‘Why MeToo Fall-out is wrecking the lives of schoolboys’ - Sunday Times share token

[EmmatheStageRat]

www.thetimes.co.uk/article/ac7c5012-a40e-11ed-9d5c-69bd3c5b98b3?shareToken=db32fb73042c2fea7a10c1ad4c26f19c

“Now any boy who puts a hand on a bosom because he is slightly drunk and has not asked is being in danger of being ostracised and shamed.”

So learn to ask and keep your hands to yourself if the answer is no?

I have a son and, I’m sorry, but I don’t see the negativity for boys at all. They finally need to learn to respect women. The article, in my opinion, lacks any views from the girls who made those allegations and how they are affected in comparison. Some of those allegations are serious, including alleged rape - missing exams over that is hardly comparable to the victim’s experience if guilty. The whole article just feels silly to me - boys are capable of not touching someone else’s body when drunk without asking. Women and girls can’t and shouldn’t change their right to their own bodies because boys and men are unwilling to manage their own emotions.

I worked in a school where a boy sent violent pornography to a girl in a science lesson because she had come out as a lesbian. Nothing happened to the boy. She still had to be in lessons.

If the tide is turning on this - then good.

If society is wrongly teaching boys that women's bodies can be freely handled, then society needs to shape up.

It's not the women's anger about it that's the problem.

Peculiar how this is something that she’s so worried about?

Not the violent porn that most boys grow-up with, not the fact that sexual assault among peers have risen, the fact that young girls are having sex before they’ve had their first kiss, violent sexual behaviour - a lot of girls/ women are straight up abused in the name of kink these days, no worries aboit ever growing beauty standards, the rise of all different movement where men spew their hatred towards women, sex work, the ’sex positivity’ movement that turned out to be a total bust, revenge porn, deepfakes….

No, none of these worry this woman.
It’s the poor bous who can’t go freely sexually assulting girls, yes - that’s what we all should be worried about.

I have 2 teens. Boy/girl.

What I see from them is that there are still loads of rapey situations. When my dd's friend was 14, her 14yo boyfriend tried to force her to have sex when she didn't want to. My dd is now very careful about which boys she associates with. There are some who are just nice normal boys and she will happily work with them. There are others who are just budding rapists IMO. Coming up behind her in the corridor with dick pics on their phones asking her if she wants to see them. They know this behaviour is wrong. They don't care. So it will just escalate. Luckily my dd is quite imposing and not afraid to tell them to fuck off. But really she shouldn't have to tolerate this shit.

Touching someone's boob is not on. Not sure why the woman writing that article thinks that's OK. Perhaps she grew up in the era when getting your tits/ass fondled by randoms whenever they felt like it was pretty normal. I've had it done to me a university.

“Now any boy who puts a hand on a bosom because he is slightly drunk and has not asked is being in danger of being ostracised and shamed.”

Good! They should be shamed! society has moved on, thankfully, and most people understand that women are not just pieces of meat to be manhandled by the nearest bloke who fancies a feel. Maybe she hasn't got the memo?!

If blokes cant keep their hands to themselves when 'slightly drunk' then they shouldnt be drinking. THATS what we should be teaching our boys.

I hope one day all boys and men will learn that women and girls are not just there for the taking or touching. Then ‘me too’ may not even exist. There needs to be strong consequences and shame attached to out of order behaviour, whether drunk or sober.

Maybe boys will finally have to learn that they shouldn't touch women's bodies without consent?

I mean it's not exactly making me feel bad for these boys, the author doesn't even say the allegations were false, only that the poor boys couldn't sit their A levels..

Imagine a world where every single act of unwanted touching was actively punished. After all it starts with touching and ends with assault, rape, murder. If all unwanted and non consensual touch were a crime and prosecutions were brought, what an amazing world of freedom that would open up for women and girls.

I have 4 DC teens/ early twenties.
I'm pleased society is moving away from expecting woman to accept unwanted sexual approaches and touching as part of life .
However I do see how one stupid ill thought incident or perhaps a malicious accusation could wreck a young person's life.
Teens are pack animals and things can grow out of all proportion very quickly especially on social media. Context is everything.

