Spoilers - All of us Strangers

[EmmaEmerald]

Just putting this out there as this film has hit me like a truck.

Honestly, if you're feeling even a tad fragile, think carefully before seeing it.

But if you're mentally robust, you might want to give it a miss anyway tbh.

I did know, from the trailer, that the main character lost his parents as a child.

It was the end that felt like a punch in the gut for me. I've actually just been on the phone to my ex talking about it...but I partly rang him because I suddenly got scared of what it would be like if anything happened to him. He's a lot younger so fingers crossed it won't!

There's definitely such a thing as too much sadness. I felt that Harry's death was just too much.

However, from what I can see online, I seem to have taken the film more literally than I should?

Three main theories I can find are

1. Harry was a figment of his imagination, or at least, the relationship was.
2. Harry was dead already and went looking for company because his death made him lonely
3. They're all ghosts

I took it literally as in

Very lonely man finds love
Takes Harry to see his old family home
Harry is already fragile and drinks to numb the pain of what he has just seen and can't really cope with his new boyfriend's state of mind

I realised at the end that Harry saw the ghosts of Adam's parents in the house, so perhaps that was a sign he was meant to cross over to the other side.

Of course, Adam sees that no one lives in his building, I thought it puts us in the realm of, he's in a state of mind where he doesn't see people.

But it adds to the possibility that they are all ghosts.

Something else has struck me
Yes, Adam orders the family special in the restaurant.

But the server brings three milkshakes, you wouldn't do that if you saw one person.

Have looked up the book. It's described as a ghost story and I can't find anything to tell me if the end is the same.

I'm just back from seeing it with my sister.

It was beautifully shot and the acting was great. It was incredibly moving.

I found the scene with his parents in the diner very emotional. When he ordered the family meal, the server said that's a lot of food snd he said something like thats ok i still want it, so I think he was there alone. But Andrew Scott's acting in that scene, wow. But I did wonder why the waitress didn't 'see' him so upset.

When he was going home and to Harry's, I got a feeling that he'd be dead but it was a shock that he'd died on the first night and none of the relationship had existed. So then I was thinking did he actually go out to the club on his own. Or was the whole thing his imagination.

The ending confused me because I wasn't sure if Adam had died as well when the camera panned up and they became stars.

Overall I've been left with a big feeling of sadness. I've had immense grief and loss in the last 6 years and can see how isolated it can make you.

I didn't know it was a book but I'm intrigued to read.

The book is apparently a lot different but I can't find info on how it ends.
If they are all ghosts, or if Harry has been dead from that first scene, it's a lot less depressing. I can cope much better with Harry being dead all along than what I thought initially - that their timelines was real and he'd overdosed because he had been brought down by Adam.

The waitress brought three milkshakes. But I thought those scenes were all in his head, so the waitress would bring three milkshakes, in his head?

It's possible I have reached a life stage where I need to stick to cheerful stuff. But some people online are saying it is brighter and that it is saying that Adam has learned to live and love and can do so again?

Also a theory that Adam died in the initial "fire" and that's why he coughs a fair bit? I just thought he was coughing because he vapes.

yesterday I really wished I hadn't seen it, but other countries are marketing it as supernatural, which is literally one word that would change my whole perception.

also, think of the narrator as unreliable and that makes a big difference.

Ok I saw this as I enjoy british films and drama/ romance.
Plus like the actors.
I wasn't fussed before hand about the fantasy. But I saw it had great reviews. So I knew it would definitely be worth watching.
I was determined to see it ASAP this weekend .
Anyway, it wasn't wow for me. Not 5 stars.
I assume everyone but Andrew Scott's character was dead.
So perhaps I didn't like the fact we didn't see Adam interact with anyone in the real world??
Yes it was depressing. I knew it was about being lonely, but I didn't think it was going to be total fantasy and kinda confusing.
It would have been nice to know if any of it wasn't a dream...

I saw it yesterday, it really resonated with me as I lost both my parents at a young age. I found the diner scene incredibly moving.

I also thought there was a lot of love in the film and I was gutted that Harry and Adam's relationship wasn't real. I did find the end a bit confusing but think Harry died after being rejected by Adam at the beginning.

I read a theory that as Adam is a writer, the whole thing was him writing a screen play and he was working through his grief, loneliness and how he wanted a relationship to be and Harry had to die so he could move onto a relationship in real life.

I really enjoyed it and think Andrew Scott is a phenominal actor. I'm definitely going to watch it again when it comes out on streaming.

It seems I'm the only person who didn't understand the ending....

Through all possible options, my brain defaulted to the worst one....that Harry killed himself after going to the house with Adam.

It looks like that's the one they can't have been going for, in which case, okay, I feel better about it.

