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Promising young woman. Anyone seen it?

76 replies

Whentheydontmeanwhattheysay · 03/10/2021 07:19

I watched the trailer & thought that it looked good.
It has actually me feeling really uncomfortable and upset and I can’t seem to straighten out my thoughts. It’s just so horribly true to life in the beginning and I suppose it has triggered some awful feelings.

OP posts:
Creamcrackersandricecakes · 06/10/2021 13:21

@IsabellesMissingSock

Brilliant film with a great ending, and I love the song that gets played right at the end.
Absolute banger of a tune - Angel of the Morning by Juice Newton. Love it.
IsabellesMissingSock · 06/10/2021 13:49

Indeed @Creamcrackersandricecakes, I googled it at the end of the film, added it to my Apple Music and have had it on "play it till I hate it" setting ever since. Love it! 🙌🏻

EurghCobwebs · 06/10/2021 13:57

@ISpyCobraKai

Where is it available?
Sky movies and Amazon Prime (I think!)

Have watched it a few times now. Love the way it's filmed and glad that a film has finally touched on this subject.

EurghCobwebs · 06/10/2021 14:04

@DreadingItBadly

I kind of agree that this character had to look hotter but I loved Carey Mulligan's performance. She made the role her own. I liked it when she first opened the door to that party and a guy who had "troublemaker-womaniser-douchebag" written on his face was standing there. He would have been an obvious suspect, wouldn't he? A classic bad guy. But no, it actually a nice guy, his friend, who would have never ever raised a suspicion that he can be capable of such a horrible thing. Being a mother, I couldn't feel sorry for her parents that she didn't trust them enough to say what was going on and they had no idea and couldn't help her. I didn't like it that she quite university "to help her friend" - that was her future broken too. But all in all, a really clever and moving film which I want my own DD to watch.
You are sounding a lot like Dennis Harvey who got called out for his misogynistic focus on her appearance in his film review:

variety.com/2020/film/reviews/promising-young-woman-review-1203480660/

Focusing on her appearance completes misses the whole point of the film and plays into the misogyny that it is trying to bring attention to!

www.insider.com/promising-young-woman-review-veriety-ignited-row-over-press-freedom-2021-2

REDHERO · 06/10/2021 14:38

What's the focus with her looks here! Unbelievable.

All women can and are be assaulted. Old young obviously pretty plain ugly fat thin short tall black white rich poor .

Quit with the incorrect and ridiculous assumptions that she needs to be really pretty and sexy to be believable , it really shows up the ignorance. Think again.

EurghCobwebs · 06/10/2021 14:42

It's kind of like saying a woman won't be raped or assaulted throughout her life unless she's beautiful. It's really fucking ridiculous. And this opinion coming from women is even more shocking and depressing!

ISpyCobraKai · 06/10/2021 14:42

Thanks @EurghCobwebs
Ill have a look, I really want to see it and I think my 20yr old would be interested too.

Trisolaris · 06/10/2021 14:48

I liked it but I agree with others that I found it unrealistic that more of the ‘nice’ guys wouldn’t have got extremely aggressive when she confronted them rather than allow her to just lecture them.

PartyStory · 06/10/2021 15:23

I liked it but it wasn’t believable to me that someone would drop out of medschool and go through all that planning because of something that happened to their friend.

Ididanamechange · 06/10/2021 15:32

I saw it just as a the news was breaking about Sarah Everard and lots of women were sharing their stories of abuse and harassment online. The timing just made it feel so much more real, as if I was watch what happened to them if that makes sense. And the ending happened and the song came on, its very rare for a film to affect me like that one did.

EurghCobwebs · 06/10/2021 15:40

I find it weird that we question the realism of this film instead of its overall message.

From the film Taken I took away that a fictional character would do whatever it took to protect his daughter and thought it did a great job highlighting sex trafficking. Didn't come away and say "yeahhhh but would he really fly across the World, nearly kill one of his lifelong friends, learn some Albanian phrases, jump onto a yacht from a bridge and take out an Albanian gang" 🤔

Newgirls · 06/10/2021 15:40

The scene in the uni principals office was so powerful. So many institutions turn a blind eye, due to the scale of this issue, due to male success being so valued etc. Work places too. That was a brilliant scene. Great casting too.

The men not turning violent - in some ways I thought that was more realistic. They chose her because they wanted low conflict. Then got scared/caught/shamed. Shows how everyday this is.

Newgirls · 06/10/2021 15:42

@PartyStory

I liked it but it wasn’t believable to me that someone would drop out of medschool and go through all that planning because of something that happened to their friend.
It was meant to be hyper real. ‘what if a woman did stand up to them/go for revenge’. That’s why it was so compelling because so many of don’t/can’t/didn’t.
NeedAHoliday2021 · 06/10/2021 15:51

It was a great film and ended with dh and I having a really good conversation re the difference between going out as a female and a male and the fact that I found nothing in the film shocking or far fetched, instead I found it remarkably believable. I was able to share my experiences with dh with him really wanting to listen. It’s a certain type of guy who behaves that way and dh isn’t that type at all, but he recognises that type and saw things through new eyes after watching the film. It was his suggestion to watch after I’d walked home from a night club the previous evening (I left due to the vile, grabbing, letchy men but there weren’t any taxis due to fuel issues so walked - I felt safer doing that at 1am than staying in the club).

