Bloopers you just can't forgive

[Garlicked]

I'm really good at suspending disbelief and overlooking ridiculous plot holes with a "Well, they've got to keep the story moving". Sometimes, though, the writers/directors make such idiotic mistakes, they poison the whole thing.

I started watching The Silent Sea yesterday. It's a Korean sci-fi thriller starring Bae Doona, and it should be right up my street. In an opening scene, the spacecraft has crashed and Doona slides off the broken ship, which overhangs a crevasse. One of the crew members strains to hold on to her, barely managing to maintain his grip.

The Moon's gravity is one-sixth of Earth's. She can't weigh much over 60kg on this planet - pulling her up on the Moon would be no harder than lifting 10kg of shopping. She could've pulled herself up with one hand!

Now I'm watching for all the bloody stupid low-gravity and wrong-temperature errors, have already spotted several, and don't think I can get into it. What idiot mistakes have ruined the story for you?

Mine is Red Eye.

When the steward announces to the last passengers they will have to stay on the flight back to China they read out the name Chris.

Who has Chris on their passport, surely Christopher for a man?

And they are all calling the vascular surgeon Dr instead of Mr.

Really annoyed me so stopped watching.

Similarly, in World War Z, they crash into Snowdonia, somewhere near Crib Goch (it was actually filmed in Blaenau Ffestiniog) and then stumble to the infectious diseases research centre that they've already said is in Cardiff, a mere 166 miles away

My pet peeve is particularly niche. It's "wild" Harris hawks. They're often used in historical films e.g. Arthurian times onwards, but are not native to the UK (they live in the Americas), were only recognised as a species in the 1870s, and weren't introduced into the UK until the mid 1900s, and even then only in captivity.

However they are so easy to train so are the simple choice in films.

I was watching "The End We Start From" yesterday and lo and behold, a wild Harris hawk. Now it could feasibly have been an escapee, but I just know no thought was put into it.

Yes! My waters didn't break for either of my DC. Then there's a quick rush to hospital, straight into bed and a few minutes of red faced grunting and out plops a baby with no issues or waiting around.

Or where a women clutches her stomach at her first contraction and says "I think the baby's coming!" and then it does. No Braxton Hicks on film

That would be much creepier/scarier.

The Girl With All The Gifts bucks that trend.

Mine's an episode of House, where he cures a woman of blindness and she's all depressed. He asks what she did before regaining her eyesight and she replies 'an architect, but now I see the world is ugly' (or something like that).
How on earth did she become an architect or work as one if she was blind. It really jarred.

I really hate busy work in films and TV where a female character has to stand up in a kitchen folding laundry or something while a conversation takes place and there is no rhyme or reason to what she is doing. She never works methodically through a pile of something (folding clothes, drying washing up or whatever) and puts it away or stacked in a pile. She just sort of faffs with things from one side to the other and it drives me nuts. Either this is a job which needs to be done, in which case she would be getting on with it and doing it decisively; or else for gods sake let the woman just sit down, god, would it be a bloody disaster if a non-posh woman stopped having to move her arms for 5 bloody minutes.

On the music from the era one: I think our current era, since the late 90s and early noughties, is anomalous for this. I think (and feel like I remember) that previous eras were much more limited in terms of the style of the music that you would hear played. I miss that in a way as before then, you could hear a song and it would take you right back to, say, summer 2 years ago. now everything is all mixed up

It is perfectly possible for a blind person to work as an architect - if it "jars" you that is because of your ignorance, not a fault in the film -

I watch Mathew and Paul (YouTube), Paul is blind, but he has written and illustrated children's books.

It's worth a watch just to see Mr Maple the guide dog.

The first mission impossible film where they fly the helicopter into the channel tunnel with the entrance to the latter being a seemingly benign victorian arch in the rolling Kent countryside rather then the massive multi platform mass transit euro terminal that it actually is.

