Men fighting in the gym

[IceLace100]

Just went to my local Pure gym. I was running a 5k when an argument turned into a fight at the weights machines.

15-20 men in their teens 20s and 30s.

Squaring off, shouting, people pushing and shoving and escalating to punching, some people holding others back etc etc.

I alerted all the people in a world of their own with headphones on then left, along with the majority of other people, (ALL the women left).

Question 1:
Why oh why do some men utterly fail to behave themselves in public spaces??? What the actual fuck is wrong with them. I just don't get it.

I mean, I was just trying to quietly run my 5k ffs.

I'm so fucked off. Since lockdown eased, I have joined 2 gyms. First gym a man shot another man right outside the entrance of it. I turned up one day to police vans and tape. So I stopped my membership and moved to puregym. Now there has been a fight there- is nowhere safe from male violence?

Question 2:
Shall I move gyms AGAIN and inconvenience myself by travelling further because of male violence? On one hand why the fuck should I have to? On the other hard, I want to be safe.

For those of you thinking I should complain to pure gym, oh you worry, I have!

I'm sorry that you've been so vicariously traumatised by this situation involving other people.

Could it be that it was HIS ball and he wanted to go home?

@ColorMagicBarbie

I'm sorry that you've been so vicariously traumatised by this situation involving other people.

Where did I say that my love? Nowhere, did I?

I have said fighting in public is unacceptable. Not that controversial is it?

@ColorMagicBarbie

I'd probably watch but I wouldn't be rushing out the door in terror.

Again, did I say I rushed out the door in terror??? NOPE.

I said I left. Which I did.

Someone needs some reading comprehension lessons.

You doth protest too much.

@ColorMagicBarbie

You doth protest too much.

Troll.

It's awful that happened OP :( I've used Puregym before and everyone there was fine but if that happened to me I'd probably find another gym, at least until they can guarantee they have banned everyone involved. FFs. You'd think we'd be alright in the gym.

You sound quite angry OP. Do you have the roid rage?

I'm guessing some angry men have happened upon this thread .

Anyway, I get it OP why the fuck can't they go somewhere else and not annoy people. I would have been intimidated and probably left.

I remember listening to an interview with women who were de-transitioning, they were female but had previously been taking testosterone. They both stated that while on the testosterone they felt confident, invincible and strong, like they were untouchable.

As much as it is socialisation, I think there is a hormonal element to men's crappy behaviour. That doesn't mean they aren't responsible, but it would go a long way to explaining why they are overwhelmingly more likely to be aggressive/ violent.

@ColorMagicBarbie

Roid rage is pretty much a myth tbh. Most men feel great on steroids.

Why did everybody leave? I'd have just cracked on with my jog and left them to it.

My ex certainly felt marvellous on them.

So he'd lost his job due to starting fights, had narrowly escaped road rage convictions from a lack of cctv at the multiple locations, but he felt great.

I didn't, though. The multiple rapes, violence and the beating/strangulation when he decided to take off his belt to thrash my 3 year old (I launched between them and called him every name under the sun to get his anger at me and not her) weren't a high point of my life.

I don't suppose it was as much fun for him when his lung collapsed and the hospital found cardiomegaly. But by then, I certainly didn't care anymore and half wished he'd keep taking them to solve me the problem permanently.

I've not seen a fight in a gym, but there are a huge number of heavy things which, if chucked about, would be potentially lethal to bystanders. So I'd want to join the queues for the pod doors as well.

Lol.

'Violence isn't usually random and a random bloke won't usually attack you just because he's having an argument with somebody else. I mean, if somebody gets murdered by their husband in your neighbourhood do you immediately start eyeing your own in case he also attacks you? Of course not, because it's not related to you.'

Ok so you have never been is fairly close proximity to it properly kicking off between multiple men.

That's very very obvious.

Men get out as well. Are they making it about men?

Making it about us wtf!

Getting hit by something/ crashed into/ shoved/ lashed out at as in that situation it's just real rage.

I've been in a pub where there was a glassing. I've been punched in the face by a man who was presumably just raging and walked up to me at a bus stop and wham.

I've seen knives pulled. I've been on the wrong end of a double barralled sawn off shotgun in a robbery.

In our high street at old days chucking out time at weekends there were meat wagons parked up on the bit with all the pubs ready. There'd be glasses thrown groups of men running up and down trying to attack each other. Police in the mix.

