?
I'm so pleased to hear that the strategy of not making a fuss and not forcing htem to eat when they don't wantto actually works. I will persevere over this weekend and be a chilled out mamma.

briefly yes and no one died :)

well yes, basically, but my kids do eat quite well.

We don't do puddings in this house (am too lazy), nor have any junk food in. And they're always allowed snacks, but thats oatcakes/fruit/cheese etc.

Don't ever cook seperate meals but if one of them really wanted something and the rest didn't mind (and I won't eat crap out of a tin, I'm already knackered w/o eating shite), I'm happy to accomodate. The furthest I'd go is taking out a portion before adding a hated ingredient (eg dh hates celery, ds hates marmite)

ds who is 2.5 will normally "help" with food + we bake 2 or 3 times a week.

Oooh, I am a yummy mummy!

also, if they don't eat, they're free to get down from the table but we're not going to interupt our meal. THink they can decide for themselves if they're hungry or not.

watching this with interest. Do you think it would work on a nearly 4 year old very stubborn boy?

Used to eat really well (all my homemade things) but bit by bit he rejected them and is down to:

bread products
chicken nuggets
chips
yoghurt
cheese dippers
apple/banana sometimes
frankfurters.

At my wits end - need a strategy and am wondering about the eat it or be hungry strategy.