school dinners v packed lunches ....

[Tusky]

What do you think is the best for a four year old starting Reception next week ? I am really torn between the two - on one hand I know that he'll probably eat a reasonable amount of what I make in his lunchbox, but I also think that maybe starting off at school with dinners (ie. the queueing/choosing what he has/eating with knives and forks etc - as opposed to picking at bits of pasta salad and bread - ) might be quite a good thing too - so what am I to decide ? The teachers weren't terribly illuminating on the subject,so I don't know what the food is like,though there is a choice. I have until Friday to decide !

I can only answer for myself personally, but my 2 school age children have both always had packed lunches. I find it more settling to know exactly what they have eaten so that I can balance their diet (well, in theory anyway!). Also, to start with, I felt that there would be so much new stuff to get used to at school, that having familiar food in their familiar lunch box would be easier than having to get used to the rules etc. of school dinners. Being a complete softy, I was also concerned about how they would handle it if there was nothing they liked for school dinners. But that's probably me just being a worrying mother!

Whatever you decide though, it's a good idea to give your son some practice. If you choose school dinners, check on his understanding of table manners (not that I'm suggesting you haven't taught him any!) and if you can find out how the children queue and choose their meals, even better. If you choose packed lunches, give him lunch at home a couple of times in his lunch box, so you can ensure he can open his drink bottle, crisps, yoghurts and other containers, tell him what to do with the empty wrappers (bring them back home in the lunchbox, for example), etc.

Hope that helps!

Jane - moderator

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Tusky, why dont you give him packed lunches until he asks for school dinners. You might find when his friends are having dinners he might like to try them too. The children I look after decide from day to day and week to week whether they have packed lunches or dinners. This week the little girl is having packed lunches because she is on late dinner and wont get as much time or choice. They always seem to have nice school dinners when they have them and not so hungry when they get out of school.

thanks everyone for all the ideas so far - I think also that my perhaps my slightly excessive worrying about whether to go for school dinners or packed lunch is to do with the fact that he's off to school at last (he's my only child too,so it's a milestone in that I won't be doing it again with another little one- sob !) -
I can see the plus points of having a familiar lunch from home, but I also think he might benefit from trying something new...still undecided !

As RobinW says, I think it's a really good idea to have a word with the school meals supervisor or a friendly dinner lady. They'll know what goes on in practise - the standard of table manners, the types of food actually eaten as opposed to just what the menu offers.

My son is lucky enough to be able to choose a school dinner or packed lunch from day to day. Despite my entreaties to eat the piece of fruit I always pack in his lunchbox, an uneaten and bruised remnant comes back with alarming frequency. Knowing my son's eating habits, I know he is more likely to eat the cooked fruit and vegatables in a school lunch, rather than the raw ones I pack for him. I know our school has also had a big 'healthy eating 'drive recently. So for us, lunch boxes are not the most healthy option, and I limit how many my son has.

Talking to my friends, we have observed that at a range of primary schools in our area, it's the children from families who see themselves as middle class who tend to have packed lunches for health reasons. Children from poorer families or from families who don't regard themselves as middle class, tend to have school lunches - partly because, in many cases, they are paid for. Even my son sees the school lunch brigade in this light. A fact I found very surprising. I don't know if this is true elsewhere.

My boys are a nightmare at lunchtimes. They don't seem to like school meals much - and most of their friends have packed lunches so thats more sociable for them. I hate trying to think of new and interesting things for them, and have decided that unless they complain about the lack of variety then things are probably OK. Every now and then they start to eat the dessert/sweet stuff and leave the sandwiches, and we go onto a routine where they help me do the boxes - a sandwich, a yoghurt, a piece of fruit, a drink and choc biscuit or crisps. After a few days they get a bit bored of all the effort, and eat what I give them. But I wish the school insisted on hot food (it would also mean I would worry less about what to feed them when I get back from the office!)

My dd's started school last week. I felt that I would prefer them to have something cooked during the winter, so started them on lunches straight away. I felt that it would be easier to stop if it was really unsuccessful, and that it would be easier for them if they started at the same time as their peers. They say they 'love ' the meals. There is the option to choose from day to day if you wish. They seem reasonably varied...baked potatoes with cheese, and vegetables one day, followed by yoghurt, today they say it was 'spicy casserole and cake'. The school discourages 'unhealthy ' food, e.g. snacks are expected to be fruit or vegetables.