Tbh that was outside so me and my friends used to sneak our final pints outside and watch the action from a safe distance! Most of the men did too.

Once in a pub and suddenly it all went off about 1000 people. Chairs bottles glasses flying all over shouting screaming. No one could get out hardly it was rammed. Like something out of a film. I've had grown men front up to me because I didn't want a drink. I mean on and on.

What I'm hearing is that you don't actually know what you're talking about

Indoors it kicks off. And I don't mean a bit of posturing two men a scuffle and broken up. I mean that feeling you get, when you know. They are not fucking about they really want to cause serious damage.

The women and the men get the fuck out.

Up to you. Can I advise though that if/ when you have children with you. You don't think oh. They aren't interested in women or children. And just stay put. I know it seems very silly and egotistical to leave. But I think you should consider it.

Well, it sounds like he probably didn't use them responsibly. It's like saying alcohol is deadly because my neighbour drank himself to death.

@NiceGerbil

Lol.

'Violence isn't usually random and a random bloke won't usually attack you just because he's having an argument with somebody else. I mean, if somebody gets murdered by their husband in your neighbourhood do you immediately start eyeing your own in case he also attacks you? Of course not, because it's not related to you.'

Ok so you have never been is fairly close proximity to it properly kicking off between multiple men.

That's very very obvious.

Men get out as well. Are they making it about men?

Making it about us wtf!

Getting hit by something/ crashed into/ shoved/ lashed out at as in that situation it's just real rage.

I've been in a pub where there was a glassing. I've been punched in the face by a man who was presumably just raging and walked up to me at a bus stop and wham.

I've seen knives pulled. I've been on the wrong end of a double barralled sawn off shotgun in a robbery.

In our high street at old days chucking out time at weekends there were meat wagons parked up on the bit with all the pubs ready. There'd be glasses thrown groups of men running up and down trying to attack each other. Police in the mix.

Tbh that was outside so me and my friends used to sneak our final pints outside and watch the action from a safe distance! Most of the men did too.

Once in a pub and suddenly it all went off about 1000 people. Chairs bottles glasses flying all over shouting screaming. No one could get out hardly it was rammed. Like something out of a film. I've had grown men front up to me because I didn't want a drink. I mean on and on.

What I'm hearing is that you don't actually know what you're talking about

Indoors it kicks off. And I don't mean a bit of posturing two men a scuffle and broken up. I mean that feeling you get, when you know. They are not fucking about they really want to cause serious damage.

The women and the men get the fuck out.

Up to you. Can I advise though that if/ when you have children with you. You don't think oh. They aren't interested in women or children. And just stay put. I know it seems very silly and egotistical to leave. But I think you should consider it.

Well, I certainly wouldn't be creating a dramatic thread on mumsnet because I saw a few bros having a scuffle in the gym. We're hardly talking about a drive by shooting.

Interestingly my DH is on testosterone therapy. Nothing to do with bodybuilding. He's found the NHS excellent. It was found on a blood test for something else and they got straight on it.

He gets massive doses injected as it's rock bottom. No one knows why.

I went to an appt doc said he may become less um. Passive when he has this.

He has not changed even slightly! The most calm patient man I have ever met with or without gallons of extra T.

He says he feels a bit less weary and a bit more cheerful and that's it.

So that's interesting. Anecdata obv.

And please stop with the "oh, you've never seen a pub brawl before". I used to be an amateur boxer. I've broken two blokes noses defending myself in the past.

Bros?

You're a woman right?

Where do you live? How old are you?

I've never heard a woman use bros although the younger men say it a fair bit. Maybe your age and location is relevant?

Sounds like it might be an area with a lot of posturing and often no real intent!

Do what you like. But I mean if there was rioting outside your house. Full on rioting. Would you pop out for a pint of milk in the happy knowledge that you would be invisible as not a man?

You're funny.

And why would you get away if a drive by? Clue. By the time you know it's happening they have driven by! Crikey. What a drama llama!

Can you afford a more expensive gym? In my experience I’ve found places like Pure & The Gym that are really cheap attract a different kind of person than the ones you’d find at Virgin & David Lloyd.

@NiceGerbil

Interestingly my DH is on testosterone therapy. Nothing to do with bodybuilding. He's found the NHS excellent. It was found on a blood test for something else and they got straight on it.

