Page 19 | Bringing a newborn to university lectures

DirtyMartinii · 30/09/2025 23:49

I’d be so annoyed if your baby ruined my uni experience. No it’s not appropriate at all to take a new born into a uni theatre

CatchingtheCat · 30/09/2025 23:50

ChangingWeight · 30/09/2025 23:37

Reading between the lines, perhaps OP doesn’t have much support from the father or from her family in terms of childcare. She wouldn’t otherwise be trying to make such an awkward arrangement work. Given the apprenticeship and the desire to graduate “on time”, I’d suggest she’s self-sufficient? Otherwise she’d just be a SAHM?

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Someone is looking after her toddler. And she has said herself she just doesn’t want to express and leave the baby with someone else. Not that she can’t.

Original poster

Nimnuan · 30/09/2025 23:51

Donttellempike · 30/09/2025 23:45

Well that poster clearly hit a nerve. Truth hurts

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After the first few hundred replies telling me I shouldn't be asking, I have started getting slightly annoyed.

OP posts:

Tfishappening · 30/09/2025 23:52

CatchingtheCat · 30/09/2025 23:29

Plenty of posters suggested the father looked after the baby but OP doesn’t want that. What she wants is to subject a very young baby to three hours in the car on top of a ten hour day being restrained on a lap in a lecture theatre.

Have you forgotten the baby here?

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Ten hours? I think lectures that long would be illegal don't you? No one's going to be restrained on a lap for 10 hours.

Settle down with the dramatics. The baby will be with its mother, that's really all newborns need. Have you forgotten that mothers and babies should be together? How much roaming about do you think it will want to do? Why do you imagine it won't have a pram?

Can the father make milk? Unfortunately only OP can do that. And she doesn't want to be apart from her newborn and pump so childcare really isn't an option is it?

ChangingWeight · 30/09/2025 23:53

Nimnuan · 30/09/2025 23:47

Thanks but I actually do have good support at home. It's already five year course that's stretched to six because I started in January rather than September, I don't want it turning into seven years.
I relied on husband/grandparents and pumping last time and I may have to do so again. I really want to avoid it if possible, it's just so hard.
With my last baby she wouldn't have been disruptive, and it would have been much much easier to bring her to uni than carry around a cooler full of milk and pump in the toilets.
While there is a lactation room, if I used it I'd spend more time there or getting there and back than I would in class so toilets really was the only option. I also had very little time to eat or work on assignments because pumping took so much time.
If this baby is the same as the last, I can type while she's content in a sling. If she's not, I'll just be in for a hard few months regardless.

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Fair enough. I totally made the assumption because of you trying to make bringing the baby into lectures work. If you have good support, it’s more reason not to go for that. I’d only consider that if I was a single parent with no support.

CatchingtheCat · 30/09/2025 23:56

Tfishappening · 30/09/2025 23:52

Ten hours? I think lectures that long would be illegal don't you? No one's going to be restrained on a lap for 10 hours.

Settle down with the dramatics. The baby will be with its mother, that's really all newborns need. Have you forgotten that mothers and babies should be together? How much roaming about do you think it will want to do? Why do you imagine it won't have a pram?

Can the father make milk? Unfortunately only OP can do that. And she doesn't want to be apart from her newborn and pump so childcare really isn't an option is it?

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She has already stated it will be ten hours: from 9am to 7pm plus two one and a half hour car journeys.

And now you think she is bringing a big pram into the lecture? How much room do you think there is in the average lecture room?

Why do you think I said pump?

MsAmerica · 30/09/2025 23:59

Nimnuan · 30/09/2025 18:08

I'm on a part-time university course (apprenticeship) and expecting a baby in the next few weeks. I'm not intending to take a break as any break would mean a year's delay. All classes this year my baby will be under 26 weeks old and breastfeeding.
I want to bring her to lectures with me because arranging childcare and expressing breastmilk will be much more difficult at such a young age and given the university's atrocious arrangements for expressing. Obviously if she cries or is disruptive I'll have to step out into the hallway.
I've just been told that I'm not allowed to bring my newborn to lectures because it would be a "contravention of rules and regulations". I've asked to be told which rules and regulations but haven't heard back yet.
Can you give me any advice about how to argue my case?