Snap! My boy doesn't like much, so I am giving him a packed lunch which is cheaper anyway. I am terrified he won't eat properly, but that stems from my own terror at school.

He has already decided that he wants carrot sticks, a bag of crisps (I'll get him those WalkerMax ones) an apple, a Dairylea sandwich and a yoghurt. I've told him he can't have the same everyday but we'll cross that when we come to it!

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Our eldest has had school lunches since she started school last year, and to be honest I don't think that it would work out any cheaper giving her a packed lunch. It costs £4.75 for 5 lunches at school, and they are very good balanced meals, mind you I went to the same Primary school and the food was always good!!
The food is very varied, as in there is one day that they have a choice of vegetarian meals which I think is a good thing. Ours is just a small school, do the larger Primaries have such a variety as well?

I don't think it matters if children eat the same thing every day. I've eaten Weetabix for breakfast every morning for I don't know how many years!

A mixture is a bit better though. I'll attempt to tempt him with other fruit as well as apples.

Tigermoth - my son's lunchbox sounds so similar - the squished, half chewed piece of friut!
He too can choose day to day but I found that he was making unhealthy choices, and seemingly getting no guidance or encouragement to eat healthily. Consequently, he was starting to put on weight , which did alarm me at 8 years old! He now has packed lunches, and school dinner once a week - pizza day! His infant school was brilliant, and hopefully, younget son will beencouraged to eat well. He's the fussiest eater on the planet!!
Tigger - WHERE do you live? Hampshire school dinners are over £6 a week !!!!!!!!!

I agree with Tigger2. Try school dinners and see how you go on. At our school many children are on free lunches and those paying pay £6.50 a week (don't know why ours are dearer), do the youngsters really care or know? There should be no stigma either way. Its more about hassle free eating (no making up a box every day, worrying about keeping sandwiches cool in summer, and not having to do a hot meal at night. )An added bonus (though I am still waiting to see the full benefits) is extra practice with a knife and fork. If your child is having difficulty (mine was/is) a word in the ear of a dinner helper might calm any worries on that score.
Our school is a 45 year intake. They have three choices of food inc veggie option. The meals rotate on a four weekly basis. In reception last term I asked the teacher to post the meal list on the parents board so you can compare notes ie what did you eat today and not feed them the same thing twice in a day eg nuggets... If the child eats all his/her dinner they get a stamp on the back of the hand. This has been a good incentive for a youngster and also helps the parents.

I get anxious whenever I talk about school meals. Being a veggie at school was a nightmare, and as I was on free meals I had to have what was there, sometimes nothing. I was force fed at one school. Yes this is against the law but when you are little you don't think of things like that.

Meals here are 6.75 a week. I hadn't realised there was such a range of charges. Today was cheese and sweetcorn quiche, baked potatoes and carrots. They continue to be a great success, and the girls complain that there are no 'seconds'!
Suew i've worked out IMO, but what is IYSWIM?

Mel
what did you do about your son putting on weight? Mine is 9, ravenous and weighs 6st 6 - he's definitely overweight but not yet fat. His 7yr old brother eats exactly the same and is like a stick. We are cutting out sweets, biscuits and chocolate except as an occasional treat, and have tried to boost his exercise level - to no avail yet. I keep hoping he's putting on weight to fuel a growth spurt, like babies do. DOes anyone have any experience on this?

Copper, my eldest dd has always grown out then up, when she starts getting chubby around the face I start buying new trousers! We do have to be a bit careful though, as its easy to assume she will grow out of it when sometimes it is just down to too many cakes & biscuits. BTW our school meals are £7.25 per week! However, the school is part of a 'healthy eating' initiative, which means chips are only allowed once per week, and there is a real emphasis on healthy food, so I don't mind paying a bit more - didn't realise there was so much variation though.

Does your infant school provide or allow parents to provide a mid-morning snack or drink? This does not happen at my chidrens school and their are differing views on the subject from parents and teachers - is there a norm?