Spoilers - All of us Strangers

[EmmaEmerald]

Just putting this out there as this film has hit me like a truck.

Honestly, if you're feeling even a tad fragile, think carefully before seeing it.

But if you're mentally robust, you might want to give it a miss anyway tbh.

I did know, from the trailer, that the main character lost his parents as a child.

It was the end that felt like a punch in the gut for me. I've actually just been on the phone to my ex talking about it...but I partly rang him because I suddenly got scared of what it would be like if anything happened to him. He's a lot younger so fingers crossed it won't!

There's definitely such a thing as too much sadness. I felt that Harry's death was just too much.

However, from what I can see online, I seem to have taken the film more literally than I should?

Three main theories I can find are

1. Harry was a figment of his imagination, or at least, the relationship was.
2. Harry was dead already and went looking for company because his death made him lonely
3. They're all ghosts

I took it literally as in

Very lonely man finds love
Takes Harry to see his old family home
Harry is already fragile and drinks to numb the pain of what he has just seen and can't really cope with his new boyfriend's state of mind

I realised at the end that Harry saw the ghosts of Adam's parents in the house, so perhaps that was a sign he was meant to cross over to the other side.

Of course, Adam sees that no one lives in his building, I thought it puts us in the realm of, he's in a state of mind where he doesn't see people.

But it adds to the possibility that they are all ghosts.

@Logainm Thanks! Totally missed that and was very confused for the whole film.

i just had a read about it and someone said the ending is what you want it to be
harry still had the whiskey that he had when he turned up at adam's door though so it makes me think it was all in adam's imagination. or ghosts but adam being a ghost isnt right because his parents say he needed to move on
i loved it when he hugged his dad
and his mum's initial rejection of his gayness was heart breaking.

Just seen it. Wow!
When I was watching it I thought he could be in some form of psychiatric ward and the bit after the club we’d see him in hospital, but no.
Also when he went to his parents w Harry j thought wtf he’s actually taken him there expecting his parents to be in (whereas it was just in his imagination as at that point we were led to believe Harry was alive). Confusing bit.
And yes, was gutted when Harry was dead, also didn’t realise he’d been dead since the rejection of the first night.
Discussed w dh whether Adam was dead the whole time, but having read a Guardian article it appears not.
Great soundtrack, it really was very nostalgic as I grew up in the same era. My parents also died when I was relatively young and I have been thinking recently what they’d make of my life/their grandchildren now.

Sorry OP but I thought your original supposition is the right one. Harry was rejected and killed himself the first night.
Adam is the kid in Sixth Sense but "I fuck dead people."

Just been and I was in bits my the end. I don’t see why people shouldn’t go if they are fragile they know what they are going to see🤔

I have cancer so I was thinking about that the whole way through. My gay best friend was found dead on his bedroom floor afew months back also with a bottle near him but he never committed suicide which is what I thought about Harry. I think he was lonely, drinking and taking drugs but not that he necessarily committed suicide.

i thought it was fantastic and I’m surprised it’s not up for any Oscar’s.

I’m not sure Harry killed himself. He was in a bad way when Adam sent him away, with a flat full of drugs and booze. Seems more like an accident to me.

It took me a fortnight to recover from
Andrew Scott - he made me understand true grief in a way I never have. That should be a mixed blessing at best.

Scott makes the horror beautiful.

Genius, that man.

The only thing that kept tugging me back irl was How Can He Be 47?!?

All-Of-Us-Strangers-Read-The-Screenplay_Redacted.pdf (deadline.com)

It isn't a long read for those interested. I love reading transcripts. It is a circular ending and that the writer says the stars/"Make love your goal" is a guide, not a warning, suggests that he saw it as more uplifting than cautionary.
Agree with you - accidental drowning of sorrows rather than suicide.

Mmmmm I am underwhelmed massively by this film.

Great soundtrack, and I particularly liked Jamie Bell’a performance.

For me, Andrew Scott played Andrew Scott.

From the beginning I wondered if they were all ghosts or in some way imaginary - can’t imagine a tower block in London with two occupants!

I did enjoy the exploration of how much has changed through the mum’s reaction and fears.

It wasn’t entirely explored why Claire Foy’s character didn’t think she was mother of the year - was it the fact they went out drinking when he stayed home with a fever? He was meant to be going with them.

And I am not sure Harry ever existed, if he died on day one or if he died as a result of seeing Adam’s torment.

And did Adam die? The stars?

All in all, I found it very slow and lacking a big something. not at all what I was expecting from the trailers.

Oh, and I thought Adam sounded Welsh.

I think he died on day one. He was found wearing the same clothes with the same bottle of whisky. I found the ending to be a real punch in the gut too. I was in pieces.

I guess Harry's troubles were clear so the ending was foreshadowed but I was still expecting it to be more uplifting.

I guess the bottom line is that he has now moved on from the crushing pain of his grief and now he has a chance of the love he missed out on with Harry. But it was devastating.

I also think Harry died on the first day. Adam wasn't able to respond to his cry for help - 'There are vampires at my door' - because he was trying to deal with his own vampires.

Once Adam had resolved his issues with his parents and realised they would have loved and accepted him as a gay man - and forgives their failings - he's ready to develop a relationship with Harry.

Harry's death is such a gut punch, as you say. I didn't see it coming. However, I went to see the film a second time and spotted the foreshadowing I'd missed first time round, e.g. when Harry says his gran used to say there's nothing a warm bath can't sort out. This suggests to me that he didn't mean to kill himself but ran himself a hot bath for comfort 😔.

The line, "Why didn't anyone find me?" remains as upsetting second time around. Paul Mescal said this was the line that got him, too. And when he referred to his mum not checking on him - well, that was bloody heartbreaking.

