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Feminism: chat

Feminism: sex and gender

Original poster

single sex schools

91 replies

TheMagicPaintbrush · 08/09/2022 17:18

Hi. I wondered whether anyone here has deliberately sent their daughter to a traditional single sex school because of the gender shenanigans? I've never liked the idea of single sex schooling in the past, but if you had to choose between a quite traditional single-sex option and a more "woke" mixed sex one, what would you do? TIA.

OP posts:
Fairislefandango · 08/09/2022 22:09

Girls' schools are definitely not immune to gender issues or 'wokeness'.

TeenDivided · 09/09/2022 06:01

The School’s approach is far more important than single sex v mixed in my experience

I suspect this is the crux of the matter.

Fieldfly · 09/09/2022 06:23

Yes. Went to one myself. My DCs love it, so much more free, no boys taking up all the space and time, no sexual harassment, they can do all the subjects… I could go on n

deydododatdodontdeydo · 09/09/2022 13:48

Went to a mixed sex school, was horribly bullied by girls.
Not for me, thanks, and I wouldn't have sent my daughter to one either. She has been bullied by girls too.

Mumof3girlsandaboy · 09/09/2022 14:05

i have 3 daughters and 2 are currently in all girls school and they love it. My oldest went there too and going to university very soon.

faffadoodledo · 09/09/2022 14:16

TQIDLLTK · 08/09/2022 20:34

Always scraps in mixed sex school, virtually none in single sex school. Much greater focus on actual education with strong emphasis on STEM and zero question of any subject or career being unsuitable for women. Girls benefit immensely from single sex schools.

Worst fight I ever witnessed at my awful mixed comp was between two girls. Terrifying!
What's more, the only bullying my DD ever experienced in her mixed comp was from girls. Sure she had stupid sexist and misogynist comments thrown at her by boys. But psychologically the girl on girl bullying was far more damaging

GaraMedouar · 09/09/2022 14:36

I went to a girls secondary - I would have preferred mixed. I was at mixed primary and mixed 6th form - much better. Catty bullying at my school by the popular/cool girls - rarely physical fights but the sending to Coventry and being mean type.

My DD has just started at local mixed sex comp - her choice and she’s very happy there. They do have new unisex toilets - but they are two sides of a corridor and the pupils themselves have informally designated one side for boys and one side for girls - but it’s not official. Changing rooms are still single sex. I’m keeping a careful eye on the ‘gender’ policies.

But, my partner’s DD chose to go to an all girls school (different area) - but it is apparently becoming mixed sex next year - so she’s not overly chuffed!

aModernClassic · 09/09/2022 14:39

My DD13 goes to a girls school. Lots of make-up and rolled up skirts Hmm.
There's a few trans boys now from Y7 and upwards. But as far as we can tell, no boys. The day her school accepts boys in skirts is the day I remove her and take her to another school. The school has a high proportion of Indian and Muslim girls, so I'm hoping the head stays strong and sticks to single sex.

puffylovett · 09/09/2022 14:42

My son goes to an all boys comp school, no ‘wokeism’ at all (and he has witnessed very little bullying, just silliness and high jinks).
other son (younger) goes to the local mixed as he disliked the all boys. Wokeism is rife there, particularly amongst the girls and it drives him bonkers on a daily basis.

Vebrithien · 09/09/2022 14:54

Beware.

The MAT I work in has the "trans policy" that students may attend the single sex school of their "acquired gender".

TeenDivided · 09/09/2022 15:03

Vebrithien · 09/09/2022 14:54

Beware.

The MAT I work in has the "trans policy" that students may attend the single sex school of their "acquired gender".

I suspect that policy would be able to be challenged successfully in court. A school is either single sex or it isn't.
Are schools allowed to have as part of their admission criteria someone's 'gender identity'?

Vebrithien · 09/09/2022 18:33

It hasn't been tested yet. I teach in a co-ed school, however we have both male and female single sex schools as part of the MAT.

The policy covers both of them, trans students can switch to their opposite sex schools.

wb3 · 10/09/2022 19:44

I taught in an all girls school for 6 years.

