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The new Swallows and Amazons film is awful, sadly

73 replies

TheCountessofFitzdotterel · 19/08/2016 22:36

Total pile of crap. They've tried to make the Walkers more relatable by making them incompetent, but now that John can't sail and Susan can't cook you're just left wondering wtf Mrs Walker thinks she's doing letting them go off on their own.
Add in a hot mess of an unnecessary Russian spy plot which just ends up slowing it all down, and that's an hour and a half of my life I'll never get back.
Jessica Hynes and Harry Enfield were good and Kelly Macdonald was lovely. And the youngest Swallow was very cute. Otherwise, bah.

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EmpressOfTheSevenOceans · 19/08/2016 22:38

What happened to better drowned than duffers? Sad

Thanks for the warning,Countess. I was sort of toying with going to see it.

PikachuSayBoo · 19/08/2016 22:44

Oh no. Dd is taking me to see it for my birthday. Crap, was looking forward to it.

TheCountessofFitzdotterel · 19/08/2016 22:45

They get the telegram at the start but they do an awful lot of very stupid things.
The new nasty bully John tells Roger he is a duffer and he wishes he had drowned, at one point. (John and Susan are squabbling in the boat and then Roger falls in.) (Did I mention they are now unpleasant as still as incompetent?)

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kansasmum · 19/08/2016 22:45

Oh bugger I was going to take ds to see it as trailer looked good!
Must have been clever editing in the trailer- hate it when a film that looks good in trailer, is actually pants!

TheCountessofFitzdotterel · 19/08/2016 22:46

The boats are very nice.

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EmpressOfTheSevenOceans · 19/08/2016 22:47

What are the Amazons like?

Sgtmajormummy · 19/08/2016 22:51

What a shame!
DD (10) and I had it for bedtime reading aloud at the beginning of the summer and loved the low-tech adventures and outdoor independent life. We even had a girl's night "camping" together in an empty house (long story).
I toyed with the idea of watching the 70s film together but heard a new version was coming out.

If the new film's so bad then it's back to Plan A...

TheCountessofFitzdotterel · 19/08/2016 22:53

Not very likeable but a bit more capable. Pre-raphaelite hair (weird) and northern accents (a reasonable change) but to be honest you don't see an awful lot of them because we're so busy wasting time with spies and seaplane chases. You get no sense of Nancy as a fun and admirable character as in the books.

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TheCountessofFitzdotterel · 19/08/2016 22:57

I am going to get the dvd of the earlier film I think, it's £5 in Morrisons.
My dcs are 11, 9 and 6 and they didn't like it much. The older two have read the book and were disappointed to see characters they are fond of being mean to each other.

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LifeOfBriony · 19/08/2016 23:03

That's a shame, I loved the books and the 1970s film.

But sorry - I need to know - is Titty still called Titty?

TheCountessofFitzdotterel · 19/08/2016 23:05


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Sgtmajormummy · 19/08/2016 23:06


leccybill · 19/08/2016 23:06

I saw the trailer and thought even that looked bad tbh.

Cagliostro · 19/08/2016 23:07

Oh no, I am gutted to read this! I'd had no idea it was being made until I saw the advert about a week ago and got actual goosebumps.

I'm glad of the warning though, so thank you for posting. I may well have gone to the cinema to see it (very rare due to cost) - I won't waste my money then.


LifeOfBriony · 19/08/2016 23:14

Tatty! Er... OK.


TheCountessofFitzdotterel · 19/08/2016 23:17

Yes, there weren't a lot of goosebumps to be had watching this. The best moment was probably Tatty stealing the Amazon from the secret harbour, as in the book.

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Ikeameatballs · 19/08/2016 23:22

I went to see it today with ds aged 6 and dd aged 10 and we all enjoyed it. I thought the "mean" bits were very normal interactions between siblings. Tatty was my favourite character.

Cagliostro · 19/08/2016 23:23

Dang :( I would say I'd just wait for the DVD, but since I left my library job I don't get free rentals anymore! [first world problem]

I have fond memories of playing S&A with my stepdaughters when they were younger. DH would be playing footy on the grass at the park with my stepson, and the girls and I would be running in and out of the bushes shouting various pirating/seadog type insults. Good times. :)

LyndaNotLinda · 19/08/2016 23:35

Oh bum! I have to say that I watched the trailer and was a bit dubious about the whole Russian spy element as I didn't remember that being part of the plot.

Why would they do that? It's a perfectly good story without adding that nonsense in.

Do I need to hoick my bosom?

pennygoodlife · 19/08/2016 23:52

We went today and loved it! Never read the books mind. But it was a good honest British movie! S & A forever!

Lorelei76 · 20/08/2016 00:00

I haven't read it but really like Andrew Scott, Rafe Spall and Kelly M. Are they in it much? From the trailer I sense they aren't.

TheQuestingVole · 20/08/2016 00:18

I'm going to put in a good word for the 1974 film version on DVD, which is very faithful to the book. I'm very fond of it and am refusing to see the new film on principle.

ineedaholidaynow · 20/08/2016 00:28

Love the books and love the original film. Would definitely recommend them.

DS(11) was very excited when he heard there was a new film, but is disappointed that they are not following the book. Not sure whether we will go and see it. May just have to accept it is just very loosely based on the book. Then watch the 1974 film Smile

elephantoverthehill · 20/08/2016 00:29

If on the baby naming threads the choice was Titty or Tatty which would you go for? Or would it just be tit for tat? Grin

Blu · 20/08/2016 00:38

The obvious answer on a baby name thread is Nancy!

But 10/10 for Tit for Tat.

Nancy has been my heroine and role model since I was 6. I stil dream of escaping to Wild Cat Island with my tent.

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