no frills, gorg tasty larvelly mash - HOW can i stop my in laws from complaining - or myself from telling them to F*ck the F8ck OFF?

[Tortington]

we have the pleasure of dh's side of the family coming over for xmas.

once we roasted vegetables - and that was toooooooooo fancy for them - roasted parsnip? lord no - its fancy it must be foreign or posh

lord help me

so my step neice (17) continually makes jibes about lumpy mash.

tbh i don'[t know why i put myself through this shit, its an excuse for them to be rude, unappreciative and crass.

i wouldn[t dream of saying their cooking was shit - and it is.

anyway.

so im not going to add anything fancy to the mash like chives or creaaaam....must be butter only.

so i think its got something to do with the mashing technique, i have previously used a hand held basic mashing impliment. and a fork.

i do have a whizzer, not a mixer thingy but a whizzer - not a food processor exactly - a whizzer

i also have a hand held electric thingy - should i buy something else to make unlumpy mash to shut them the fuck up

Give them Smash, the ungrateful buggers.

Apologies if that is not helping

Potato ricers are good but personally telling them to fuck the fuck off sounds better...

I use a potato ricer and it really works.

Use the DH method, when my parents complained he said "this is our house, this is what we like, this is what we do. If you don't like it you don't have to visit us."

Never had any issues after that.

Do roast veg for yourselves, boiled for them, and let them mash the spuds themselves if they want to.

Or get some Smash. That's not lumpy. Bung in some extra butter and these philistines will probably love it.

A potato ricer is the perfect thing to make unlumpy mash. Not that I have one, it's lumps all the way in my house and nobody has ever complained.

You could use Smash.

Or you could tell them not to be rude.

If you want less lumpy mash then I recommend a potato ricer - you can get them in Ikea or Amazon and prob other places.

If it is just for their sake then just tell them how hurtful their comments are.

Just do boiled new potatoes - that'll teach them for complaining about lumps!

mash BEFORE, i repeat BEFORE, adding butter milk etc. also a ricer is good

I think a potato ricer. Make sure potatoes are really cooked. And then push through a sieve if you want really silky mash. Watched it on Australian Masterchef last night!

Cook the potatoes for longer until really soft.

you need a rices

or <a class="break-all" href="http://www.google.co.uk/imgres?imgurl=2.bp.blogspot.com/_ED_xmanimDQ/TE9RremxPvI/AAAAAAAAAiA/Qb2PD7W_z14/s1600/Arsenic%2B(Small).jpg&imgrefurl=clarissadraper.blogspot.com/2010/07/mystery-writers-guide-to-forensic_27.html&usg=__Y0s8e8dZuWnbwoOfvQz5wguoTKo=&h=480&w=417&sz=26&hl=en&start=0&zoom=1&tbnid=rKxJO_L-ylPcOM:&tbnh=125&tbnw=109&prev=/images%3Fq%3Darsenic%26um%3D1%26hl%3Den%26sa%3DN%26rlz%3D1T4DSGK_enGB393GB394%26biw%3D1345%26bih%3D555%26tbs%3Disch:10%2C165&um=1&itbs=1&iact=hc&vpx=826&vpy=46&dur=312&hovh=241&hovw=209&tx=98&ty=105&ei=F9D_TIPyLI2zhAe0-ITLCQ&oei=F9D_TIPyLI2zhAe0-ITLCQ&esq=1&page=1&ndsp=24&ved=1t:429,r:13,s:0&biw=1345&bih=555" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">this

I have a potato ricer but I am not allowed to use it because dh complains it makes the mash lumpy . I don't know what he is on about. However, he does do lovely unlumpy mash himself with a perfectly ordinary masher and just mashes it a lot till all the lumps are gone.

You need the right kind of potatoes. King Edwards are good (they also make good roasties) because they are soft and floury.

You need to cut the pieces up fairly small and a very equal size so that they all cook at the same rate.

You need to cook them til the point where they are about to disintegrate. You do need to be careful with King Edwards on this point - they go from uncooked to mushy very quickly.

Once they are drained you need to leave them with a lid off for a few seconds - even though you want them to stay hot - because you want some of the steam to escape.

You need white pepper, a lot of butter and if you are going to add milk it really should be heated.

You need to be very thorough with your mashing.

You don't need a sieve or a ricer, you just need well cooked potatoes and a lot of vigour.

Put them in a warmed serving dish and return them to the oven to keep warm if you need to. Whatever you do, don't re-heat mash in a microwave.

I agree with those who say make sure spuds are really soft to start with. Mash away, then add your butter and milk and seasoning. Then mash some more. You shouldn't have any lumps.

buggers, though, your inlaws!!

why don't re-heat mash in micro, bibbity? Never had any problems myself if it's covered over...

mash first, then stir in, with a wooden spoon, the butter. Do not add butter/milk/cream til mashed.

"bibbity" what happend to mash in a microwave?

Why not let the step niece do the mash, then she can't complain?

I don't see why you should even consider pandering to such an ungrateful bunch.

Always use hot milk

bibbity - I am about to test your instructions as I have potatoes cooking for mash as we speak type!

All potatoes that have cooled down and been reheated taste vile.

They need to be kept hot, rather than warmed up.

Good luck Buda .

considering yullogladys suggestion LOL.

ricer sounds popular, ...king edwards eh? will remember that

cheers all

Why does adding butter and milk first matter? I always do this and I always have lumpy mash so the idea that this might prevent it is a revelation!

You need a potato ricer

you need to use the right spuds for mashing- King Edwards,Bartlett Rooster or Maris Piper make the best mash for me.

Also, rehearse the way to tell your family that if they don't like it, they can bloody well lump it!