School uniform inspection?

[Madwife123]

Reposting here as I don’t think the posters in AIBU are understanding the question I’m trying to ask and that this isn’t about the skirt length or otherwise but the appropriateness of an adult asking a child to lift their clothing in public. Can I have some opinions on what you would do please?

DD aged 11 has just started high school.

The school is very strict on uniform which we knew. She has the problem of being tall and slim so when shopping for skirts, all the one’s that came to her knees were falling down on her, even with an adjustable waist. No option for the girls to wear trousers at the school. Skirt is the school patterned one, doesn’t come in different lengths and can’t just get any skirt as has to be a particular one. So the skirt she ended up with is a tiny bit too short. I’ve measured and it’s 1.5 cm above the top of her knee. She has thick opaque black tights with the skirt.

She was stopped by a teacher in the corridor at school and told her skirt is too short and to roll it down. She explained it wasn’t rolled up and the teacher told her to lift her jumper up so she could see her waistband and prove it wasn’t rolled up. This was in front of other pupils.

This really doesn’t sit right with me and I’m considering making a complaint but wanted to know if I’m overreacting.

I know she had a shirt on under her jumper but even so I just don’t think it’s ok that an adult can ask a child to lift an item of clothing, particularly in front of others. Are we not supposed to be teaching our daughters bodily autonomy? That no one has the right to ask them to undress in any way, no matter how small without their consent? She feels embarrassed and humiliated and is really upset by this and I just can’t understand how this can be deemed acceptable.

Would this bother you if it was your child?

Your issue should be not allowing trousers. I have also already commented on your other thread. You need to get her a longer skirt and should focus on the trouser issue.

OP, I think you are getting an unnecessarily harsh response on this thread, but then again I'm from a non-uniform country, so I find the rationale for school uniform, and especially its minutiae, difficult to understand.

But I do think the bigger feminist issue here is why girls are not allowed to wear trousers.

Some girls say that the reason they roll skirts is because it is expected by boys. It makes them 'cool and attractive'. By having strict rules about uniform schools protect girls from feeling they have to show their bodies to boys. For those who talk about the skirt not hanging right due to being taken in at the waist you should see how a pleated school skirt hangs when rolled over several times at the waist!

Hi,

Funny enough we had a similar issue this week. My year 10 passed a uniform test on Friday morning. She ran into her old woodwork teacher in a hallway that afternoon (she was actually helping a fellow student that had been molested the week before at a casual job but whatever). Context is my kid sucked at woodwork in year 8, apologies for being intellectual & not a carpenter.

He said to her I think your skirt is too short I don’t want to see your arse… He then said I suppose you have grown (since year 8 she’s now year 11). She has anxiety & ocd and put her head down starting to tear up and he continued to berate her.

My god bring on tommorrow morning I will have his head on a platter.

❤️

Being asked to show the waistband is totally reasonable and the fact it was in public makes it even more appropriate.

You should have bought a bigger skirt and had the waistband tailored.

I don’t understand why you haven’t bought her uniform that fits her?

You didn't get the responses you wanted with a broad audience so are seeking a smaller audience of people you hope are more likely to agree with you? This is how echo chambers arise.... But I do think trousers should be an option at your school.

Exactly THIS! My DD has the opposite problem and we got the skirts shortened.

Oh hunny the uniform fits her completely. Would you be comfortable with your child lifting up her clothes in front of the year level. Read the room 🤣

the fact it was in public makes it even more appropriate….. lol the fact it was in public makes it a privacy breach

Sorry tulipcat what?? You are ok with a teacher commenting on your daughters arse….

Ok right. Your daughters skirts were too long so you had them shortened.

I can hear the sense from the last few posts #welcometogilead

Sorry tulipcat I didn’t get the responses I wanted with a broad audience…????? 🤣🙄🙄

I think you are confusing me for the op. I’m in Australia. Specifically Victoria and this happened 2 days ago, my dd told me when she came home on Friday evening. It’s now Sunday night in Australia. my dd is going back to school in about 9 hours. For the record I left voicemails and emails for the school on Friday afternoon after she came home.

thanks for the judgement. There’s nothing quite like females supporting females. 💪

I think your own experiences are making you over react - which is understandable.

If I was you, I'd buy her a skirt that is too big at the waist but the right length, and go and get it taken in at the waist - I paid £8 recently to have that done in a local place.

It wouldn't bother me

Sorry I’m not sure I understand what my experiences are?

@MumBusy I was addressing the OP not you

Eh? I am not confusing you with the OP, I am replying to the OP, not you! My comment was in reference to the OP, nothing to do with you. Don't know why you thought it was to you really.

Yes I'm afraid I agree with this.

I understand why this is sensitive for you. But it was both foreseeable and avoidable.

But is it correct for a mixed sex sate school not to have a trousers option for girls?

I thought skirts-only was only for all-girls schools.

So I think OP is more likely to make progress in bringing the school into line with co-ed norms in regards to trousers than she is with any complaint about a routine skirt check which requires only small movement of the hem of an outer garment.

Having trousers as an option wouldn't stop waistband inspections because girls will continue to roll up their skirts.
They did it 30-odd years ago when I was at school and they still do it.
It would be good for OP's daughter though.

I thought skirts-only was only for all-girls schools.

What is the rationale for this? It seems wrong to mandate skirts for girls in any school setting, especially considering that trousers have been widely accepted attire for women in almost every setting for many years.

Look at the height of the poster's dd? Seems fairly obvious that a taller girl might have a shorter shirt.

As for the idea that you should buy a skirt (or in practice, several of them) and get it altered - seriously? How much money do you all have?

However, it wasn't inappropriate to ask to see if the waistband was rolled up - just a bit stupid.

I also think the school needs to be asked why girls can't wear trousers as it quite clearly breaches the Equality Act.

Indeed.

It's your responsibility to make sure she has the correct uniform and you failed in that

But she did have the correct uniform. The teacher just decided that it was too short. That isn't the same thing as not having the correct uniform.

FWIW, I think rules like this are absolutely stinking bollocks and a waste of everyone's time.