Got aggressively mansplained r.e. my field

[Tygarolf]

Just been aggressively mansplained to about my field by a member of the public and he really fucked me off tbh. 😂

I don’t often deal with the public, my field is not customer service, I work in a STEM field, but I got brought in to help with a customer complaint and provide some expertise.

I can’t give many details as don’t want to be too outing but the customer aggressively ranted whilst listening to nothing I said, spouting conspiracy theories and things they’d read on Google and concluded that I was useless in my field or a liar, most likely a liar. Ok sir. 😂😂😂

He kept tell me that “you KNOW (insert conspiracy theory here” and after 20 mins of this I said “with all due respect don’t tell me what I know.” He didn’t like that! I ended the call shortly after as he wanted to Google conspiracy theories together to prove he was right. I don’t have the time in my day for this nonsense. 😂

He was so aggressive I feel he just wanted to be aggressive to someone? And felt he could because it’s work i am obviously not going to kick off back at him? I am so glad I don’t encounter people like this often.

Tell me your mansplaining stories.

Had a male colleague explain the menopause to me...I'm 58..he's 24....

I’ve had my own book mansplained to me. 🙄

I’ve had a few encounters like this - especially memorable were the arrogant academic who told me that I was doing my job all wrong and a pile-on on a citizen science project that had morphed into an old boys’ club. 🙄🙄 But I think the mansplaining over MY OWN BOOK still rankles!

I've been a consultant anaesthetist for a decade and a doctor for almost 25 years. As you might expect I'm a mid forties woman.

A couple of months ago a mature male nursing student in the first week of their course told me I wasn't using the bag-valve mask equipment properly to ventilate the patient.

When I asked him to show me how he thought I should be using it he refused.

(The patient never had low oxygen saturations during this entire episode.) The nurse who was supervising him fed back to him but this was not a one-off incident. The university link nurse had a word and it continued. When it was raised at our consultant meeting the only people who hadn't had negative experience were my male colleagues.

Gotta love the confidence of a middle aged man.

My brother tried to tell me that the primary biological function of women's breasts was not breastfeeding 🤪 then said I was being antifeminist by claiming it was.

I breastfed both my kids until they were almost 5 years old and was talking about how women are often shamed for extended breastfeeding.

He has no kids (and no breasts) 😂

I was interviewed on the radio lately about something (National v local
policy; I was asked for commentary) and was very surprised to get a phone call afterwards from a random man to tell me how and why I was wrong. He launched straight in, and was very aggressive, so I waited until he drew breath to say ‘well, you’ve rung me out of the blue so perhaps you could introduce yourself, and then give me the right of reply?’

I was absolutely refusing to let him rattle me, so was more keen to keep him on the phone and talk him down than wrap the call up in his wrath. At the end of the call, I asked ‘by the way, I’m curious - I’ve never rung somebody off the radio. Do you often do so?’ He said it was his first time, so I said ‘well, I suppose you’ll have to ask yourself why, out of all the people you’ve ever heard interviewed on this policy, you picked me to Google, ring and berate, and does me being a lone female expert on this topic have anything to do with your decision.’

This an absolute masterpiece of how to deal with such individuals

Most definitely. have had this and with one particular colleague he would repeat what point I had made with great - intensity- and with much - emphasis- and with an air of gravitas. Annoyed me alot.

I have a male student who has a habit of mansplaining something I know perfectly well I taught him. That's irritating.

I had a student attempt to educate me about the new and exciting theories he had been researching. Those would be the theories I'd taught him a few weeks earlier. His 'research' involved reading articles on my 'suggestions for further reading' list and watching recordings of online conference workshops. I am clearly leading one of the workshops.

@Basketballhoop Yep, 1988 - Riana Duncan is the cartoonist

I'm laughing at this because precisely the same thing happened to me.

By a man who had plagiarised my book, and delivered a paper using my own theme and framework in a conference in which I was sitting directly in front of him knowing whose words and ideas he was quoting without due acknowledgement.

A direct accusation of cheating in those circumstances would have been unthinkable - very unprofessional and you don't confront the culprit without solid evidence. So I put him on the spot in the Q&A by asking a few awkward questions. This was when the aggressive mansplaining took place. His abstract was also directly lifted, almost word for word, from my work, so I was able to show the conference organisers this. They were putting together an edited collection of essays arising from the conference.

Needless to say, his was not included.

