Detransing

[Blueberrylvrr]

Firstly I'm not sure if I'm posting this in the right place, if this is in the wrong please pls feel free to move it, I also hope it's ok for me to post on this site in general as I'm not a parent

the reason I'm posting is that I'm looking for any sort of help or guidance, I'm 19 years old and decided I need to de transition. I was transitioning female to male but it's not right for me it's not what I want, I even started hormones (stopped taking them now). I don't want to transition it's not what I need

im not sure what to do, how to tell people, I'm so lost. I wish I never learnt what trans was i fear it's ruined my life my body my future

if anyone has any advice please share, I'm so lost now, all I know is that I am definitely not trans ❤️ thank you

I am not sure you need to do much other than just be you. Wear what you like and just carry on. I guess if you have changed your name that may be a bit more complicated, but if you changed it to something generic sounding you can stick with it.
You have already stopped the chemicals which is what most people have concerns about initially , for the very reason that quite a few people do decide that transitioning has not been the answer they thought it might be.
You don't have to explain yourself to anyone.
Maybe see your GP if you have medical concerns.

If this is actually genuine - you know you just stop any treatment/ if you’re on meds then you have a Dr you could speak to. You could also speak to a trusted friend. However this reads much more like someone who is using a fake story to make a point.

Be who you are. Wear what you want. Call yourself whatever pleases you. Get help to check any medical issues if you need to.
You don't need to explain anything to anyone unless you want to but people who love you will understand.
Who we are changes throughout our lives and thats ok. Do what makes you truly happy in your skin.

Have a think about your support network. Was there anyone checking you had read all the info, asking whether you’d considered x,y,z? They may be very pleased to know you are detransing and happy to support you. My young friend insisted they knew everything they needed and assured me it was fine for them. It may be they’ll remember my polite concerns should the time come they want to desist.

Check in with your GP- they may have advice about health implications.

Randoms really won’t care.
Some of your nearest and dearest will be relieved.
You may have some friends in the LGBTQIA community that push back- but gender fluid is a thing and everyone is who they say they are, so hold your ground. You know what’s best for you.

Speak to Sarah Vaci www.facebook.com/share/itXgcnNQfBCrbZh1/

She is lifting the voices of detransitioned women.

Thank you,

I promise I'm genuine, but I'm not quite sure how I'd prove that

I'm going to speak to my DR. My closest friends were all supportive but none of them are lgbt so I don't think they will push back too much?

I changed my name to something very masculine sounding via deedpoll, but that is something I am going to look to reverse

thank you

I agree with the other poster, just be you.

No need for labels or announcements. Change your name back, or choose a new name. Wear what you feel like wearing. Only mention pronouns if someone refers to you as him in front of you, otherwise just let it be. People will move on. This matters far more to you than it does to anyone else (as it should)

The exception to this would be your parents (and siblings if you are on good terms). Just admit you made a mistake and are moving on with your life (and thank them for their support if they gave it)

Good luck for the future.

Who cares, just be yourself.

You aren't the centre of everyone's world.

Not being mean but literally, just be you.

Google 'navel gazing'

You might want to have a look at the genspect website or beyond trans.org

There are many non-parents on here OP - don't worry about that.

Changing your name doesn't sound like a problem but I note that you are worried that you might have damaged your body - that is something to discuss with your Dr. (Fingers crossed for you on that.)

Hopefully it soon feels like an experiment with experience - an episode in your life- rather than a terrible error.

I hope that you will find that you have plenty of love and support around you and that you don't feel alone and lost for too long.

I would second this.

It might be helpful to meet/reach out to other detransitioners. Genspect might be able to signpost you.

Wishing you all the very best, OP.

Many of us have had difficult journeys to become who we are. We are not any fixed point in our journey. We are constantly evolving and becoming the best person we can be. All you can do is what makes you happy. If you are a happy, fulfilled person then you can make a positive contribution to society. Your only obligation is to yourself. Be who you are xxx Be happy xxx

So true.

Ignore the posters being a bit mean, and well done for reaching out @Blueberrylvrr

You're doing all the right things - stop taking the hormones, speak to your doctor, and research detransitioner support groups. Reverse your name change.

And celebrate yourself and your courage to know to stop this before it went too far. Well done.

There's no reason for anyone to have a problem with you doing what's best for you. It's not hurting anyone else. Just tell everyone that you've realised that you were on the wrong path and you've decided to revert back. No big deal, you're young and still working out who you are. Hopefully your body hasn't been damaged but definitely speak to a dr about it.

There's a detrans Reddit. r/detrans

When you first decided to transition you had all of these things to do then, all these people to tell, decisions to make about how you wanted to dress and refer to yourself etc.

So you are just reversing that process. Your proper friends will help and support you through it. If anyone judges or makes comments you don't like, they aren't worthy of you and that says way more about who they are than who you are. Worrying about other people is not what you need right now, you need to get back as soon as you can, to a version of you that you feel comfortable with.

Remember you are very brave and you will get through this. Definitely see your GP, but not just for advice on the effect of the hormones. You need some counselling as you're clearly in a bit of a mess right now. And you need people to fall back on as this is a big thing to address if you're alone. So if you don't have family or the kind of friends that you can just unload all your feelings onto, talk to your GP about support groups etc.

Finally, be proud of yourself. If you've come to this conclusion, you're beginning to work yourself out, even though you are very confused still. Go with it and let it happen. And ignore anyone on here who questions if you're making it up. There will always be someone saying that as people do sometimes invent threads for whatever reason. The accusers need to remember that they can do a lot of harm and keep their thoughts to themselves.

Very best of luck x

Thank you for all the kind words, I feel slightly less scared now xx

The r/detrans Reddit is very good and compassionate.

@Blueberrylvrr
I was just thinking about you and wondering how you're doing. Hope all is well and you're happy.

Well done love, it's definitely the right decision for your body. <3

What are you struggling with the most / what advice do you need?

there is another feminism board called 'sex and gender' where you might get some more responses.

Hi Op,

I understand not all families are the same but we have a close family member around your age who is FtM. I can guarantee if he ever wanted to detransition he would get nothing but love and support from us all. Ditto if he chooses to continue transitioning.

We love him, as a person. His gender is not important to us.

I would try to organise some therapy to work out why you thought transitioning was the right thing to do in the first place. You will be able to work through your feelings about detransitioning as well with a decent therapist.

You're not under any obligation to make a big announcement or to explain yourself to anyone, so just take your time and do what you need to do.