I screwed up a dinner party

[stella1w]

The soup was cold, and tasted of earth (bought prepared from posh shop), I put the jacket potatoes on in advance to be organised and they all shrivelled, the salad I made was tasteless and the steak I bought was just dreadful. A guest brought dessert and that was the only thing people ate with any enthusiasm. I,ve never been able to cook but I used (prekids) to be able to throw something respectable together even if some of it was store-bought. In my defence, I was trying to get a 10 month down for much of the evening, but even so, it was a pathetic meal.
If anyone has a foolproof dinner party menu for someone who can't cook, let me know!

Yes lurkerspeaks

Nigel Slater's recipes always work. 'Appetite' is a great book as is his 'Kitchen Diaries'.

That sounds lovely, lurkerspeaks. I'd far rather have simple, tasty food with lots of wine than worry about which fork to use or how to eat what I've been served like the boiled quails' eggs a friend once served.

The last 'dinner party' I had was burritos - I'm well classy, me.

I tried to cook a fillet steak for DH's birthday once. There was so much smoke even with all the windows open that we had to walk with a stoop so we could see where we were going

Marks place.

I went to a dp once and all the food was green - avocados for starters, broccoli something for main and I can't even think now what the green dessert might have been. The hostess thought it was a good idea initially, but became embarrassed as dinner progressed. It was a bit odd, but it didn't matter, we'd gone to see her and have a good time.

Are You Being Unreasonable about what?

Agree with cold starter (mezze, asian beef salad, gazpacho in summer etc)
Agree with slow cooked main
I always think Eton mess is a bit of a can't be arsed pudding when I am served it (sorry folks), especially if the strawberries aren't totally lush (let's face it, there is a very small window when they are) and shop bought meringues are too dry. The pudding that always gets the most compliments and seems to get hoovered up is the fresh raspberry bakewell tart from Nigella's How to Eat - even from people who don't like bakewell tart.

I have said Fuck It and ordered a pizza before at a messed up dinner party.

We just opened a couple of more bottles of wine and had a good night.

Your friends don't care, and if they do care, they are not your friends.

Atreegrowsinbrooklyn

That all sounds incredible! I'd love your cornbread and crab tart recipes please?

Jo Pratt's book In The Mood for Food has a few really easy, but delicious and impressive dinner party menus. DH often uses them as he loves to entertain but can't just throw a menu together like I do.

Actually I really recommend the book for every day too. The chianti-baked meatballs are the best I've ever had, and I haven't cooked a duff meal from it yet.

LycheeMartini

Here is the cornbread recipe. I'll go look up my crab tart recipe and post in a minute!

• The cornbread recipe I originally followed uses the American cup measuring system but the one below is the same. You can leave out the sugar if you want cornbread like they eat in the Deep South. In the more northern states, they often add sugar. Feel free to experiment and add some Jalopeno peppers, small diced sweet peppers, spring onions, chile powder etc. It is so forgiving. They taste great cut in half and eaten warm spread with butter but we tend to just pour chile over them or dip them into it!

www.bbc.co.uk/food/recipes/cornbread_86386

Hi there, we've moved this into Food. Thanks.

Has this thread been moved because someone complained it wasn't in the right place, the fearful little tick?!

Just like those people at school who'd tell the Hallway Monitor that someone has their shirt untucked or was wearing the wrong braid on their blazer or something has read too much Malory Towers

LycheeMartini

Crab, Asparagus & Parmesan Tart

250g packet of shortcrust pastry
3 medium eggs
284ml pot single cream
small pinch Cayenne pepper (optional)
100g Parmesan cheese, grated
1 dresses crab (or dress it yourself)
1 medium spring onion, chopped small
bunch Asparagus- about 6-8 spears, thinner spears are best.

Preheat oven to 200C, gas 6.
Line a 23 cm flan/tart/low sided pie dish with 250g of ready made or home made shortcrust pastry. Bake blind for 15 minutes (fill with baking beads or prick pastry base with fork all over). Remove from oven to await filling.

In large bowl, whisk together eggs, cream, cayenne, and 3/4 of the grated cheese. season lightly with salt and pepper.
Put the crab meat into the base of the pastry case and spread it evenly over.
Pour the egg/milk mixture over the crabmeat into the blind baked pastry case. Then scatter the asparagus spears (trim the spears to give you pieces with just the head and 1cm of spear below it) over the mixture. Scatter remaining 1/4 of Parmesan over.
Place on baking tray and bake in oven for 15-20 mins or until just set and golden brown. It will look a little wobbly and sets further once out.

This can be made with individual tart cases also.

You can cock up chocolate mousse actually

If you add the choc to the eggs while it is still warm, it will part-cook the eggs and you'll get lumps.

Oh Bletchley

Yeah I suppose there are potential pitfalls...microwaving the chocolate to a molten lump of grease would be another.

It's ok it was years ago when I know no better. We had ice cream!

If I make a chocolate cake, I stick to French style damp cakes because they are more forgiving. However in the US, fights could occur over who got the 'sad streak'- that lesser cooked streak of cake dough running through the middle of pound cakes!

AtreegrowsinBrooklyn

Thank you so much! Will most definitely be making that this weekend!

Ooh I just spotted the cornbread one too, amazing! Thanks.

I has a leeeetle too much wine once and the risotto was only half cooked.

Glad to help, lycheeMartini

What kind of steak did you use, and how did you cook it?

Even when the PIL come over for dinner on christmas eve (my most formal dinner invite of the year traditionally) I still don't do a starter, it's too hard to make sure the veg doesn't get overcooked and everything stays hot.

I tend to do a main course, cheese course and a pudding.