I'm sorry, but even if you step out into the hallway, it will have been disruptive. And even in the hallway, you can't guarantee that no one will hear.
Sorry, but not only can I not advise you - I'd be someone complaining if you were doing it. I can see no way for you to successfully argue your case. You have no grounds for requesting to be catered to, and your personal convenience does not outweigh the inconvenience to everyone else.

AD1509 · 30/09/2025 23:59

You will never be allowed, or should you be. In a similar way you can’t bring a baby to work with you. We have very clear guidelines about no children on campus in taught sessions . It’s like arguing you should be able to go back to work with a newborn on tow. You have zero chance of accomplishing this. You should however be provided with an adequate place to express

NorthenAdventure · 01/10/2025 00:02

Tfishappening · 30/09/2025 23:52

Ten hours? I think lectures that long would be illegal don't you? No one's going to be restrained on a lap for 10 hours.

Settle down with the dramatics. The baby will be with its mother, that's really all newborns need. Have you forgotten that mothers and babies should be together? How much roaming about do you think it will want to do? Why do you imagine it won't have a pram?

Can the father make milk? Unfortunately only OP can do that. And she doesn't want to be apart from her newborn and pump so childcare really isn't an option is it?

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Well yeh he can, can't he, if they choose to use formula. I know that's not what the OP wants, but quite frankly she wants a LOT. Sometimes when you have kids you have to compromise and decide what is most important to you. I'm speaking as someone who was back at my PhD within 2 weeks of having my second child, and who expressed at work for months (I didn't want my baby to have formula but wasn't entitled enough to think I should take my baby to work, so I compromised by expressing). You can't always have it exactly as you want, so you decide on your priorities and create the best situation you can.

Tfishappening · 01/10/2025 00:03

CatchingtheCat · 30/09/2025 23:56

She has already stated it will be ten hours: from 9am to 7pm plus two one and a half hour car journeys.

And now you think she is bringing a big pram into the lecture? How much room do you think there is in the average lecture room?

Why do you think I said pump?

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The lectures won't be 10 hours long. There will be breaks. For walking, for changing, for eating and sunshine. Don't worry.

If OP is away from her newborn for 10 hours plus driving she'll have to pump won't she? That's just common sense.

How small do you think lecture theatres are?? Are you imagining a broom cupboard? Why on earth wouldn't a pram fit in? Why have you dramatised it but saying a 'big' pram??

Mondaytuesdayhappydays · 01/10/2025 00:06

Oh crikey from a health n safety , insurance a d safeguarding perspective ( my bread and butter) of course not

no case to argue , good grief

Tfishappening · 01/10/2025 00:09

NorthenAdventure · 01/10/2025 00:02

Well yeh he can, can't he, if they choose to use formula. I know that's not what the OP wants, but quite frankly she wants a LOT. Sometimes when you have kids you have to compromise and decide what is most important to you. I'm speaking as someone who was back at my PhD within 2 weeks of having my second child, and who expressed at work for months (I didn't want my baby to have formula but wasn't entitled enough to think I should take my baby to work, so I compromised by expressing). You can't always have it exactly as you want, so you decide on your priorities and create the best situation you can.

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What you really mean is women have to compromise when they have kids. For no reason other than people can't comprehend allowing them to continue on with their lives and have a baby at the same time.

She doesn't want to use formula and she wants to carry on with her studies. If you think that's a LOT to ask for then raise your standards.

Duckduckagogo · 01/10/2025 00:10

The other students are there to learn, your issues are your own. Sort something else out.

Tfishappening · 01/10/2025 00:12

Mondaytuesdayhappydays · 01/10/2025 00:06

Oh crikey from a health n safety , insurance a d safeguarding perspective ( my bread and butter) of course not

no case to argue , good grief

Safeguarding? Of the baby?

OSTMusTisNT · 01/10/2025 00:15

I think it will be okay as long as its fair for everyone, folks can bring their puppies/kittens that can't be left alone all day and people caring for family members can bring dementia suffering Granny/Grandad.