NeedAHoliday2021 · 06/10/2021 15:56

The fact any poster would believe the lead female needed to be hotter is depressing. When so many women are sexually assaulted I think we should all be able to agree that rape isn’t something that happens only to “hot” women.

Seasonschange · 06/10/2021 15:58

@PartyStory

I liked it but it wasn’t believable to me that someone would drop out of medschool and go through all that planning because of something that happened to their friend.
I think this was touched on a bit. Her dead friends mother said she needed to move on. Her parents are desperate for her to move on and get a “real” job and get her mojo back.

When she gets caught by her new boyfriend doing her strange hobby she realises how “crazy” it is an resolves to give it up and move on with her life.

It’s all shown as an unhealthy obsession.

REDHERO · 06/10/2021 16:59

@EurghCobwebs

I find it weird that we question the realism of this film instead of its overall message.

From the film Taken I took away that a fictional character would do whatever it took to protect his daughter and thought it did a great job highlighting sex trafficking. Didn't come away and say "yeahhhh but would he really fly across the World, nearly kill one of his lifelong friends, learn some Albanian phrases, jump onto a yacht from a bridge and take out an Albanian gang" 🤔

Exactly.

Why do women not call out how often this type if rape happens, stop covering the shit up, making excuses and enabling the rapists because hey they are nice guys you know, allowing them to continue getting away with it. WTF why do women make excuses, look for the whataboutery, pick holes yet completely and utterly muss the fucking message. No wonder men get away with it.

Yep I was assaulted by a 'nice' good looking man. It makes me vomit that even black and white unable to consent so rape is bloody obvious what happened in the story message and people focus on is she pretty enough, would they really listen to her lecture (many rapists are cowards so drunk women are perfect for them), would a woman still think about this years later and plan revenge (its not something that goes away ).

Unbelievable. No wonder men get away with it so often.

REDHERO · 06/10/2021 17:02

@Newgirls

The scene in the uni principals office was so powerful. So many institutions turn a blind eye, due to the scale of this issue, due to male success being so valued etc. Work places too. That was a brilliant scene. Great casting too.

The men not turning violent - in some ways I thought that was more realistic. They chose her because they wanted low conflict. Then got scared/caught/shamed. Shows how everyday this is.

Exactly. So many completely miss that.
Trisolaris · 06/10/2021 18:40

@REDHERO it’s not missing the message to think that a lot of self-identified ‘nice guys’ might not actually be nice and are likely to get aggressive or violent If confronted with their behaviour. We see every day women on this site talking about their violent abusive partners that no one would believe it if because he’s ‘so nice normally!’
I thought the message of the film was excellent and would definitely recommend watching it but I can think that and also think it’s not a perfect film.

ISpyCobraKai · 06/10/2021 18:55

Its £3.50 to rent on Amazon Prime if anyone else is interested.
I'm going to watch it tomorrow.

thisplaceisapigsty · 08/10/2021 17:12

I felt so upset at the ending - I wanted her to come out a winner at the end and get on with her life, revenge complete. I suppose that was unrealistic but I hate that she pretty well knew this was going to happen to her and went into it to self-destruct if necessary, as if she had been suicidal all along which I don't think she was. Or maybe that's it and she was almost expecting one of those guys who picked her up was going to turn violent and kill her? I don't know, I just don't like women self-destructing like that. I've always disliked Thelma and Louise for its ending.

Newgirls · 08/10/2021 17:47

Yes I wish it had had a different ending too. That she walked out of that house. But they would have come for her wouldn’t they?

Apols for spoilers!

Mooserp · 16/10/2021 22:29

Just watched it and thought it was excellent but unsettling. Brilliantly acted. I guessed the ending and found it satisfying in the circumstances.

Best film I've seen in a long while.

ISeeTheLight · 16/10/2021 22:37

It's an amazing film. Uncomfortable, yes, but needed. All teens should watch it. Also Cary Mulligan was perfect for the role; agree with PP that it needed to be an "everyday" woman as it happens to all of us.

GrandPrismatic · 07/11/2021 15:10

I just watched this yesterday. It was excellent…spoilers coming up if you haven’t watched it.

indeed I think it is a masterpiece and can well understand why it has won awards. I’m almost shocked it DID win awards given the topic at hand. Feels like a tiny step forward.

Left me annoyed at myself….I was so desperate for her to find happiness with that guy…one of the nicest guys….and yet…even he was unable to do the right thing. At the time…and in the end. How depressing.

The way other women tolerated the behaviours (the Dean and Madison)…totally realistic.

I am not sure I would even say she was looking for revenge….she was looking for acknowledgment. When she went to see the lawyer and he admitted his role and she could see it had torn him apart, she forgave him. Even with Al Munro handcuffed to the bed, she asked him to say what he had done…for acknowledgement….but he couldn’t.

I thought the ending was perfect. While I would have liked her to go on to live a happy life…the ending was far more reflective of the real world. Everyone should watch this. Especially men.