single sex schools

[TheMagicPaintbrush]

Hi. I wondered whether anyone here has deliberately sent their daughter to a traditional single sex school because of the gender shenanigans? I've never liked the idea of single sex schooling in the past, but if you had to choose between a quite traditional single-sex option and a more "woke" mixed sex one, what would you do? TIA.

Please don't inflict your daughter on a single sex school

Anyone who used the term 'woke' would not be welcome at my DD's

Why?

I went to all girls. Lots of very nasty bullying, some subtle, some not so. Teachers the same. My DC now at mixed and very much happier than I was. When you say girls can get on with work without boys' interference, how do you think they'll then cope in the workplace if they've never worked with boys before? Some might automatically ride roughshod over the men yes, but others will have no idea how to behave, particularly if they've grown up with authoritarian fathers.

From a psychological perspectives, would a single sex school encourage, more female relationships due to how close friends ect people became ?

I’m a big advocate of single sex education for girls. I’ll absolutely be going down this route. And avoiding that uses too much of the expression “liberal ethos”. Ironically I used to be “liberal” myself in some ways. Until “liberal” —> “woke”.

What you mean by having “no idea how to behave”.

What is it that you think single sex educated girls would be more prone to doing?

My dds are at single sex secondary, after a mixed primary. They describe it as a relief - no collective punishment because of a small group of rowdy boys who just won’t behave, a much quieter learning environment, studying books in English with female main characters, study topics no longer being based on the interests of the boys to try and engage them, space to play sport at lunchtime without being crowded out by boys playing football.

This is partly the primary to secondary change, partly a change of sector, but it’s also a focus on them and their needs and preferences. They both much prefer it.

They meet boys at various activities outside school, and also have joint events with the linked boys’ school. I’m not at all worried that they won’t know how to interact with boys - apart from anything else, it’s not rocket science! I went to university from single sex schools, and left with mostly close male friends. It just wasn’t an issue.

I never see the sense in that argument. Girls might struggle to be around men when they are 18, educated, more mature and self confident, so let's make them struggle to learn around immature disruptive boys when the girls are 11 and about to hit puberty.

As I said up thread, I went to single sex schools from 7 to A levels, and then was at a female college at university. I had no problem adapting to my very male dominated workplace. It never crossed my mind I wouldn't be treated as an equal with respect and I knew I was just as good as them. Throughout my career I was often the only woman in a meeting.

I went to an all girls school. As a shy girl with a huge chest, I would have been trying to disappear in a place full of boys. It enabled me to be bold and confident. Asian girls were able to truly be themselves. In mixed schools boys always dominate the classrooms and girls sit quietly.

I went to a mixed school in the dark ages and actually had a good experience socially, there was none of the shit that i hear about going on now, sexual assaults or even sexual comments were unheard of and would have been called out and shut down instantly. The academic side of things weren't so good though, too many boys messing about and i didn't do anywhere near as well as i should. My 4th dd has just started in an all girls school and like the others she is absolutely thriving. My ds went to a mixed, arty, non conforming independent school and was bullied relentlessly by other boys, most of which we didn't discover until after he had left. Tbh at this stage i am so fucking sick of men that i wish my dds would never have to deal with shitty males, never mind while they are still in school.

DD has been at an all girls school, mixed now in sixth form. She is confident, capable and calls out any boys for sexist behaviour and the school is supportive of that.

For her it is a good fit. She was able to talk openly with friends about periods. However I chose the school and not just single sex, it was a bonus as I thought that would suit her and I was clouded by my horrific experience at a co-Ed school. It did make some lessons easier e.g Pride and Prejudice in a co-Ed may not be quite so popular. Engineering classes were attractive to the girls unlike at a friend’s co-Ed where the boys taunted the girls sometimes for lack of initial knowledge.

A friend with a DD at a co-Ed has major mental health problems due to bullying and bitchyness. Some of the girls were trying to impress the boys etc a number have been manipulated by the boys who got some of the girls to be mean by offering them favours or threatening to say they slept with them. My friend’s DD sees sexist behaviour as normalised and doesn’t realise it is happening.

I wish with all my heart that I'd gone to a girls-only school. I know I'd have ended up a more confident successful adult. I was way too shy and sensitive for the 'education' I received. Funnily enough, I knew at the time that I wanted to go to a girls school rather than a mixed one. But no options in the area we lived, apart from extremely expensive private schools two towns away, which were out of the question financially for my parents. Daughters of a wealthy family nearby attended one, and I felt wistful every time I saw them in their lovely uniforms. The education system in this country is hideously unfair 😔

I went to a single sex school, yes there was bitchiness but I doubt that doesn't exist in a mixed school. I didn't realise how much of a benefit going to a single sex school was until I got into the work place.

I loved the fact that we never even really considered that society sometimes viewed boys as better at some subjects and didn't have to compete with boys.
Very few girls wore make up and I had to learn in my early 20's as I hadn't touched it until then! I remember only brushing my hair on special occasions at school as I didn't really care one iota otherwise.