Horrible article and very disappointing that it was written by a woman. No, touching a girl's boob after a few drinks is not learning to handle your teenage sexuality. Is it ok if girls randomly touch a boy's penis?

Boy's need to be taught to keep their hands to themselves. None of these boys get any sympathy from me.

'“Now any boy who puts a hand on a bosom because he is slightly drunk and has not asked is being in danger of being ostracised and shamed.

Good. why the f-ck should boys be allowed to grope girls and get away with it? I have a son, and I don't care how drunk he gets, he should be touching anyone's breasts or private parts without their express consent.

It's not rocket science. I'm gay and have successfully managed to NOT touch any girl or woman without their consent. I really can be as easy as 'Can I kiss you' or 'Is this okay?' etc.

I used to be a steward at concerts at Wembley. I gave it up because the groping from random blokes was constant.
"It's only a bit of fun, love".
What is wrong with (some) men.

Bizarre misogynistic article, leave the poor wee rapey boys/ men alone.
Would expect this from some male authors but then to see a woman....

WTF have I just read?!! So girls and women should just keep their mouths shut and accept being groped (and worse) because now boys and men are experiencing some negative consequences as a result of sexual harassment against females?

I have teenagers and I don't recognise any of what is being described in this bizarre article. Low level sexual harassment still goes largely unchecked and unpunished in secondary schools.

I have a 14 year old boy.
I am not in the least concerned about him being ostracised or anything else due to his behaviour towards girls at school because he behaves respectfully towards them.
And if he doesn’t being ostracised will be the least of his worries

Women like the author of this article give me the RAGE!
come in! The least we can do for our girls is keep them safe from all sexual harassment or at least have an expectation that our boys won’t harass them as part of the boys ‘development.’
FFS.

I have two sons. I can’t believe this article has been written by a woman. Fucks sake.

So, some boys are 2 years behind developmentally as they spent lockdown playing violent video games and watching porn. But it's still girls' fault for reporting it. And girls are to blame for the Government underfunding the criminal justice system so cases take years, too, and prosecutions are so rare? And we should feel sorry for the boys, rather than even begin to tackle any of these issues. Just makes me angry.

Oh fgs! So women are Evil Demon Temptresses and boys cannot be expected to control themselves?

Fuck off to the far side of suck and when you get there, fuck off some more.

That's .."to the far sude of fuck and when you get there..."

How to ruin a perfectly good MN put down. Sorry to the originator, you deserve better.

Oh, fgs
"...far SIDE..." obvs 🙃

What an idiotic article. She isn't even arguing that boys are being falsely accused. She's admitting they're behaving in predatory ways (for a variety of societal reasons) but rather than addressing that, the focus is on girls shutting the fuck up about it because the boys are now getting some negative consequences. I'm glad girls are able to share the names of predatory males on Whisper. Couldn't give less of a fuck if these gropey males are ostracised.
Reminds me of the hand-wringing over Brock Turner having his life ruined for
"20 minutes of action."

wtf have i just read, what about the distressed girls who have been on the receiving end of unwanted contact? The boys she is seeing need to learn about consent then they wont find themselves in trouble

And I say this as a mother of boys

#MeToo was long overdue and I posted on Everyone's Invited.

I still feel sick at the amount of groping, slapping, pinching and 'accidental' touching I was subjected to against my will in school and out.

I'm happy for my daughter that this is being taken seriously by sane people these days. Disappointed by the woman who wrote the article. Maybe she should be happy that none of her clients are needing help with a life-threatening condition. She's making money from the parents of these entitled boys instead and expects girls to put up and shut up with no thought to their mental health.

I sure as hell wouldn't be taking my child to see her! She agrees that online trends are harmful for boys but wants to ban girls from reporting it. I despair.

Clumsily put by me but brain fog crossed with anger does not make a good post, sorry.

She can reassure all boys that rape is pretty much legal in the uk now and if they did rape someone it’s almost 99% certain they’ll get away with it.