There's no happy ending for Harry, but I think Adam is going to be OK. I believe he used his fantasies to come to terms with things. He'll be OK in the long-run because he's accepted that love and connection endure beyond death. This will enable him to form new relationships in the future.

Went to see this last night. I had heard before I went that it can stick with you for days and wow does it! I thought it was fantastic amazing to think there were only 4 characters in it but you were gripped from the beginning. I thought Andrew Scott was amazing but always loved him, he grew up near me we are the same age and his mum was my art teacher at school (only realised this recently, she was lovely). I have never been a massive fan of Paul Mescal didn't quite get the hype but I have changed my mind I thought he played this character absolutely perfectly. Jaime Bell and Clare Fox equally brilliant, it wouldn't have worked if there was any bad performances in it.

I found the most sad and poignant scenes were with his parents and just the raw emotion and grief and the thoughts of them leaving him so distressing. I thought when he was talking to his dad about his school bullying and asking him why he never came in to his room when he as crying just heartbreaking, you could see the scared little boy just wanting that hug of reassurance which he finally got. I loved the dads honesty, I was worried I would have been one of those bullies when I was a boy. I also thought the scene with his mum when he comes out to her and his irritated angry reaction to her reaction so well done. I thought Andrew Scott was incredible, I think someone queried why he was too lazy to put on an accent that wasn't his own but maybe he didn't want that to be a distraction if he didn't get it spot on.

My take on it is that Harry dies the night of the fire alarm, it is another what if in Adams life, everything between them wasn't real. The hope is that Adam can start to move on from the grief but I think losing both parents as a child must be the ultimate grief, you literally lose the solid ground beneath your feet, the unconditional love and support, you are very much alone. Both my parents were in a horrific car crash when I was a young child, thankfully they both survived but were hospitalised for weeks, I was brought back there last night wondering who or where I would be if they had not survived. The piece where he says his granny didn't bring him to see his mum before she died because of her scarring after going through the windscreen really resonated with me. Me and my siblings weren't brought to see my parents because our relatives were worried about us being scared of their scarring due to the windscreen shattering. Despite my parents surviving that accident rocked me completely and I developed quite bad anxiety after it and was terrified anytime my parents weren't with me. The scene where he begs his mum not to go to the Walsh's brought me back to me begging my parents not to go out because I was terrified they wouldn't return. It took a lot to move on from it.

Thank you for this! I read it last night. It’s a while since I saw the film (at a festival last year), and I did find myself wondering what aspects of the screenplay didn’t make it into the final cut, as there were things I didn’t remember, like a glimpse of Adam’s mother in a train station crowd missing an eye, or objects in Adam’s flat appearing n his parents’ house.

@Dulra - so sorry about your parents. I'm relieved to hear they were OK in the end. What a terrifying experience for you to go through.

The film must have been an extra hard watch for you. No wonder you identified with Adam's panic when his parents were going out.

My own parents separated when I was nine and I went to live with my grandparents. I didn't realise until I was older how much that loss affected me. All a child's security depends on his or her parents.

All a child's security depends on his or her parents.
It really does, death of a parent is now recognised as one of the Adverse Childhood Experiences that can lead to trauma and have a longlasting impact. Thankfully more is known about it now so children are supported and offered therapy and help to deal with their grief.

Sorry to hear of your experience and hope you have been able to process the loss 💐

Thanks, @Dulra. I had therapy in my 20s which helped me make sense of it.

OK. I saw this last night. I thought there were some good things about the film - the performances, essentially - but god I hated the ending.

We know that the parents are figments of his imagination. But the end suggests that Harry has been dead since the opening scenes of the film. So everything that's happened between him and Adam has also been in Adam's head. Everything - the love scenes, the club, the ketamine, all of it.

So what was real? What has actually taken place during the length of the film? Basically Adam got on a couple of trains and banged on a door. I just watched a film where nothing happened. What a waste of time!

Eh, the ‘it was all, or mostly, a dream’ trope isn’t exactly new — you could complain that Total Recall, Inception, Nightmare on Elm Street, Eyes Wide Shut, The Devil’s Advocate, Mulholland Drive, Donnie Dario, or even The Wizard of Oz, are all a waste of time for the same reason!

Obviously not your type of movie then and that's fine.

So much happened but it depends on how you define "happened". You were getting a window into someones soul how they were thinking, feeling, living. You were on the journey with them. Possibly the relationship with Harry was all imagined but it still "happened" but maybe not in the literal sense.

So do you think Harry died before he appeared at Adam's door or afterwards?

I think he died afterwards. I think he was desperately lonely, tried to chat up Adam, then went back to his flat alone, drank some more, maybe took drugs, then ran himself a bath for comfort (remember what his granny said about there being nothing a warm bath couldn't cure) and died in the bath. I assumed it was suicide at first, but it may have been an accident.

Harry is dead the second time he knocks on the door. He says something likes he's been asleep listening white noise - which is the TV in his lounge when he's found dead. And he's wearing the same clothes.

It was weird, because the way I interpreted it was that Adam hadn't processed his parent's death and so he couldn't open his door and his heart to a stranger (Harry).

But after he'd processed their deaths he was able to be open to Harry, and unfortunately Harry had already passed.

And I felt like he was supposed to feel regret but also a bittersweet learning to not be so closed off to human connection in future.

HOWEVER.

I feel that Adam did the correct thing shutting the door on a chaotic, drunk neighbour who was much, much bigger than him in an empty building. From a safety point of view it would have been madness to let Harry in.

So, yeah.

I anyone has (successfully) had therapy for trauma they will know what I mean about processing the parent's deaths...that scene in the restaurant was like extremely painful, radical acceptance. And then the trauma fades..

That's how it was for me, anyway, and I really related to that scene.