I grew up in 70s/80s and, unless you only listened to Radio 1 (or equivalent commercial channels), you would hear music from a wide range of eras. At primary school my best friend's dad was heavily into the Beatles and we'd listen to a lot of that, whereas my parents played a lot of rock and roll 50s music. In the 80s family would listen to 'glam rock' type music. In my teens me and my friends would listen to the latest hits but also stuff from the 70s like Supertramp or Fleetwood Mac. Variety TV shows would often have more nostalgic songs on them and songs from musicals. Jukeboxes in pubs were more common then and would tend to play music from lots of eras. I clearly have a memory of this and it not being a more recent 'thing'.

Obviously I understand why film makers do this. Listening to what was in the charts at a certain time or when a particular album came out can take you straight back there.

Yes!
The laws of physics mean the falling person's momentum would most probably pull their rescuer over into the abyss.
This is such a common trope in action films, and I'd love to see a couple of stuntmen try to demonstrate it (with the relevant safety equipment)

Dr Strange. He smashes his hands up, they pin the bones and we see them with external fixaters, then we see his hands scarred but no metal, then they have them again.

Oh and another medical one, though a comedy, Green Wing, they are touching their hair, answering phones and then delving into the patient.

I think the only way to stay sane when watching something filmed on roads/towns you know is to accept Screen Geography and Reality Geography are two completely different things.

It doesn’t matter if X road is miles away from Y road. What matters in Screen Geography is that they are able to film there, it “feels” like they would work as adjacent roads or neighbourhoods.

I don't remember that particular scene, but as I recall he has multiple surgeries to try to fix them so having to have the metal things back on again sounds plausible?

A recent one in Red Eye involving a set of steps (when you see it you'll know), and anything involving street scenes in London where either there is no traffic or if there is it's moving. Never happens.

The Great Escape - Steve McQueen was born in 1930 so would have only have been 14 on the night of the Great Escape in 1944 so wouldn't have been there, and he certainly wouldn't have had a licence to ride a motorbike.

No particular programme or film, but when the character packs a suitcase, they sling stuff in with or without hangers, but definitely without folding or rolling properly. I'm left shouting at the screen "that'll look like an old rag when it comes out of the case".
Anything with period cars in it - the cars are in absolutely pristine condition, no mud, no marks nothing. I recall us driving rust buckets back in the day.
Anything modern day in London. You mean they can actual drive around at more than walking pace? Where has all the traffic gone? And in a place where parking spaces are as rare as hens teeth, how come they can park right outside wherever it is they're going to? Every time? And there's no one there tooting at them to hurry up and park and get their car out of the way/ and or fighting for this parking spot. On the odd occasion they're not parking in that magical, traffic less spot, and they park on double yellows, how come they never ever get nicked?

This is my favourite one, I laugh at it every time!! They'll be home by nightfall... aye right.

I never thought of that!! I too can accept things like Izzy eating his own toe (and appearing to quite enjoy it) but that's really annoyed me now...

That isn't a blooper, though, that was just an actor playing a part?! You can say that about all the actors in any historical based film really!

I've been watching "Classic" Holby City and nearly everyone is a surgeon, no matter what their actual job.
Nurse? In you come and do this heart operation.
Cleaner? Right then you can diagnose this patient and then the nurse will be along to operate in about ten minutes.

It makes me smile in certain TV dramas where people loosely involved, usually with a murder, become heavily involved and usually solve the case, rather than the actual police team who are investigating.

Thrillers where the detective is pressurised by their boss to solve the case quickly (usually because they are being lent on as well). There's a "hurry up and solve this already" attitude rather than "be thorough and careful, make sure you get enough evidence and that you catch the actual perpertrator". I have no experience of policework, but this seems to be a particularly inefficient way to bring a case to court.

With the shouty police boss film trope who is constantly yelling and reprimanding the main character. I wonder either why they don't put in for a transfer to somewhere where they won't be bullied or don't change jobs if they are obviously so useless at it.

Like the music thing - furniture.
If you watch something set in the 60's it is SO 1960s that it hurts - all the big swirly decor and the furniture and everything. Now, I grew up in the 60's and houses had maybe one or two up to date things, but all the other stuff was furniture that was cheap when your parents got married, donated by grandparents, clothes weren't all madly up-to-date. There was a lot of old stuff from before the war being used, as people didn't have much money.

So unless it's purely about posh people or interior designers, why are interiors always so bang up to date in historicals?