My teenage son bought me a present of Rebecca Solnit’s ‘Men Explain Things to Me’ which firstly is a great present and also makes me feel I’ve done ok with one man going into the world. That starts with a man explaining the book that she herself has written and he cannot compute her trying to let him know that.

Went to a well known car shop to buy a head light bulb, bloke at the till asked which one I needed and that he was sorry and would only be able to fit it tomorrow as they were booked up and it would be £15 to fit plus the bulb. I didn't know which bulb I needed so said I'd go get it from the car and i can fit it myself! Same time it took me to get the blown bulb out of the headlight, go back into shop to get a new bulb then go out and fit it to my car, the man parked next to me with the same make car was having a headlight bulb fitted by the shop and the male fitter couldn't work out how to get the bulb out!!!! I was quite smug as I drove off with my new working headlight

Your response is epic. There should be a plaque to you somewhere.

That's interesting cos the one I have is from a US magazine, and the drawing is different, it's a huge boardroom table with more people around it.. I suppose great minds think alike
.
I worked in a techie job, and was once asked by a client if there wasn't a man available, is that why they've sent 'a girl' who probably doesn't know anything..
I gave him the option of having the problem fixed now by a girl, or waiting until a man who knew it all became available in a day or two.. 😡

I had one where a very senior man was, in a very senior and crowded meeting on a high-stakes issue, setting out for me the extreme basics of how to do the tasks of my team (ie about four levels below what I actually do).

Then another equally senior man interjected and said "Er, Alan, I think you're mansplaining Jassy's job to her and she's better at it than either of us, that's why she's here."

Could have knocked me down with a feather. To do "Alan" justice, he apologised profusely both in the meeting and privately afterwards.

My idiot (male) boss once coincidentally met a friend of mine at a sport they both do and proceeded to explain to her in great detail how wind works.
She has a PhD in tropical cyclones.

A bloke tried to mansplain the field i did my PhD I to me once. I said that was fascinating and actually I'd given a paper about it at xxx conference. He said "well of course, I was the keynote speaker". He wasn't. I highly suspect that he wasn't even there.

Oh, I love that anecdote. The sheer patronising arrogance of that man! Men Explain Things To Me is a great book.

Working with a more junior male colleague on an advisory report for a client in a particular industry. One of the key terms used in the client briefing had a specific technical industry meaning that would be important to our report. I explained this to junior male but he disagreed, on the basis that his view of the meaning of the word was 'common sense' and decided to go to my line manager (also male) for confirmation. Line manager knew that I had a degree and post grad qualification relating to that industry, and I referred to this in my explanation (offering the 'get out' that perhaps the word had an obvious layman's meaning but in context my interpretation was right). Line manager agreed with junior male and told me that I was making things 'unnecessarily complicated'. I came back to them with copies of extracts from my industry text books etc to back up my view (it's something that would be considered very basic industry knowledge). Line manager accused me of wasting time and being insubordinate so he took me off the project and worked with junior male directly. Even after this, I tried to save the situation by suggesting that they ask the client to confirm that they had the correct interpretation, just to be sure, but Line Manager threatened me with a warning on my file if I raised the issue again.

When client received the report they complained that there was a basic misunderstanding of a key concept (ie, I was right) and insisted on a total re-write and heavy discount. Line manager tried to blame me and said I should have been more forceful when I disagreed. When I pointed out that I had tried but had been threatened with disciplinary action he claimed that this was 'just an expression'.

@MarieDeGournay Which option did he go for?

Sounds like your cartoon is probably the first, then. From everyone’s experiences on here it also sounds like it still needs repeating, sadly. I’ve not had a man explain my job to me, but having a unisex name has shown me I get a more respectful correspondence if people presume they’re addressing a man!

100% he would have done the same if you were a man. Or do you think he would suddenly stop believing in conspiracy theories if a man told him they're nonsense? If it were that easy, there'd be far less conspiracy theories.

I honestly don't think they even realise they are doing it. They don't consciously pay attention to women. From their POV this idea/comment sort of appears in their head and they assume it's their own.

When I was working in the 80s I had a job answering telephone queries and complaints about bills. We were a team of 6 on line, 5 women, one man, and an assistant who did filing and tea making (male). And every once in a while there would be a man who wouldn't listen to what you said and would insist on speaking to a man. So, if the man on the team was already engaged, we'd put him through to the other male - the file assistant and tea boy. And they always listened as he told them exactly what he'd already been told. And acccepted it.😕