The bullying was off the scale. Some girls are truly vile and the single sex environment meant the 'cool' girls reigned supreme and didn't they fucking know it!

NumberTheory · 10/09/2022 21:30

I was very much put off single sex schools by my time at university where the 4 out of ten women in my hall who were single sex educated all showed an inability to develop well rounded relationships with men. They're doing fine now, 30 years on, but it was pretty stark for the 3 years of uni.

But my two nieces went to single sex schools and have not had the same issues. I don't think it's simply to do with the passage of time. As someone said up thread, look at the individual schools.

AllAloneInThisHouse · 11/09/2022 11:17

@NumberTheory

So, you’re only complain is that few women didn’t have boyfriends?
And like that is a bad thing?

NumberTheory · 11/09/2022 14:15

AllAloneInThisHouse · 11/09/2022 11:17

@NumberTheory

So, you’re only complain is that few women didn’t have boyfriends?
And like that is a bad thing?

It’s odd (telling?) that you think an inability to develop well rounded relationships with men would mean they didn’t have boyfriends. On the contrary, my observation was that the only way they got on with men in a non-superficial way was as sexual partners. They were much keener on getting boyfriends than the women from mixed schools, they had no male friends other than ones they wanted to sleep with, couldn’t stay friends with them after they’d stopped sleeping with them and were the source of virtually all the relationship drama in the hall (which was single sex).

Gloschick · 11/09/2022 14:36

DD goes to an all girls school with all boys next door. I find it is the best of both worlds as they socialise with the boys on the bus but can be themselves in the classroom. The teachers encourage them to be strong independent women, lots of STEM stuff available. One teacher v keen on making sure they don't do typical girl body language during presentations (hiding hands and covering boobs etc!)

It is nice not to have to worry and who is allowed in which loo, but not sure what you meant by woke thing - surely single sex and mixed schools can be equally woke? There is the usual fascination in the assortment of genders & sexualities that are apparently on offer, but this is the same for her friends at a local mixed school. I wouldn't say she has come across much bitchiness so far - the only way to avoid bitchy girls is going to an all boys school!

AllAloneInThisHouse · 11/09/2022 15:30

I went to mixed, wish my country had single sex schools, because boys were so awful.
But I guess that prepared for the real world, they don’t seem to change much.
Boys were alway fighting, horrible bullying year after year.
Well in my adulthood and still don’t like or trust men.

Sickoffamilydrama · 12/09/2022 22:50

DD started at a small single sex school in Easter we choose it because of the size she's autistic plus has dyslexia and dyscalcula and really struggled after lockdown she was 4 years behind she started lockdown at about 9-12 months behind so actually slipped backwards.

Anyway the school is definitely single sex, it only allows those "assigned at birth female" but does have a few pupils who ID as trans and they seem to be treading the right rope of allowing pronouns but not really treating anyone as different.

ThinkWittyThoughts · 17/09/2022 17:47

Depends on the child. Depends on the school options.

I went to an all girls school for 7 years.
It has never once occurred to me that I could do a subject / activity because I'm female.

It took me several years to be comfortable around men. Probably not a bad thing as I came through it unscathed.

My school was welcoming, supportive and friendly. It was incredibly unusual for bitchiness to spill into bullying.

But that's because we all banded together in the face of tremendous academic pressure from the school. Our school had the highest case of mental illness in the county. My a mile.

So yes, I enjoyed it. Yes I'd do it again. But I'd want my parent reminding me every day that academic achievements do not equal self worth.

Chose wisely

JazbayGrapes · 17/09/2022 19:08

If a girl has no brothers - then no.

AllAloneInThisHouse · 17/09/2022 19:30

@JazbayGrapes

Why not?
What does brothers have to do with it?

Cillery · 17/09/2022 19:42

Went to a traditional single sex school. Dead strict. Learned lots. Loved it in spite of getting in trouble a bit.

Cillery · 17/09/2022 19:43

Went to a traditional single sex school. Dead strict. Learned lots. Loved it in spite of getting in trouble a bit.

JazbayGrapes · 17/09/2022 19:54

Why not?
What does brothers have to do with it?

Lack of interaction with opposite sex will likely cause problems later.