I know they have an "explanation" for the building being empty but if Adam is real, then I assume it's not, it's just his perception.

Seeing the film as supernatural throughout saves it from being misery porn, which is something I always avoid, in film, TV and books. I wish they'd marketed it as supernatural here!

@Bassetlover "I read a theory that as Adam is a writer, the whole thing was him writing a screen play and he was working through his grief, loneliness and how he wanted a relationship to be and Harry had to die so he could move onto a relationship in real life."

I like this theory too.

I always found "The Power of Love" a mournful dirge but I dislike it even more now. I like they used Alison Moyet "Is This Love". I don't listen to radio so never hear it but will pop it on a playlist.

edit - I've been a fan of Andrew Scott forever, have met him twice, and find his work utterly extraordinary, so I do wonder if I'd have been interested in this if he wasn't in it. It's always an experience to see him, especially on stage.

but from the trailer and the subject matter, I wasn't prepared for that ending. Or the ending I thought I'd watched. There's Q&A on Youtube but I don't want to revisit how bad I felt after watching that!

I saw it a while ago at a festival, and loved it, all but the final twist of Paul Mescal’s character’s death, which I thought was silly and a bit overkill. I thought all the performances were terrific, and it was incredibly moving. Most of the audience had come to watch Andrew Scott and Paul Mescal’s characters take one another’s clothes off, but everyone was sobbing by half an hour in. Me included.

The waitress in the restaurant said "That's a lot of food" so we were meant to know there was only Adam there as she meant "That's a lot of food for one person".

Yes but she also put three drinks on the table.

this leads me more towards Adam imagining it all in his head, rather than actually being in a diner.

or being dead from the start, having died in the fire.

I enjoyed this film but found it upsetting and very sad.

I've been reading different theories but there's one thing I can't find the answer to. If it's in his imagination and he's writing the screenplay does that mean Harry doesn't exist at all and is a total figment or does he exist and really is dead and just the relationship part isn't real. It's confusing.

I prefer endings that are clear and not open to interpretation.

@Missfelinemoo yes, if you were writing a screenplay as catharsis, why on earth would the Harry death help?!

@Bassetlover "I read a theory that as Adam is a writer, the whole thing was him writing a screen play and he was working through his grief, loneliness and how he wanted a relationship to be and Harry had to die so he could move onto a relationship in real life."

This is how I saw that.

I think Harry died of suicide the first night they met. He talked about not being able to open the windows and vampires at his door which is the reference to the 'Power of Love' song (the lyrics say sth like 'the love is the light keeping darkness away'). I think Adam was working over his grief and unable to notice Harry was asking for help, and needed somebody to save him. I think him not interacting with other people in 'real life' is to stress how lonely he is. The building he lives in is almost empty as well, like his live.

I will watch it again when it's out on streaming to catch all nuances.

Ha ha don’t worry OP I took it very literally just like you and I was also “No, too much, he’s just worked through the death of his parents!” when Harry was dead at the end.

Reading this now, I do get that Harry was dead all along because Adam picked up the Japanese whisky bottle, and the smell meant his body had been undiscovered for a long time.

I think I was looking for something different from it though- I grew up in the 80s and there were so many touches of the house and the clothes that really brought back very clear memories for me. We also went to Disney when I was 14 and it poured with rain! My parents are also dead and although they didn’t die when I was a child I am only AS’s age now and have been without them both for over 10 years. I could easily imagine walking in the door of my childhood house right now and them being there just as they were in the eighties. Also imagining the things we would have done together in the bit of life that I lived since they died, and what they might think of me now. In fact, my current house is a similar layout to the one I grew up in and sometimes when I am a bit drowsy I imagine myself opening the living room door and stepping out into the hallway of my childhood home…

On top of that, I now have an only child, a boy who is growing fast but still comes in to snuggle in between us.

I thought it was very well done but I had been hoping for some slightly more lighthearted 80s soundtracked moments!

(PS I was glad that they did explain why AS had an Irish accent, though I thought it was a bit lazy of him not to bother with an English one)

I loved the premise of this film: that Adam's parents are still living in his childhood home. It reminds me of the Will Self short story where dead people simply move to another part of London and continue their lives. After my father died, I used to comfort myself with this thought.

However, I really wasn't prepared for how bleak this film was. In the end, in spite of all the love portrayed between Adam and his parents and between him and Harry, it seemed to be loss and loneliness that triumphed. I could just about cope with him saying goodbye to his parents, but then I expected him to be able to move on to a relationship with Harry. The final scenes were heartbreaking.

A friend texted me shortly after seeing it this afternoon and she was in bits too.

The acting was beautiful. I love Andrew Scott and Paul Mescal. But I think anyone feeling emotionally fragile should think twice about seeing this film.

