Feminism: chat
Murder of female jogger Ashling Murphy in Ireland
Taytocrisps · 13/01/2022 19:33
A 23 year old woman was murdered in Ireland yesterday. Ashling Murphy was running along a canal towpath at around 4 p.m. when she was fatally attacked by a man in his 40s. Ashling was a primary school teacher and taught first class pupils (age 7/8). She was also a very talented musician. The suspect is being held for questioning and was known to gardaà (the Irish police force). Vigils for Ashling will be taking place all over Ireland over the next few days. I am shocked and sad for her family, friends, colleagues, pupils and all who knew her. Such a devastating loss for them. But I am also very angry that women are risking their lives doing something as basic as a run utdoors in daylight. www.irishtimes.com/news/crime-and-law/garda%C3%AD-say-no-stone-will-be-left-unturned-in-ashling-murphy-investigation-1.4775034
RedLemon · 13/01/2022 19:42
Sickening. I wish I could write down all the rage filled soliloquies I’ve had to myself today over this but I can’t because I am just so so tired. They hate us don’t they? It’s just that most of them cover it up pretty well. And then one of them doesn’t and one of us dies.
Sympathies aren’t enough but I send them to her family and friends with my whole heart.
TerribleCustomerCervix · 13/01/2022 19:48
I was talking to DH about this- feeling despondent because people will go to these vigils, then go home and think they’ve done their bit for VAWAG.
DH thinks something will really change this time 
but I’ve lost all hope tbh.
I just don’t trust the average man to actually do his bit with his peers to challenge the behaviour that’s the root cause here.
SantaHat · 13/01/2022 19:52
I posted this on another thread about this awful news and I just feel so low and lost about it all:
Same with my DP, when I said I wasn’t going to run through the local woodland in my own he was confused
I had a similar conversation with my DH only last night before I heard this news. I went for an early evening run and I had a small incident which turned out to be nothing but momentarily I was cautious and potentially fearful about something I suspect a man would not have even noticed. I resent feeling that I can only go running along roads with lots of people and lights (and I don’t actually like running in the daylight as I’ve had some many comments and abuse in the past so I don’t like to stand out). Do men ever think about this shit? I don’t like this world much right now.
Poor Ashling, it’s just so awful.
MrsTerryPratchett · 13/01/2022 20:20
@PotterHead1985
Every single time a man says this I say, 'but every woman'. I'm sick and fucking tired of men thinking they can be bloody Switzerland. Nope you're either the Axis or the Allies.
Sack up and do something.
wordlehurdle · 13/01/2022 23:31
But what are we to do?
This is sickening but happens again and again same rhetoric
What are we going to do????
I'm crying here about this lovely young woman , my daughter is the same age same profession looking after and caring for these sick fucks kids what as as women are we going to do?
Vigils make no difference I'm afraid do what else can we do?
VelvetChairGirl · 14/01/2022 20:35
@Keke94LND
where I live several women have died at the grand union canal, I dont know how many over the years there was a very high profile case of a school girl a few years ago, nothing ever changes.
TurquoiseBaubles · 14/01/2022 20:38
Of course he was out on bail for other offences, including attacking another woman. Has it never occurred to authorities that if someone is facing a long stretch in jail they might just make the most of the time before they are sent down? 
They need to refuse bail to anyone who is accused of an unprovoked violent attack on a stranger. Full fucking stop.
If they want to let men out on jail when they've thumped their best friend or been in a bar brawl, then maybe. But a man who has attacked a woman for no reason at all should never be given bail.
truthwarrior17 · 14/01/2022 20:42
It wasn't him. He's been released and is no longer a suspect. The Gardai messed up talking to the media so confidently and assuming they had the right guy. They didn't. There's another 'person of interest' now. Hopefully the perpetrator will be charged and convicted.
Exhausteddog · 14/01/2022 20:54
I went for a run yesterday at 8.30pm and DH said don't go anywhere dark (!!) Or lonely. Obviously everywhere is dark but some roads don't have street lights and I tend to avoid those.
DD suddenly said (and she didn't know about the murder) that she had considered what she would do if attacked coming home from her dance class. She walks just under a mile to a dance class sometimes at around 4.30pm. DH was uncharacteristically shocked and saddened that his teenage DD would have planned for that scenario.
1Week · 15/01/2022 16:22
What exactly can be done?
Vigils, candles, hashtags, I'm sick of them.
It's tone deaf to say NotAllMen at this time but it's true, it isn't. Most aren't murderous or violent or creepy.
Education, like with Consent Initiatives probably do help the edge cases, who would be inclined to push boundaries, so good.
But there are the serious hard core perverts and misogynist, or just generally violent bastards or know but don't care or just like it.
What can be done about them?
Stronger punishments for their "entry level" crimes is all I can think of. But society seems to be moving away from punitive measures in general.
1Week · 16/01/2022 00:41
In the middle of the day on well frequented walk ways?
There isn't enough of us.
Evil men exist. (So do evil women - it's a human thing - but they are generally not violent, I suppose because you need physical strength for your violence to be effective)
So what do we do about evil men?
I've just been looking at twitter and it's all platitudes.
Wanderingstars4238 · 16/01/2022 05:53
Most men are responsible because most men refuse to acknowledge how rampant sexism, domestic violence, and misogyny are. And they try to shut women's conversations these things down, usually by changing the subject ("What about women? Women kill too! Women hit men, too!").
Men have larger platforms and are listened to more than women. They could seriously help change things, but they stay silent instead.
Most men excuse sexual objectification and deviant porn, and they never get on to men for being sexist the way they would get onto someone for being racist.
Iwasonline · 16/01/2022 06:01
I was discussing this with my husband yesterday. And also the new women's only gym opening up locally. He threw in the whole NAMALT thing. I put my foot down this time and said that men need to understand.
He asked an interesting question. As a mum of two boys, do I want to teach them that as males, their mere presence could scare a woman or make her feel uncomfortable? Yes .. I do believe they need to understand this.
VelvetChairGirl · 16/01/2022 09:20
@Iwasonline
He asked an interesting question. As a mum of two boys, do I want to teach them that as males, their mere presence could scare a woman or make her feel uncomfortable? Yes .. I do believe they need to understand this.
Well duh and if they have a problem with how they are perceived they need to bring it up with their bothers, as they say one bad apple spoils the barrel
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