There is a difference between doing what you want to do in your own recreational time post having a newborn and expecting an institution with its own rules and regulations (health and safety) and that has an obligation to multiple other people to change those to suit you. I agree that life is isn’t easy for women with children and where it is reasonable I do think reasonable adjustments should be made but I also think it’s naive and unrealistic to say that we should all as women be able to chose how things go when we have a baby with regards to work - that’s not how life works and we should expect that in life hard choices have to be made.
OP has already had one child during this degree - a decision that I respect and I actually this is remarkable. Last time she was told she couldn’t bring the baby into the lecture theatre and she missed lectures. She is now weeks from having the baby and the same has happened again and the rules appear not to have changed - I’m not sure why she would expect them to or why you think that she should be able to choose what she does in this regard. OP would actually have been happy to miss the lectures but now she will miss too many and will have to defer by a year if she misses these. I’m sorry but whatever arrangement she expected to have had should have been set out in writing clearly weeks ago.
Like many have said there are many things that could preclude OP from this arrangement. OP has herself said that if this second baby isn’t as easy as the first the arrangement won’t work and she will likely have to defer anyway. She may end up driving 3hrs a day only to sit outside most of the lecture theatre because baby is unsettled (or she may not). Even if she was allowed to bring the baby and the baby didn’t make a peep, taking in the information of a 5-10 hr lecture whilst you’re trying to breast feed multiple times (baby might latch reasonably well or might not, feeds can take up to 45 mins at that age plus can be exhausting) is not the same as going for a 5k walk with your friends.
Aside from OP being successful in her request to have the lectures recorded which she is planning on re-requesting - there are many work arounds to this situation
- OP expresses and leaves baby at home (appreciate may be issues with supply)
- OP gives baby formula for 1 day a week for 10 weeks - and every other day of the baby’s life it is breastfed - OP expresses for comfort whilst in the lectures
- As another PP has said someone could bring baby to the uni campus and op could pop out to feed (this could mean she’s actually missing a lot of the lectures anyway but still counts as being present so doesn’t defer her course
- OP has to defer the course.
OP won’t be the first or last woman to have had to make compromises to her life because she has made the choice to have a child. Many people try to plan their pregnancies around maternity leave entitlements , possible promotions, exams etc precisely because they’re aware that we don’t have complete control and choice over what happens to our careers / work after having a baby. And whilst I think all women should be supported in return to work I can also see as an employer if everyone was allowed to dictate the exact circumstances that works for them individually on their return to work, it would be impractical and unfeasibke to accomodate.
The university / her employer as I believe people are paid for apprenticeships needs to make a decision based on what is the best for everyone in that situation - often insurance will have a lot to do with it too.
I do think an individualised approach could be made if uni are not allowing remote learning in this instance - OP signs a waiver to say university not responsible for anything that might happen to baby, and that if they’re disruptive she has to leave and they ask if the rest of the class would have any objection (contrary to what many have said I suspect very few people would actually be bothered by this especially if there was the promise that if baby became unsettled they would be removed) but they don’t have to do that.