I was really touched by this film. A wonderful piece of cinema. On the story itself, I wondered if Adam died in a fire in his tower block - Harry jokes with him that one day the alarm would be for real.

I felt exactly the same about the set!! It was so intricately accurate. I was born in 1978 and recognised little details like the bedroom wallpaper with small flowers, the concertina lampshades on the bedroom lamps, just the layout of the kitchen, those incredible 1980s lights on the Christmas tree.

I have a very, very vivid memory of the Christmas that pet shop boys were number one with 'you were always on my mind' and I knew that I was 9 that Christmas.

As we came out of the cinema, I said to my DD that I reckon Andrew Scott must be 2 years older than me because his parents died just before he turned 12 and he must have been 11 that Christmas as I remember Pet Shop Boys being number one. Got home and looked him on wiki and he was born in 1976.

I know this is all textbook stuff when it comes to film continuity, but it really, really brought that feeling of going back in time to life for me.

Maybe it could have a happy ending though.
Adam was working through his grief and the fact that his parents never knew him as a gay adult. He's a writer so he imagines three futures involving the neighbour he's attracted to.
First timeline he outright rejects Harry and that ends awfully.
Second timeline he starts a relationship with Harry but can't fully commit because of his unresolved issues and he pushes Harry away and that ends awfully.
Third timeline he realises that his parents loved him and would have loved him to be happy in a relationship, the death didn't really happen and the next day Harry knocks on his door for the first time (we have to imagine that bit).
I know I'm stretching but I wanted them to have a happy ending. I need to watch it again.

I loved it. I just thought it was so beautiful and there was such beauty and sadness in all fhe relationships. I loved that there were only 4 actors - 5 if you count the waitress - so I felt I really "got to know" them.

For me, it is Andrew Scott's character imagining finding love and moving forward and telling his mum and dad. He recognises that moving forward will mean moving on, which is why the night Paul Mescal visits him Andrew goes to his childhood home. Perhaps they've been eye fucking for years and he really feels a spark, love at first sight type thing. Anyway it's like the first time he's been there jn years- "Look who I found at the park"... "it is him! Let me look at you" - because he's had a mundane, tv watching life and has blocked out the missing them - they'd be an irrelevance in his life had they lived as his life is nothingness - nothing to share or make them proud. Note that they don't even know that he's gay or a writer.

At the first opportunity to grab at something more - happiness - he misses his parents so intently he goes to tell them (my husband was orphaned as a teenager and he has his most vivid dreams about his parents at big life events eg kids born, promotions etc) but gets so wrapped up in working through his feelings (making himself ill and feverish) that 6 weeks or whenever later he goes to reciprocate with Paul and it is too late, Paul having died that first night.

I think it is a very accurate portrayal of the selfishness and the all-consumption of grief.

I also wondered if Andrew Scott had killed Harry. I am glad I am not the only one who found it ambiguous because I was starting to feel a bit thick.

I'm so happy to find this thread!

I assumed Adamwas on his own in the café. The waitress sounded like she was laughing a little bit when she said enjoy and put the three milkshakes in front of him. She also said it as though he was a child which I found interesting.

I couldn't work out whether Harry died after knocking on Adam's door or before but I think he died beforehand. There was something Harry said: why didn't anyone find me? That made me break down.

I couldn't understand the fire alarm. We saw Adam open his fridge and see old takeaways etc and then the fire alarm went off. He goes outside and sees the two lights in the building but there isn't a prompt for him to go back into the building.

I thought all four actors were absolutely amazing. I plan to read the book now but I think I read somewhere that there have been quite a lot of changes from that.

I really liked the film and the acting was amazing.

While I was watching I thought that Adam had found the body of either Harry's lover or a parent in the flat at the end and THAT was why he didn't want to be alone that night, because that's when the person had died. I was gutted when it was Harry.

I LOVED the kitchen scene at the beginning because it brought back such nostalgia for me, my parents had those kitchen chairs, the sticker on the side of the 80s kettle I'd forgotten about, even the kitchen roll holder - stuff I'd long forgotten about came back to me.

I just presumed the family meal came with three shakes, I obviously take things too literally

I did think when I was watching that it would be extremely triggering if you'd lost a parent or someone close to you though.

@determinedtomakethiswork - Paul Mescal said the line, "Why didn't anyone find me?" really got to him too.

Why did he have an Irish accent? I must have missed the explanation

After his parents died, he was sent to live with a grandmother in Dublin.

I couldn't work out whether Harry died after knocking on Adam's door or before but I think he died beforehand.

Thinking about it, Harry didn’t evacuate the building for the alarm, did he? I think we are meant to think he was drunk/decided they were always false alarms but maybe with hindsight it was that he was dead.