Sounds like a plan and will open up education opportunities for those who struggle to attend at the moment.

🙄

Duckduckagogo · 01/10/2025 00:16

Tunacheesequesadilla · 30/09/2025 18:24

You can't argue your case. It's unfair to other students.

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Correct. It won't happen.

Mondaytuesdayhappydays · 01/10/2025 00:17

Tfishappening · 01/10/2025 00:12

Safeguarding? Of the baby?

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The universe would have to have a safeguarding policy to protect a minor on campus of course!

Theroadt · 01/10/2025 00:20

SummerEve · 30/09/2025 18:24

If people don’t agree with what you are suggesting they aren’t likely to give you tips on how to argue your case!

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Agreed. I was sympathetic with OP (though not in agreement) until she adopted that rather entitled tone. Tuition costs A LOT of money and it simply isn’t fair to others.

Italiangreyhound · 01/10/2025 00:21

Please talk to your tutor and college officials. You absolutely should be able to bring your new baby to uni if they are not disruptive, and if there are no health and safety risks.

Prepare a plan of what you will do to combat any issues, noise etc. It' ridiculous to assume baby will disrupt classes, you can always tale them out of class.

Good luck.

Theroadt · 01/10/2025 00:21

Tfishappening · 01/10/2025 00:09

What you really mean is women have to compromise when they have kids. For no reason other than people can't comprehend allowing them to continue on with their lives and have a baby at the same time.

She doesn't want to use formula and she wants to carry on with her studies. If you think that's a LOT to ask for then raise your standards.

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But what about the standards/tights/wishes of her co-students?

Lavender14 · 01/10/2025 00:29

I'm wondering if there's a student advisor or someone in charge of widening accessibility for the uni you could speak to? I'd be tempted to put it in writing that you'd like the lectures to be recorded/streamed so you can attend remotely. If they then upload the lectures to the student portal it doesn't give you an unfair advantage as all students have access to the recordings and could be set up to only show the lecturer on screen. Is there a students union rep you could speak to? Or if you're employed in the sector you're studying another professional union? Are there accessibility facilitates for you to bring a bassinet pram into the lecture hall as you can't really baby wear/ car seat for 3 hours so I'm also thinking about your accessibility needs if you were to attend in person.

Obviously you're very driven with this, I did a masters while pregnant and had great plans for what was next but I really needed the year to recover even though ds was a relatively easy baby. I'm just wondering why the push not to lose a year if you could defer and give yourself the space to recover? I was so exhausted I was losing things, having the same conversation repeatedly without remembering etc and I know I wouldn't have done myself justice if I had pursued more study at that point. It sounds like you rightly want great things but also as though you're putting yourself under a lot of pressure and I'm just wondering why that is?

Neetra30 · 01/10/2025 00:32

I cant believe this is actually allowed. I would be one of the students complaining if this happened whilst I was studying.
Have you checked your uni policies regarding this matter? Have they said its allowed?

neverpostingidontthink · 01/10/2025 00:33

If you were on my university course I would have no problem with you bringing your baby. This wouldn’t even be a discussion for a man on a university course- as it would fall to the woman

neverpostingidontthink · 01/10/2025 00:34

Neetra30 · 01/10/2025 00:32

I cant believe this is actually allowed. I would be one of the students complaining if this happened whilst I was studying.
Have you checked your uni policies regarding this matter? Have they said its allowed?

Why would you complain? As women we are expected to put our education/career on hold to raise children. Why can’t we do both? I would not complain at all (and I’m child free)

Tfishappening · 01/10/2025 00:36

Theroadt · 01/10/2025 00:21

But what about the standards/tights/wishes of her co-students?

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I think you're wildly overegging the disruption because it suits your narrative. If the baby is crying they leave the room, I don't think OP has ever said she will sit resolutely through the lecture come hell or high water. If it doesn't work it doesn't work - but there's no reason to pretend that the baby will cry every minute and OP will be pacing the aisles throughout.

Lectures at my uni were 'interrupted' all the time by students leaving the room to use the loo - and in more than one case be sick in the corridor - so I really don't think anyone's going to mind if OP is doing her best to minimise disruption. Most normal people would just get on with it.