Lots of girls from my (selective grammar) went on to very successful careers. I've seen a couple on tv regularly due to their successful stem education carrying them to top roles since I left in 2003.

My dd is in single sex now. I'm seeing the benefits as she can blossom without any boys to dominate conversations etc. that stuff is still around! You can work out Ken and boys for the rest of your life after school imo.

I don’t buy this argument at all. You’re basically saying “women have to put up with dreadful behavior from men in the workplace so should also be subjected to it at school to “prepare” them for it”.

Given that most girls go to co-ed schools and women are still treated poorly by men in many aspects of life, I don’t think they’re coming out of school with some magic ability to deal with/confront it.

School is for learning and making friendships. If we can allow girls to do this without having to put up with boys monopolizing everything then that’s only going to be a good thing.

All of the evidence shows that girls do better in single sex schools.

I don't normally post on the feminist board but i quietly follow.

Yes, it was a significant factor in our choice for DD in Y7. Our catchment has two Ofsted outstanding comprehensive state schools.

The mixed school is in many ways lovely and has improved since a change of HT 4 years ago. It is 65% male and the HT is big into "nurturing students as individuals". There's is a very active LGBTQIA+ social club at the school which welcomes all years (so Y7s mixing with more senior pupils). Despite this, the department heads couldn't give me a cogent reason why NO girls did A level further maths or computer science. They said, "girls just don't seem to enjoy these subjects unfortunately." Wtaf.

The girls school, which we selected and DD prefers, is studious and old-fashioned and in many ways I'd like it to be a bit more creative and adventurous. However - the ethos in the school is undeniably so much more positive for girls and young women. No weird gender bias around subjects, a straightforward traditional curriculum for sex ed. They do discuss gender but no one is pushing it heavily or suggesting girls can change sex. And there are no trans girls there at all. The SLT talk openly about female adolescence, the challenges of PMT and heavy periods openly (never heard that at the mixed school). It is just all round better and my DD loves, loves, loves it.

I'm sure we will encounter bitchiness etc at some point but I'd take that over boys who think they are girls any day of the week.

This sounds brilliant, and just what I want for my daughter.

@MrsMinted transgirls are relatively rare I think. How many trans boys were there?

I Iiked my single sex secondary school. It didn't offer quite a number of traditionally "male" subjects - no computing, woodwork, metalwork, engineering/CDT or technical drawing but maybe that was as much because it was an ex grammar as because it was single sex.

@Untitledsquatboulder I honestly didn't ask. I felt nervous to do so, as the mixed school is evangelical about its mission to make children happy as a first priority, then educate them as a by-product of that ambition. It felt like asking for statistics would be seen as petty, if that makes sense. (I did have to ask each head of department on the open day how many girls were doing STEM subjects at A level, also how many boys were pursuing home tech subjects and so on. I went to a senior school that was 70% boys so I know those stats aren't shared very much and it is worth asking as it gives a real sense of bias and culture in the school.)

I would not have selected All Girls as my preference btw. I was a bit shocked when DD announced she intended to go to one of the girls schools in our LA and we talked at length about the pros and cons. It was one reason I started stalking these Feminism chats, to learn more about what is really happening in our schools. My dd is the happiest I've ever seen her, and even if it is all downhill from here, I wouldnt inflict the baffling world of gender confusion and male dominance on her education having found out how much FOMO and labelling pressure there is in schools today.

@Wartywart what a strange outlook. Girls schools don't have girls about 8:30-4:30 max and then you're allowed to meet boys?!
As for the work place I took my solidly learned I'm a woman so what attitude from school and put it to good use. I demand payrises. I ask for promotions. I got my career. A lot of women in top positions went to all girls schools so I'm not sure where you get the idea that females quiver in their boots at the sight of boys having spent a few hours a week not sitting next to them while they're busy learning.

Girls schools don't have boys*

I went to an all girls school, definitely very bitchy! However, all in all it was really lovely being with girls all the time, could bond over all girls stuff & you're not completely disconnected from boys! we all found a way ;)

I went to both mixed and single sex schools.

Personally, I would avoid sending my children to single sex schools. I found it very strange how girls interacted with boys at the single sex school - it was not healthy. I really missed having male friends.

Whilst girls were really encouraged into the STEM fields, there was definitely still a slew on gender roles. For example, food tech and textiles were an option at the girls school but not at the boys equivalent.

For those saying girls can be more confident without boys - what about the workplace? Surely it is better to install confidence in children, regardless of gen

*gender at a young age.

I went to all girls. I left with lifelong respect for women, a great education, and never had problems in my professional or personal life figuring out men as a result.

I have two dds - one in all girls one in co-ed. There are challanges in both needless to say but I really feel that in the (expensive) co-ed school the girls are used to moderate the boys behaviour.

I also think the teachers pussyfoot around, don't call out the sexisim, or insist on decent interpersonal behaviour.

It is endlessly surprising to me just how sexist young teenage boys
can be. Where do they learn it?

DD in single sex school has none of that to deal with and is MUCH better off.