My boyfriend is sexist

[EDamve]

I was just talking with my boyfriend and he told me he is sexist. I don't know how to react because we've been together for so long and I guess I was too blind to notice. He also called feminism trash and pointless. Is it a valid reason to break up after a year ?

There is no valid reason to stay after that comment. Any man that say Feminism is Trash can get to fuck.

You sound quite young, OP. A year is not actually very long. Do you call yourself a feminist? Only you can decide what matters to you in a relationship but your BF has outed himself by telling you he doesn't respect women.

I wouldn't have stayed with him long enough for him to finish the sentence.

A year is not 'so long'
do you want to live your life with a sexist prick?

You don’t need to have a valid reason to break up with anyone you don’t owe him a relationship.
I doubt breaking up with him will change his views but at least you won’t be with a man who feels that way

How have you known him for a year and this has only just been revealed now? Surely he's behaved in sexist ways - in line with his "values" - in the past.

Also it's fairly obvious you should break up with him - why would you want to be with someone who doesn't respect or support women? It's a no-brainer.

I think you need to ask him what he means here. The devil is in the detail.

If he is actually sexist and treats you as if you come second, then obviously split up (although surely that doesn’t take a year to work out?!).

OTOH, if this is some philosophical and semantic difference and he fundamentally likes women and believes they are equal (even equal but different), then you need to have a think about how different his beliefs are from yours and whether this is worth splitting over.

There's a lot of crap on the internet these days about how feminism is the root cause of our current generation's unhappiness. They equate feminism with denigration of the masculine, and blame it for all sorts of conservative hot-button issues like the erosion of 'family values', extreme abortion on demand, female promiscuity, false rape accusations and so on.

Rather than it being, you know, a grass-roots movement which over the past century or so has catapulted women out of the home and into the public sphere. Given us political rights and representation. Given us economic freedom. Shone a light onto men's VAWG and made laws against it. And given us control over our bodies and how we reproduce.

Ask your boyfriend what he thinks feminism is. If he goes on about thing like I've written in my first paragraph, rather than my second, then dump him.

Why would you waste any more time on a man who doesn't see you as his equal? Fuck that, I'd have dumped him instantly.

What did he mean by it

Tbh, dump him if he says the stuff in the second paragraph as well. If he thinks that stuff is "trash", then he isn't worth keeping.

He doesn’t sound too intelligent OP. He probably doesn’t really understand what feminism is and what it has accomplished for women and I’d probably dump him mostly for being dumb.

You spelled EXboyfriend wrong!

My brother goes on like this

A year is not "so long", I've got condiments in my fridge older than your relationship, don't let sunk cost fallacy keep you with a crappy man.

Yes you should break up, he literally just told you he sees you as less than him because of your gender. Come on now.

It's actually quite unusual I think for a sexist to literally just state they were one. Most are in denial, like racists. I'm not sexist, but...'

Yeah you should probably chuck him. Unless he really can suddenly change his entire view on half the population on command.

Drop him immediately OP - he will make your life miserable. one year will feel like nothing very soon

You can do much better than this disrespectful idiot.

I'm wondering what he thinks feminism is

honestly, the world is bat shit now so he might have a completely incorrect definition

I couldn't be with someone who viewed me as inferior, sorry.

I think a lot of "anti-feminist" men will change their tune very quickly once you suggest they should be the sole breadwinner in the household ...

You can do better

Leave now before you have any children. Imagine what that will be like with a sexist man. Also, any sons will treat you, and future partners, the same way; any daughters will be treated poorly and grow up with los self-esteem and expect to be treated this way by future partners.

Depends what he means IMO.

The majority of women aren't feminists nowadays so perhaps he is just echoing their sentiments in a more blunt manner. I mean, there was a thread on here a few weeks back titled 'To think most men are filthy losers.' The majority of the poll agreed with OP.

I can see how men wouldn't be particularly enamoured with that type of sentiment. You certainly wouldn't if you were a POC and the thread was titled 'All black people are filthy losers' or all Jews etc.

Does he believe in 'equality' because that's a bit less ambiguous?

🚩🚩🚩 is this the kind of thing you want being said to your potential future children?!