Bloopers you just can't forgive

[Garlicked]

I'm really good at suspending disbelief and overlooking ridiculous plot holes with a "Well, they've got to keep the story moving". Sometimes, though, the writers/directors make such idiotic mistakes, they poison the whole thing.

I started watching The Silent Sea yesterday. It's a Korean sci-fi thriller starring Bae Doona, and it should be right up my street. In an opening scene, the spacecraft has crashed and Doona slides off the broken ship, which overhangs a crevasse. One of the crew members strains to hold on to her, barely managing to maintain his grip.

The Moon's gravity is one-sixth of Earth's. She can't weigh much over 60kg on this planet - pulling her up on the Moon would be no harder than lifting 10kg of shopping. She could've pulled herself up with one hand!

Now I'm watching for all the bloody stupid low-gravity and wrong-temperature errors, have already spotted several, and don't think I can get into it. What idiot mistakes have ruined the story for you?

I think I've posted about this before but the bit in Robin Hood Prince of Thieves where they are meant to have landed on the English Coast, and ten mins later are seen walking at Sycamore Gap in Northumberland, where he claims he's a few miles from home, in Nottingham. Absolutely drives me nuts....

Yes , that bothered me too. I'm sure the trees had leaves on too. That's my pet peeve.

When it's supposed to be a very cold place but you can't see anyone's breath. Obviously they aren't going to freeze the actors for that, but it always bugs me.

I can't remember where we saw this, but we saw the opposite last year, where people were living in a large house (stately home type of place) and wearing normal indoor clothes but you could see their breaths.

It's not a blooper though because it's not an error. It's a knowing, deliberate, publicly acknowledged exaggeration of reality in order to set up the situation which drives the plot.

Once he wakes up is where the attempt at realistic science starts.

Old period films where the newspapers characters are reading are always yellowing.

Suitcases and bags - clearly empty and light.

Overtly anachronistic language in films set in the past.

There's a scene in The White Queen where Richard the Third is riding to Bosworth battlefield to fight Henry Tudor. There's snow on the ground but the battle took place on 22 August.

More of a narrative structure point than a blooper, but the way that the Tim Burton Batman movie makes the Joker into the guy who kills Batman's parents misses the entire point of his origin story. If Batman manages to track down his parents' killer and kill him then where's his ongoing motivation?

But the big one is The Matrix and its total failure to grasp the laws of thermodynamics on the "humans as batteries" plot. That annoys me because it would be trivially easy to fix with the tinies of dialogue tweaks, to say that the human brains are being used to provide processing power, blah blah quantum microtubulea, blah blah biological components. According to the internet that was the original script version and a scientifically illiterate studio exec insisted on changing it to make it nonsense.

Empty cases/bags/boxes drives OH potty @Words

All music played within the film is usually only from the era that the film is set whereas IRL people listen to a range and radio plays all different eras.

Yes! I feel like writing in to congratulate them if they remember to make a newspaper look new 😂Sometimes they look too new - digitally printed - but better that than "everything in the past was sepia".

Some guy in a historical drama kept saying "OK" 🤔 And the cups are empty, as well as the suitcases.

@DilysPrice, I'd deliberately overlooked the humans as batteries problem, and it's galling to learn the author had provided a more plausible (fictional) explanation. Silly studio exec!

The hit man the girl with that dragon tattoo on her face in one scene its on one side the next its on the other side of her face.
Shit film so many things wrong.
And other films where they all fight but no blood or marks.
Zombies never see kid zombies thats an odd one.
So so many.
My aunty hates loves to hate any rambo or rocky films her words one man can take down a full army and all you hear his him grunt.
Rocky the onyl words you can hear him say is fight the fight god she makes me laugh.

Side note i sent her a poster 4foot of rambo i will not say what she text me lol.
I then sent her the box set of rocky and a t-shirt with his face on it she had a lovely fire in the garden.
this was is still on going sending things she hates.😆

Mine is also A Touch Of Frost! I am a Leeds lass, born and bred. So when I watched the driving scenes, it infuriated me to see two different areas of Leeds in one shot, which in reality are several miles apart! And the two roads they used are two of our longest ones! That's more of a continuity blooper, which, unless you're from Leeds, you wouldn't realise!

The fake snow in Call The Midwife. It looks so badly fake it completely spoils the effect.

And like newspapers looking wrong, book covers annoy me too.

Any film that uses waters breaking unexpectedly in a public place as the start of labour.

And women having miscarriages, waking up in bed on their back with blood all over the front of their nightie. A) you don't immediately start bleeding out all over the place and B) blood doesn't drip up!

Spoilers for Our Flag Means Death end of season 2.

Every ship in the fleet has been gifted a pendulum clock. There are bombs hidden in the clocks. The bombs go off all at the same time on every ship.

But a pendulum clock can't keep time accurately on a ship because the rocking messes with the gravity of the pendulum. There is no way all those bombs would have gone off at the same time.

I can deal with mermaids and seagull magic and the mash up of real and fictional characters existing outside of their actual timelines... but the clocks on the ships working the same way as if they were on land really bothers me for some reason.

Yesterday's Dr Who all the correct-vintage cars parked down both sides of the road in 1963.

At the weekends in my late-70s city street you'd have probably seen 3 cars parked. Normal people didn't own cars! Especially not new, current year ones.

Such a good point. Far far fewer cars on the road.

I would love forever any film or TV show in which a woman realises that she's gone into labour, rings the hospital midwife unit, and when she eventually gets through, is told to take two paracetamol, maybe have a nice bath, and ring back in a couple of hours. I have never seen any fictional labouring woman being told to take two paracetamol and see how it goes. (Although ER gets credit for Dr Corday being whizzed into obstetrics in the middle of the night and then being sent home two hours later with a red face and a diagnosis of Braxton Hicks)

The thing that winds me up most about portrayals of labour is where a woman gets an epidural and then acts drunk. No, that's not how they work.
(although ER also gets credit for the following exchange:
"say thankyou to the epidural man for me!"
"I think you mean the anaesthetist Carole"
"😍He'll always be the epidural man to me 😍"

I once rolled my eyes so hard at an episode of CSI:Miami that I popped a contact lens out.

So many reasons it was dreadful, but primarily due to the women wearing stilettos stomping through murder scenes with long hair floating in the wind, the me just as bad but in flat shoes, never mind the dearth of gloves, paper suits, shoe covers, masks, or actual equipment...

You've just contaminated every single part of that scene and all the evidence you are gathering is now tainted due to piss poor procedure.

@TeamPolin also, when they come ashore at what is obviously Dover and Robin says they'll be feasting with his father by nightfall. Nope - I googled it and it's almost a 3 day walk from Dover to Nottingham. Even longer if you go via Northumberland 😁.

I think the Martian is brilliant

Hinterland. A chase through the marshes behind Borth suddenly enters the forest many miles east of Aberystwyth.

Foreign languages if you happen to know them. I've been making my way through the first two seasons of "Victoria" and it's extraordinarily irritating how the entire Coburg clan converse among themselves in heavily accented German. And don't get me started on Cold War movies and purportedly Russian characters!

My pet peeve is actors not being able to act holding a full cup of coffee, or even a half cup of coffee. They wave it around and slurp at it like they're children at a tea party.
It stays with me for the rest of the programme and I get irrationally annoyed by it.