He gets massive doses injected as it's rock bottom. No one knows why.

I went to an appt doc said he may become less um. Passive when he has this.

He has not changed even slightly! The most calm patient man I have ever met with or without gallons of extra T.

He says he feels a bit less weary and a bit more cheerful and that's it.

So that's interesting. Anecdata obv.

It massively depends on what your GP is like it seems. One even told my partner it probably wasn't low T as he had a decent beard. I mean wtf, we're not talking about a teenager here!

However, his private TRT doc is also an NHS consultant so I imagine if one was lucky enough to see him then they'd be sorted.

I'd imagine that low T probably causes more behavioural issues than high T as it's likely much more common and causes irritability. The private doc mentioned above said in his opinion it's probs quite common but just misdiagnosed. I.csn certainly believe it as T levels have been dropping significantly for decades. Like 20% in last few decades and same for decades previous.

@NiceGerbil Jesus, where do you live???

@NiceGerbil

Bros?

You're a woman right?

Where do you live? How old are you?

I've never heard a woman use bros although the younger men say it a fair bit. Maybe your age and location is relevant?

Sounds like it might be an area with a lot of posturing and often no real intent!

Do what you like. But I mean if there was rioting outside your house. Full on rioting. Would you pop out for a pint of milk in the happy knowledge that you would be invisible as not a man?

You're funny.

And why would you get away if a drive by? Clue. By the time you know it's happening they have driven by! Crikey. What a drama llama!

I live in Birmingham so I'll let you decide if it's all posturing. I used 'bros' sarcastically because that what these guys are - gym bros. I already said I go to a powerlifting gym. Surely it's not that unbelievable that I've heard words like bro and geezer etc.

DH is early 40s and his behaviour has not changed at all.

There is an increase in men who are getting older looking for T due to 'male menopause'.

Which is up to them obv. But if a normal part of ageing and not low past a certain point then they can't expect NHS treatment. And they need to use a word other than menopause. That word is taken and is for a very different thing.

Not saying that's the situation with your friend. Just thought worth mentioning while on topic.

Russian lol a leafy North London borough

Geezer 😂

You are out of date love.

That's really very 90s. Still heard a little but rare!

And wtf is the Birmingham thing about?! Bit random.

You are saying Birmingham is awash with violence, everywhere? Punch ups non stop? Oh 6 men got stabbed while I was at the gym. Of course I just carried on with my yoga in the middle of it all. Oh? 15 stabbings at mine. Seems better than last month!

@ColorMagicBarbie

Well, it sounds like he probably didn't use them responsibly. It's like saying alcohol is deadly because my neighbour drank himself to death.

And that makes it OK?

Your neighbour drinking himself to death proves alcohol is deadly. He wouldn't be dead otherwise. It might not be as deadly in lower doses and durations, but it's still a potentially deadly substance that is associated with harm to both drinkers and innocent bystanders. That's why alcohol is taxed and regulated.

I can use painkillers responsibly. I wouldn't advocate that it's fine for somebody to buy them from a bloke round the corner because I can and do tail them off immediately I don't need them for pain relief anymore.

Steroids, like heroin, morphine, amphetamines and many other substances that can be used responsibly, are also abused, particularly when they are being used for something different to the intended purpose - such as looking bigger when there is nothing wrong with the current hormone levels, having more energy and a buzz or laying in a lovely warm, fluffy cloud of bliss - and have known adverse effects upon both the consumer and other people. They need to be regulated and controlled because of that element who don't actually need them medically and cause the negative consequences to themselves and society.

People using medications safely doesn't mean that there isn't a real problem medically and socially with people who don't or won't. And this applies to roids as much as anything else. Denying there is a problem because you haven't been on the receiving end of it personally is unreasonable, IMO.

@NiceGerbil

DH is early 40s and his behaviour has not changed at all.

There is an increase in men who are getting older looking for T due to 'male menopause'.

Which is up to them obv. But if a normal part of ageing and not low past a certain point then they can't expect NHS treatment. And they need to use a word other than menopause. That word is taken and is for a very different thing.

Not saying that's the situation with your friend. Just thought worth mentioning while on topic.

My partner's personality has not drastically changed but it's like he went from a permanently down day to a permanently good day.

Nothing to do work male menopause in his case. He completely lost his sex drive in his early 30s and couldn't even keep an erection going. Test levels were in the 85-100 year old bracket.