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Feminism: sex and gender

Original poster

D of E expedition: mixed sex groups

72 replies

trytopullyoursocksup · 12/02/2023 07:48

Is this the norm now?
My 13 year old says they have been "given" their groups. Hers includes 2 other girls, a boy she is friends with and a boy she doesn't particularly seem to know well (she has never talked about him before).
I feel weird about this. is there anything I can do? A million years ago, my friends who did D of E (I didn't) were all at a girls school and went with other girls - but I also seem to remember that they chose their groups among themselves. Which is may be irrelevant.
I don't really expect anything bad to happen. But if it was a party or a social event, I would be saying no mixed sex sleepovers. I am not happy about that line being weakened and I don't know what to do
thoughts please?

OP posts:
Tumbleweeder · 12/02/2023 07:49

They just walk together in mixed groups of about six and camp in a whole group made up of all the separate walking groups at the end of the day in single sex tents or their own tents. Our school had several teachers camping amongst them.

nicknamehelp · 12/02/2023 07:51

They don't share tents just walk together. They all camp together with teachers so really not sure what issue is.

BCBird · 12/02/2023 07:55

I agree with ths previous person. In my opinion life is mixed sex (and obviously do is her school) so why shouldn't this be? I have been on many residential trips in a secondary school,staff are clear on expectations re single sexes accommodation, and are vigilant. As for her not mentioning this other boy why should she? The groups found hsve been chosen by staff. Usually the pupils come back full of enthusiasm. Wonderful opportunity.

NeverTrustAPoliceman · 12/02/2023 07:55

I went on a three day mixed sex DofE expedition in the 70s. We walked together and had a girls tent and a boys tent, far away from our supervisors. Nothing happened.

TeenDivided · 12/02/2023 07:58

As others have said, they will be in single sex tents.
The advantage of boys in the group may be that they may be bigger and stronger, and able to take more of the communal weight.
(Or of course they may not.)

TheWumpus · 12/02/2023 07:59

I remember a D of E hike in a group of me and three boys. The main issue was that I had to carry a whole tent and the others shared theirs between the three of them, which made a huge difference to the weight and size of our packs. Also it was really cold and having others in your tent makes a big difference to warmth. If the split between sexes is a bit more even, those issues wouldn't be such a big deal.

LolaSmiles · 12/02/2023 08:02

Mixed sex is common, with separate sex tents on the same campsite as everyone else on the expedition, including leaders.

CatOnTheChair · 12/02/2023 08:06

OK. The other alterntiveos waking in girls group and a boys group. They then all pitch up at the same campsite - because the staff aren't going to be supervising more than one campsite.
As it is the overnight part you are concerned about, there will be no difference.

FWIW, DS has just started DoE through school. The only rule about the groups was that they had to be mixed.

GenAndWine · 12/02/2023 08:08

I spent ten years running DoE expeds. I don’t think we ever had a single sex group. Very occasionally I’d have one person of one sex and three of another who needed an exped and would have to magically produce a second girl/boy to round the group.

Tent wise absolutely fine for the tent to be shared by weight and then rearranged at the campsite. We quite often did the weaker group members carried the poles or the stove and the stronger ones took the bulk of the tents.

GrammarTeacher · 12/02/2023 08:10

I went to a girls school. My D of E expedition team had boys from the neighbouring school in it. Was great find

GrammarTeacher · 12/02/2023 08:10
  • fun - on phone.
BitOutOfPractice · 12/02/2023 08:12

Yep, mixed walking, single sex tents. That’s what happened at my mixed school in the 80s. Sure it’s the same now.

dew141 · 12/02/2023 08:12

I think the mixed group is a positive, as others have said.

My son found it a good bonding experience and made some new friends on his gold expedition. He also helped the girls out in terms of carrying the heavier things.

I was in an all-girl group for my gold expedition and it was miserable. Not because it was just girls but we were a group of only four and we had a girl in a wheelchair who was really rude to us all. Give me a larger mixed group any day!

sashagabadon · 12/02/2023 08:13

Yes for the hiking. No for the sleeping

helpfulperson · 12/02/2023 08:15

Staff will be nearby but they shouldn't be camping with the young people. The whe point is about independence. On a proper campsite staff will camp elsewhere on the site or depending on location somewhere else entirely. Wild camping they should be a few hundred metres away.

weightymatters73 · 12/02/2023 08:15

In DS's the boys ended up carrying some of the girls stuff (overpacking!!) - they weren't bothered and it all sounded quite cooperative...They had a girls tent and a boys tent.

dew141 · 12/02/2023 08:16

My son also didn't get to choose his group at school, they were assigned. Actually, thinking about it, his bronze expedition was a single sex group as it's a boys' school.

He did his gold expedition independently so didn't know anyone before he started. They soon make friends.

thatheavyperson · 12/02/2023 08:20

My D of E group 10 years ago was mixed sex, we chose our own groups. Tents were single sex.

gogohmm · 12/02/2023 08:23

It's was mixed sex groups of 6 when I did it! Two tents of 3 segregated

gogohmm · 12/02/2023 08:25

The lads carried extra kit when dd was doing it because they could only carry proportionate to their body weight

AuntieStella · 12/02/2023 08:27

Mixed at our school.

As pps said, they all the groups come together at one campsight overnight (where the participants will still be expected to look after themselves, but there are a couple of teachers staying awake in shifts to do a kind of sentry duty)

Also it was mixed when I did it back in the early 80s

MrWhippersnapper · 12/02/2023 08:30

Complete non issue

Changingmynameyetagain · 12/02/2023 08:31

I did DofE way back in the 90s and it was mixed sex groups, my group was 2 girls and 4 boys.
We had single sex tents though, apart from one night where our tent leaked so badly we all ended up together.

GiraffeLaSophie · 12/02/2023 08:39

As others have said, they won’t be sharing a tent. In fact, one of my groups got told off by an expedition leader (external company) because they’d all squashed themselves into a single tent to play a card game. They had the door open and it’s not like there was just one boy and one girl, but he told them he could fail them for that.

tillyoumakeit · 12/02/2023 08:40

Just to agree with the other PP, mixed sex groups at our school for walking but 100% single sex for sleeping! There are teachers on hand, both during the walk to check in with them, and at the end of the day/overnight.

Also part of Dof E is learning to work well with people you might not know or think you'd naturally be friends with. Your DD might get a lot out of working with some kids outside her friendship circle. She might make a new great friend 🙂